armyofrobots Posted September 23, 2014 Share Posted September 23, 2014 (edited) HHN24. "YOU ARE NOT PREPARED"...wait...that's Illidan...."YOU'VE BEEN WARNED." Oh, okay? Have I? I should have noted that....somewhere. I did not receive a warning. I received a text message about my data limit, but nothing from 1-800-HHN...WARNING. Warning. Either way, false advertising of the warning or not...here we are. 24 years. 1 year more than 23 years. How was this year? Well, it was great. It was a SOLID year. Marketing was meh, web-site was meh, but when you got into the park. What a year. You know what the best part of the event was? That wimpy red firework after the Opening Scares. Did you see that thing? That's what a Disney firework dud looks like. Poof. What...what was that? You could have shot that thing at gasoline and cardboard and the tinder would have turned to ICE. Clearly that firework has self esteem issues. Or maybe it’s just being humble. It’s just “hey, it’s not about me. I don’t want to show off. It’s about you, have fun, guys.” Alright. Alright. Let's kick this thing off. Also, prepare for something BRAND NEW with my review at the end. It will blow your socks off. Maybe. Probably not. "HEY ROBUTTS...--" HEY HEY HEY. NO THIS YEAR. NO ROBUTTS. I don’t have TIME for your stupid name calling! THIS REVIEW WILL BE LONG. Get some snacky-snacks, cuddle up with your favorite wife/husband and/or picture of somebody you’re stalking. WE’RE DOING THIS LIVE. Spoilers, fun, and nonsense awaits you, my little ladybugs. New paragraph. From Dusk till Dawn WHOA. DID YOU SEE THAT? THAT VAMPIRE TOTALLY RIPPE--wait. boobs. Let me start off by this. The movie..a gem. A gem from my childhood and just an overall gem in cinematic history. The TV show? Not bad. It's okay. But there's a....certain thing about the film that just kisses me with the passion of 1,000 waterfalls. Plus, Salma Hayek. Sallllllmmmaaaa....ahem. So, I expected the TV show to have the dark humor to it, and unfortunately, it does not. It takes itself very seriously, and since this house is based on the TV show, the house does as well. If this were based on the film, I feel like we'd have a...more fun house? But we don't. Either way, the house turned out to be pretty good. The facade: it was great seeing the ***** Twister. Uh...what...what are those? Are those stars? Is it seriously not letting me say *****? Oh come on! That's not even a bad word. I can't say *****. OH COME ON. I’m 30 years old! *****! FINE. FINE. THE TWISTER. Is that better?! We enter into THE TWISTER and it looks great. The barker did a fine job, and entering it (THE TWISTER, not the barker) had decent, although predictable, scares. However, I could see going into this and not understanding what's going on, though. So those who did not see the TV show, or even the film, I understand your questions/puzzlement. The middle of the house is pretty boring. The actors were too far apart, and there were too few of them. Plus, those loin cloths, woof. You dudes deserve a raise for feeling drafty all night. Again, the set pieces were pretty good. But the scares were just so random and so far apart. Sometimes it beneficial knowing where a scare will be because you’re feeling that dread coming; the oncoming storm. These rooms were just weird, and when you expected a scare, you didn’t get one, not because the actors were resetting, but because there wasn’t a scare. I did like how the rooms were very open, it was something new-ish because you really don't see rooms like that with actors in the middle in a wide room, but it’s almost like that setup sacrificed the scares. However... That finale. That's when this house turned from forgettable to something worth remembering. The Gecko brothers were great, VERY high energy. The **--sorry, sorry, THE TWISTER really came alive in the finale, finally. I liked seeing Salma at the end, so much so that my glasses cracked from looking so intently. It was crazy. Oh, was there somebody with a chainsaw in there? Sorry, didn't notice. Salma. I'm sure you understand. I will say that the house ended too quickly and didn’t let me spend enough time in there looking at Salma…I mean, taking in the scares. Totally. The scares. …..Salma. House Count: 3 House rating: 7 ******* out of 9 Twisters The Walking Dead: End of the Line Halloween Horror Nights AMC’s The Walking Dead presents Halloween Horror Nights [dash] The Walking Dead [colon] End of the Line (Two-Thousand and Fourteen) starring AMC’s The Walking Dead THREE YEARS. Three years of Walking Dead merch, marketing, walkers, people complaining about The Walking Dead(EVENTHOUGHITHADTHELONGESTWAITHAHAHAHSUCKITHATERS), commas, A ZOOMBIE CORAL, and other stuff. I’m gonna start this off with this: the house last year was better. I liked the prison because it felt like a prison, and the story was contained to that area. This year was another “best of” house, similar to the first house in 2012. Starting off with the prison, and then going through Wal*Mart, woods, a store with a helicopter in the roof, fences, tiny rock formations, somebody’s house, a BBQ, another person’s house, a fenced community, and then a giant line of people waiting to get into a haunted attraction. I wish last year was the biggest house ever, because I would have loved to been in that prison for 7-10 minutes with all of those walkers. That would have been legit. Not that prisons are legit…I mean, they can be. I’m not a fan of The Walking Dead, but I still enjoyed the house, even with how disjointed it was. And despite the HUGE cast, the house still felt empty to me. But, what can you do? At this point, it seems we’ve experimented enough with the Walking Dead, she’s ready for a commitment, and we’re like “aw, baby. I just don’t know how to please you. We’ll make you bigger” and she gets grumpy. Women, ammirite? I really enjoyed that scene in the woods; that was a DAMN good scene. Played out perfectly and the walkers in there really did a good job working with the strobes and dummies. The department store was okay. Somebody said that the Walker hallway gag was from Hollywood? If so, that was neat. Glad to see if over here, even if the reset was a little awkward. The rest of the house was pretty okay. The ending confused me, just because I don’t watch the show. Are they cannibals? That’s the only thing I came up with. And then the fenced off area was great at night, during the day it was pretty bland, but at night was pretty good. That’s it, man. Longest house in history will be a vague memory that nobody really mentions. The only thing that we can do with The Walking Dead is the guests are actually the Walkers and you, as a walker, attack the actors. First house in history where you are the star! Sign up today. House Count: 3 House Rating: 3 BBQs out of 21 Grills Alien vs. Predator Dawn of Chestbursters PUMPED. So pumped when I heard ALIEN. I don’t give an EFF about Predators, but Aliens?! Sign me up, have sex with my face, impregnate my stomach, burst out of my chest, and kiss me on the way out with your tiny mouthception mouth. I think we can all pretty much admit that we’ve been waiting for a house revolving around the Alien franchise for a long time, now. And the house did not disappoint, even if it may be a bit MISLEADING. When I think of an AvP house, I thought we’d see Aliens vs. Predators, and we did not get that. We got Xenomorphs, we got Predators, but we did not get the VS., and I think I’m okay with that? I think I am. It was marketed towards us being caught in the middle, but I did not feel that way. But, we got our heroes. The house rarely lets up. You go into it already tense and excited for what’s in store. The sets were great and you’re soaking it all in and BAM! XENOMORPH. YUS. It looks great, sounds great. Totally awesome. And basically more of the same, with Predators in the mix. The egg room looked great, and I loved all of the facehugger puppet works. The Predator cloaking scene was pretty cool, as was seeing the android on the table. Honestly, I was just thrilled to see all of this, because Alien is one of my favorite horror films. Complaints? I have a few. I wanted to see a FULL SIZED Xenomorph walking around. That would have SPACE JAMZ 2014. It could have been a drone, didn’t have to be a queen or anything, but just something not coming through a vent or wall. Just this 6.5 foot tall Xenomorph who will eat out your eyes with his tiny mouth. Also, I wanted to hear THAT ALARM. And if you’ve watched Alien or Aliens, you know EXACTLY what alarm I’m talking about. If it is there, I didn’t hear it, but I LOVE THAT ALARM. And let’s have some more victims! Somebody with a Facehugger on their face rolling around. Scientists getting destroyed by either alien. Impaled by Predator Wolverine claws, or by a Xenomorph tail. And naturally, I wanted to see a predator taking on Xenomorphs. I was hoping to see that fight. The LAUGH of a Predator while he’s poking at his wrist bomb thing. BWAHAHAHAHA. Aaaaaannnnddddd…… IT’S A TRAVESTY THAT THE FINAL MARINE DIDN’T YELL “GET TO THE CHOPPA!” SERIOUSLY!? GET IN THE GAME. House Count: 2 House Rating: 1 “Get away from her” out of 1 “you BITCH” Dracula: Reign of Blood Oh, it’s REIGN. Not RAIN. Like, it won’t rain blood. Okay. How does blood reign? As soon as I saw the trailer, I said “I’ll see you at Horror Nights”, and then I hung up the phone with my friend who lives out of town, and said ‘Hey, this will probably be at Horror Nights.” Well, guess who was right? Me. I was also wrong because my friend bailed this year... what a jerk. The movie looks pretty terrible. Like…pretty terrible. So I didn’t expect too much from the house. The first couple of runs, it WAS pretty terrible. Bad scares, decent sets, awful guests around me. It just was not fun. But, the more and more I do it, it’s starting to grow on me. The sets are still decent, but I’ve noticed a few more spots with actors and they’re becoming more aggressive. Which is good considering Dracula is a blood thirsty vampire who apparently runs an army against other kingdoms in Eastern Europe. I know I love politics in my monster movies. FUN. You know what the house reminded me of? The Wolfman from 2009. Almost exactly like The Wolfman. With the town, the winding corridors, Draculas, the gypsy ladies, people…all very Wolfman. The castle part is pretty forgettable. Wait. What castle? The village section is okay, with that old guy yelling 'help me'. We called him Mr. Pappy. Mr. Pappy wasn’t looking too well, with the baldness and rubber skin, but he managed to get a few scares. I think the thing that is really holding this house together (other than Mr. Pappy) is the Dracula bite scene. Kind of like Nightingales rip in half scene, minus those awful, bald nurses. So bald. So tiny. So fierce. So Scary. We really need a Nightingales sequel. NOW. Starring Mr. Pappy. I liked the dense fog (is it supposed to be smoke from the fire?), and the finale is decent. You know what the issue is? Dracula doesn’t look like Dracula. I mean, he doesn’t need to look like Dracula from the Beetlejuice show (please, not ever. Not ever ever.), but some kind of defining quality of Dracula other than me staring into the dudes mouth to see if he has pointy teeth. SOMETHING. I also would have liked more heads on sticks. Head sticks. Sticks…with heads on them. Do you see what I’m saying? HEAD-STICKS. Maybe a big “D” on Dracula’s chest. NO. Not that kind of D. You sicko! GOD. House Count: 5 House Rating: 1 Mr. Pappy out of 10 DRAH-COO-LAHs Giggles 'n Gore, INC The original conecpt was a standup routine by Al Gore. HOLY MOLY. What a TERRIBLE queue video. I'm a big supporter of queue videos, but I'll set myself on fire if all we get are those kind of videos. That was terrible. Some dude googled pictures of clowns, threw some goofy animation from their Windows Live Maker, turned that baby into an AVI, and said I'M DONE. OY. Other than that horrific queue video, I liked this house. I liked it more on my first run, but it got a little worse each time. I really liked the facade and the first room. Really cool setup, and I loved the A Clockwork Orange montage of clowns burning into the dudes eyes. The other really memorable scene was the finale. Really great stuff going on there. Kind of reminded me of the Universal Monsters house with the film hanging down. Except it was pool noodles and clowns. And then the kiss of death from the chainsaw really sold it. I always like it when they're able to end with a saw in the D-queue. The middle, though, was hit or miss. It was definitely gorey. I liked seeing the Well Walker from last year going into the grinder. I think right after that (or before, who knows) was that mirror gag which was really successful. The tophat clown was definitely creepy looking and had a decent scare. The other memorable thing was the hallway with the air shots. It being completely dark in there with the air was super effective. My pikachu passed out. I guess at the end of it all, I was hoping this house would be more of a comedy house, but it wasn't. I would have liked to see some more giggles, and not from the clowns, but from me. I feel if this had been the comedy house, I would have enjoyed it WAY more. I remember going to the Six Flags Magic Mountain Spooky Scary event about 10 years ago and they had a clown house which was the tits. There was a room where everybody entered, but a clown told us to STOP. We all did and the lights turned off. And then the clown told us to find a way out. This was just a REGULAR house, no upcharge, nothing. So, we tried to find our way, but eventually the lights came out and there were clowns EVERYWHERE, they came out of nowhere. It was terrifying, but the thing I remember most was there was a clown with a kazoo going BANANAS. He was dancing around, pulling his hair, and playing the hell out of that kazoo. It was great....and it made me laugh A LOT. I guess what I'm getting at is HHN needs a clown with a kazoo. House Count: 3 House Rating: 0 kazoos out of 0 giggles. Halloween When I told my dad there was a Michael Myers house, he asked how are they going to turn Austin Powers into a haunt. This is not a joke. Ya smell that? It's the House of the Year. WHAT A GREAT HOUSE. Another IP house knocks in out of the park. Everything about this was great. The FACADE?! GREAT. That projection was awesome. I'd love to see more of that kind of stuff. I also wish that they used the projection stuff for the Silent Hill house when we go into the otherworld, BUT THAT'S LIKE 2 YEARS TOO LATE. But seriously, it was great. Favorite scenes? The garage scene. I flipped out when I saw that. The lady in there did a fantastic job and really sold that kill. The kitchen scene was also fantastic, really amazing stuff going on in there. The dark strobe room with the Myers everywhere. Again, super effective. My snorlax was out. And then the little nod to Halloween 3 with the trick 'r treaters in the backyard. Awesome stuff. That little sport behind the fence gave me a scare. I, however, did not call him a little sport. I called him another S word. No, not a sword. An S WORD. My biggest complaint? THIS HOUSE SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN A SOUNDSTAGE. Can you imagine the amount of amazing things if this were in the parade building or a soundstage? It would have been AMAZING. As it is though, the house is great. I just wish that From Dusk till Dawn and Halloween had switched places. I'm not gonna cry about it. What can you do, cry ab---*sniff*, excuse me. Everybody here is on point. I hate to see this house go. House Count - 4 House Rating: 1 John Carpenter out of 0 Rob Zombies (seriously, your Halloween SUCKS, Robert Cummings) Dollhouse of the Damned Barbie and Ken's vacation crack house. Buy now for only $59.99. Comes with a rusted Volkswagon Beetle and used syringe! It was a tough call. This is right up there for House of the Year. It honestly just depends how I'm feeling on the night. Everybody in this house fires on all...engine parts. (I honestly can't remember the saying right now) The facade is great! Simple, yet very well executed. You go into the house with a pretty good setup. The Raggedy Anne lady was pretty---RAWRRRR. What was that?! OH. MY. GOD. Aren't you the most precious little monster ever? You're so tiny, and made of burlap. You are the cutest thing on the planet. I'm sorry, you can say you're going to skin me alive and I'll just be giggling because you are so effing cute. I want to keep you in my pocket and feed you skittles. I want to hug you until your stuffing comes out. OOOH. So precious. Ahem. I mean...I'm a man. I need to step back into From Dusk til Dawn and see Salma. Okay. Manhood back. Let's go. The baby room was..smelly. A pretty good gag (pun intended) with the crib, too. Moving on, pretty neat stuff going on here, although slightly generic doll-y thing. That is until you hit that ballerina room. Let me say this, the ballerina as soon as you enter, with the slit-throat? Scareactor of the year for that house. Both casts, absolutely killing it! Amazing stuff going on there. The mirror gag was great, too. This room will forever be one of my favorite rooms in HHN history. Great design and sound, great actors, and great setup. I'm kissing my screen right here ---> <----- for everybody involved. You're welcome. Other things I liked? The bear room and the mummy room. All really good stuff going on here. The finale was decently set up, too. Really, no complaints about this house. One of the best houses in HHN history, and like I said earlier, HotY quality, just depends on the mood I'm in. I could go through Dollhouse and Halloween everynight and would say this years HHN was great. That says a lot. CYLINDER. THAT'S THE SAYING. Firing on all cylinders. House Count - 4 House Rating - 1 ADORBZ BURLAP MONSTER out of JUST GIVE ME THAT BURLAP MONSTER. Roanoke: Cannibal Colony uh...meat? You guys have this house all wrong. They're not saying "MEAT"...like "oh you're meat, I want to eat you"...they're saying "MEET." As in "Hello. Nice to MEET you, can I show you to my house which is currently on fire?" This house was bottom-o-the-list for the first couple of runs. Errybody was going bananas over this house and I didn't really get it. The sets were nice, although very dark. The scares were basically non-existent, and everybody said MEAT. It just got very old, very fast to me. People eating people...the whole house...nothing really changed. And then something changed after the 3rd of 4th run where everybody was super aggresive. Swiping out and clawing out towards me, still screaming meat, but I finally felt like they were attacking me. Instead of going through a site seeing tour of Roanoke, I was finally being attacked. The finale was pretty neat, with the spirit beasts so high in the sky. BUT. Unfortunately, the house just fell short for me. It's a nice filler house if everything else is packed and you have some time to kill, but ultimately I won't be running to this house. The irony is, I did this house more than any because I really wanted this house to change my mind. House Count - 6 House Rating - 3 cannibals out of 5 pieces of meat wanting to meet you. And there you have it HHN 24. House RANKZ: 1. Halloweeny: Going through this house will be very...hard. 2. Dollhouse of the Danged: Church Edition 3. Pralien vs. Xenator 4. Giggles and Gore, INC: Files for Bankruptcy 5. Drahcoola: I Vant to File your Taxes. 6. From Dusk till Loincloth 7. The Walking Dead: End of the Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine GOES ON FOR MILES. 8. MEATOHMYGODMEAT STREET RANKZ: 1. The Purge: Lindsay Lohan's Highschool Nickname 2. Bayou of Blood: Blood in the Bayou 3. Kool-Aid presents: Maskerade 4. Face/Off: No Nic Cage? NO THANKS. SUPER EXTRA FUNTIME EXTRA AWESOMENESS: BONUS ROUND. You ready? You sure? okay. ARMYOFROBUTT's (I MEAN BOTS!) PRESENTS: Halloween Horror Nights 2014: HOLLYWOOD AW. THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. You're getting a BONUS. I'm going to review HHN: HOLLYWOOD. You're sweating with anticpation. Your lip is quivering with excitement. My first time in Hollywood, and my first review for da west coast. LET'S DO THIS. I had no idea what to expect and I was VERY suprised with what I was given. Everybody I talked to told me to "have fun" and that Hollywood's version is "cute". YEAH, WELL, I had fun, you jerks! The opening scare-amony (I have no idea how to spell scare-amony) was BANGIN' on a trashcan. It was GREAT. The Purger's come out and sing America the Beautiful, which was very haunting. AND THEN THAT SIREN. THAT SIREN CUT IN AND THE ACTORS WENT BLOODY BANANAS. I've never...ever seen anything like this. As soon as the siren hit, and I cannot understate this, they just went CRAZY. Jumping off benches with chainsaws...crawling underneath cars, kicking over trashcans...OH MY GAWD. I was blown away. Fire going off, chainsaws, people running and screaming. I was just so impressed. I wish I could see it again in person. The first house we hit was....DRAHCOOLA. Dracula: Reign of Blood Man, this guys has his hands everywhere. Okay, okay. Copy house. Let's get it out of the way. Queue was 5 minutes on the upperlot and Face/Off wasn't open yet. Let's go. You enter through the cave, which was neat because it was something differ---OH MY GOD. THAT WHITE ALBINO thing from the trailer just attacked my face. Okay, I was not expecting that. Still moving through..what...what in the world? WHAAAAAAT. Somebody being attacked by bats. Seriously, there was a scene where a guy was in a wind-tunnel thing and it looked like he was being attacked by bats. That...is AWESOME. Go into super dark room and OHGEEZUS, BATS ARE ATTACKING ME. THINGS ARE FLYING BY MY LEGS AND TOUCHING ME. I passed out. .......I woke up in some room with Dracula staring at my face. Let's keep going. Scares coming from every turn. Every time you look one way, you turn around and there's another beast in your face. Just truly amazing things going on here. The sets were all great. It reminded me of Vampyre dance club we had in 17. I don't remember the bloody name of it, but where it was in Sting Alley. It was just like that. It was an open area just like Sting Alley and they built a house around it. Totally awesome. Great gags going on here, actors attacking from both sides. In your face, aggresive. OUTSTANDING. It was really cool how it was a completely different house than the one in Orlando. I wish everybody on the east coast could see what the west coast did because it will completely change your mind about this franchise. I wanted to see the film when I left the maze. With all of that being said, I've been going to HHN for 14 years and I have NEVER screamed in a house like I have in Dracula at HHN Hollywood. Truly amazing things going on here. From the sets to the actors, to the costumes...just...amazing. I'm going to say it....HOUSE OF THE YEAR. If there are any actors from HHN that are in this house, give your cast a big hug from me. House Count: 3 House Rating: 1000 bats out of OH MY GOD THEY'RE ON ME. Face/Off: In the Flesh It's time for a...DANCE PARTY. I really didn't know what to expect. I've been through the House of Horrors (RIP) back in February and I wasn't really sure how they would transform it into a Face/Off house. Long story short: they didn't. HAHA. JOKE'S ON YOU....well, me. It was just Face/Off monsters in the pre-existing building. Which isn't a bad thing...I guess I just expected more from that. The costumes were pretty on par with Orlando. Starts off with a bug-room and then it just winds and leads from there with BANGIN' MUSIC IN YOUR FACE. I HOPE YOU LIKE ELECTRONIC MUSIC. BECAUSE WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB. All up in your face. WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB. I'm still cross-eyed from all of the wubbing my body had to go through. MY BONES. MY BONES ARE WUBBING. I wish I had more to say about the house. Pretty forgetable. The finale is full frontal wubbing as it's set up as an Alice room and the Hatter is the DJ. He's the one to blame for the wubbing. WUBWUBWUB. I don't know. I guess this house just wubb'd me the wrong way. House Count: 2 House Rating: WUBWUBWUBWUBout of BUWBUWBUWBUWBUWBUW Clowns 3D Featuring music by a long haired aging dude who wears a top-hat. NO, NOT JOHNNY DEPP. Clowns vs. Clowns. Again, not a funny house. But! The 3D was pretty damn effective. There were some things that really popped here and benefitted the house. Setup a little differently than the Orlando house, this one appears to be an Ice Cream type of warehouse. It smelled great, too. The house was pretty decently long, too. The costumes were great. Some really super big guys in here. Almost like Treaks and Foons. Pretty basic scares, although there was this really awesome setup where they were shocking a clown and when the "power went out" it appeared that his skeleton was popping (I originally wrote pooping, hehehe) through his skin, like a classic cartoon. It was really cool to see it, and the 3D made it even better. There were also some great hallways with mirrors that they would pop out of. Again, the 3D made it even better. There weren't any real...scream monents here, but it was definitely worth the wait just because it was the best 3D house I've been in. You know what I didn't notice? Slash. Slash had 0 impact on this house because it honestly just felt like a generic clown score. I guess they could have slashed him out of the budget. OHBOY. House Count: 1 House Rating: 2 skeletons out of 0 Slash's An American Werewolf in London Yep. Those wolves are still bloody scary. Heeeeeey. I remember this house. I think this was half of my House of the Year last year in Orlando. Glad to see you buddy. I'll just go through The Slaughtered Lamb, say hello to the barkeep (I didn't see him last year) and move along through this forest..OH MY GOD THERE HE IS. HE'S BACK AND HE'S STILL TERRIFYING. Those eyes! Those eyes stare into my soul! Those wolves, man. They really are fantastic. Still just as good. The thing I liked about Hollywood is they played out the story a little more. You seee David attacked by the werewolf , but then a pub-goer comes out and starts shooting at the beast. Pretty effective scares on both sides with the wolf, and then the gun shot. The house scene with the Nazi-Wolves was taken even further. The came out all guns blazing, and you actually see the cross-fire from the guns. It was pretty cool! And then A Nazi comes out and slits David's throat, which, MUAH, I could just kiss you, Nazi-Wolf. All really well done, and the reset time was great as I was able to see it both times, and as soon as we were leaving the room, the scene was going off again. The cool thing, is the entire scene happens at the same time, so you have 4-5 actors playing out a scene from all over the room to a cue. It was really just neat to see, and they probably reset for only 5 seconds. So, kudos there. The transformation scene is still there, still good, and the subway scene was slightly modified, WITH AN ACTUAL TRAIN COMING AFTER YOU. That was awesome. And then the finale played out very similar to our house last year. Hollywood did a great job and could tell they wanted to do their own thing, but not changing it too much, probably because Orlando's was so great. It was nice visting an old friend. But was also kind of new and refreshing. Another house I hate to see go. I would love to see this house return to Orlando. House Count - 2 House Rating - 0 TARDIS' out of 0 Policemen with whimpy whistles. Alien vs. Predator It looks like an...alien invasion (YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH) A completely different experience than the one in Orlando. And let me tell you. HOLY MOLEY. I WAS JUMPING UP AND DOWN by the end up it. No joke. Ask my friends. It looks like to me they were taking a page out of Requiem, which is just a truly awful movie, and went with the neigborhood invasion of Facehuggers. You go into the crashed ship of a Predator which had facehuggers in tubes and OH NO! They escaped. You then go into a neighborhood and see facehuggers all over the townsfolk, which is something I wanted to see in the Orlando house, so +1 on that! You then go into a neighborhood house and see people glued to the walls with the Xenomorph cocoon thing with chestbursters popping out of their chests and tracking your move, which was awesome. By the end of it, you go into a barn a SEE A 20 FOOT TALL QUEEN. THE QUEEN WAS THERE AND IT WAS TERRIFYING. And then it was Christmas, because my full sized Xenomorph ran out of the barn and chased after us... ...let me say that a again. IN ZOOPER ZLOW MOTION. A.... 6 foot tall..... Xenomorph drone....... ran out of a stable door....... and CHASED US towards the Queen. It was...just simply amazing. I was cheering the whole time.I almost cried because I was so happy. It was a dream. A scary dream come true. The house honestly felt more of an Alien spotlight than a Predator. There were Predators...I think...2? But they were both used effectively and provided some awesome scares where the Predator felt like it was attacking the Xenomorph and you literally were caught in the middle. Again, another gripe from Orlando, but these two were atually fighting. The Predators stoof on their own, but like I said..the Xenomorph was the lead singer of this band. Xenomorph puppets were everywhere, although they were a little...stiff. Attacking people, attacking Predators, and attacking other actors. There was a spectacular bedroom scene with a Xeno coming through this window tearing into an actor...it was really gory and gruesome and perfect (even if the Xeno's don't really eat humans, but IDGAF.) Full sized puppets jumping through windows, full sized costumes...and that beautiful Queen. Oh, AvP. You were so good. So gooooooooooooooooooood. So good to me. House Count: 2 House Rating: 1 Queen out of 1 barn. From Dusk till Dawn The Gecko Brothers retired on this one. WOW. So....BORING. I'm honesty trying to remember what happened in this house, but NOTHING is coming to mind. I don't remember my Salma moment. The Gecko's were greeting guests outside of the house. It felt empty.The sets were just...so generic. I wish I could say more, but I honestly can't. They used the Evil Dead gag with the chainsaw. Whoooo. Oh, the barker was pretty funny. House Count: 1 House Rating: 9 Vampires out of 0 scares. The Walking Dead: End of the Line The Line Ends...and then starts up again. Another Walking Dead experience. I'll preface this by saying the setup to get here was pretty awesome. I'm not sure if any of you dudes have been to Hollywood, but the park is set up in a unique way. You have the upper lot, the lower lot, and with the lower lot you have the sets where they actually film things. The lower lot is fantastically huge. So, in order to get to the lower lot houses, aside from Werewolf and Clowns, you had to hike like a mile into the actual sets of Hollywood. The hike is pretty cool because they have Walkers in the line, and then you go into this HUGE tunnel which says go to Terminus, and then once you get out of the tunnel, you're basically staged at, what I assume is Terminus. Walkers are everywhere, and then you proceed into this HUGE city scape with walkers, awesome projections of Walkers in the windows eating folks, and just this level of....cohesiveness I haven't felt in a zone before...because it wasn't really a scarezone...you were just walking to other houses. Anyway, the immersion was there. And once you got to the house, you were pretty amped for what was in store. Unfortunately, the house was pretty average. Started off in the prison, which was great. Super aggresive walkers and scares happening. And I don't remember much after that. Wompasaurus Rex. The sets did look good, but the house just felt short, which makes sense because of the house in Orlando. The house ultimately felt like the first time we had the house in 22, except for that awesome hospital scene (WINK). You went through a department store, and then those cones of earth just like we have. What's with those cones of dirt things? I don't get it. I DON'T GET IT. At the end (of the line), the experience to get here was just great, but then the house let you down. BUT THEN YOU HAD TO GO BACK THROUGH ALL OF THAT TO GET BACK TO THE PARK. And I was hyped again. The Walking Dead felt fun....FUN. Something that I haven't experienced with the Walking Dead yet. So kudos on that. And that's it, dudes. Hollywood really is a great event. There were definitely some short comings, and I'm looking at you From Dusk till Dawn. Really, that was the only lamer of the whole bunch. Some were better than others, but all had some solid moments. I'll make a small note on the streets: KRAMPUS KRAMPUS KRAMPUS KRAMPUS. HOUSE RANKZ: 1. DRAH-COOLA: CAVES OF BATS EATING ME ALIVE. 2. Alien vs. Predator: OHMYGAWDTHERE'STHEQUEEN. 3. An American Werewolf in the Jurassic Park queue 4. Clowns 3D: Slash not Needed 5. Face/Off: [insert John Travolta Joke Here] 6. The Walking Dead: Can I just Walk the Mile to get Here Again? 7. From Dusk till Yawn Street RANKZ: 1. Dark Christmas: Still better than Chanukah 2. The Purge: Time to get Purging 3. The Walking Dead: And I would walk 500 miles... 4. Mask-A-RAID: Disco priest LFR, 40m MC There it is dudes. Sister parks reviewed. If you stuck it out, kudos to you. You deserve a high five. Maybe not from me....? But from somebody. kbye. Note: This review had 2 WoW references. Edited October 25, 2014 by armyofrobots 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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