Instamatic's attempt at writing an HHN review...

[instamatic]

I went on opening night with my boyfriend and mom. We tried FOTL passes for the first time and I have to say I will never do opening night without it again. It was worth every penny for us. We enjoyed having time to take in the event instead of running around only to get stuck in hour or longer wait times.

I'm not really good at the whole rating system thing, so I'm just going to tell you what we did and what we thought of it. Also, I apologize if it's too long.

We were at the front for the opening scaremonies, which was a first for us. We're usually back by the go gos. It was a fun thing to experience but we couldn't really hear any of what was said, so we kind of just went with it and ran with the crowd when the rope was dropped. We went straight to the Eyegores in an attempt to catch a glimpse of Alice. After about a half an hour of watching people being interviewed we saw him. We cheered him on, he waved, we snapped a pic, then he disappeared into the theater and we went along out merry way to the Terror Tram. It was almost dark out so we ambled around the scarezones for a bit until it was dark enough for us to enjoy TT.

TERROR TRAM: INVADED BY THE WALKING DEAD

My boyfriend has been a fan of the graphic novel series for a long time and he got my mom and I into the show, so we were all excited to see what was in store for us. The attraction was a walk on so we opted to save our FOTL usage for later in the night. All I can say about our first run through this years TT is WOW! We had an absolute blast! The first half as we wound our way through Bates Motel and up the gravelly slope of death was fairly yawn worthy. I got a bit startled by a "tree person" as I like to call them, but that was about it. Once we made it to Dale's RV though, things started to get really fun. The actors were on point, the sets were great to look at, and the make up looked cool in the dark. We opted to wait two minutes for the Psycho house photo op and got some fun pictures. The War of the Worlds section blew me away. I was a big fan of the way Walkers were blending in with the crowd by walking paces ahead, then turning around to attack at a given moment. I had a great scare in the last walled section before loading back on the tram. Walkers surrounded me and chased me a little bit. All I saw was walkers so I ran screaming and laughing. Then when I calmed down I turned to talk to my mom only to see every single survivor standing behind me, revving the chainsaws when I had turned completely around. It scared the shit out of me....and I loved it.

Next we went down to the lower lot. We had never been on Jurassic Park in the Dark before so we went on that. I think I expected it to be different than it was, as I didn't realize that some strobes and Guns and Roses at the end were the only changes, but I still had fun. Then we went on Transformers just cause we had FOTL and we could skip the 65 minute wait. Same thing with the Mummy and skipping that 30 minute wait. Finally we made our way to Silent Hill, which was the first time we truly appreciated our FOTL since the line was over an hour long.

WELCOME TO SILENT HILL

My only knoweledge of the SH franchise is watching the movie, which I found to have neat elements but overall it was boring and went on forever. My mom and boyfriend had no familiarity with it what so ever, so we all expected to not think much of this maze. We actually ended up enjoying it alot. We got a poster from the mailman after giving him the password, which was fun because the GP was interested in how I knew about it, so thanks HNN. I didn't get scared or even startled once in this maze. I was a bit freaked out by the god awful noise that no armed, all skin and ribs creature made at me. It was the worst noise in the world and it gave me chills, so kudos to him/her. The shit smell in the bathroom was cringeworthy, and the nurses played their part well. Overall, I loved looking at the creatures and sets in this maze, but it just didn't do it for me in the scare department.

Then we moved on across the way to Texas Chainsaw, again loving that we could pass up the 80 minute line.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE SAW IS THE LAW

Dumb name, AMAZING maze. I haven't read alot of reviews yet so I don't know what kind of reaction it's getting, but it was my favorite of the night. As we were walking towards the house we saw four different girls leaving the house crying and breathing ridiculously heavy, so we knew it was going to be good. I got really lucky in that I got every scare in every room. I honestly can't say much for the set design as I spent this whole maze screaming and jumping away from Leatherface and family. I remember alot of animal hides, alot of blue flashing lights, and the dinner scene. I only remember the dinner scene cause grandpa got real flirty with me and it cracked me up so much that I forgot it was a distraction tactic that left me terrified when Leatherface came at me. This maze was alot different than how I remember TCM:BIB being, but it was still on par and I loved it just as much if not more!

SILENT HILL SCAREZONE

Boring. Lacking. Sirens were cool. That's about it.

At this point it was about 10:30pm so we made our way back up to do TT again, this time using our pass. It was lame the second time around. I don't know what happened but it seeemed like all the actors were on break. It was slightly disappointing, but we had such a great time the first time around that we weren't upset about it. We went to rest our feet at Bill and Ted's.

BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT HALLOWEEN ADVENTURE

I never have been a fan of this show, but I really enjoyed it this year. The storyline was fun, the jokes were clever and actually funny this year, and I liked the references to the B & T films. I could've done without the musical numbers, but that's personal preference. It was way better than the Hanging Games we saw at Knott's the following night, but that's for a different review. I'd give this years show a thumbs up!

We were still feeling a bit lazy and it started getting chilly so we grabbed some hot drinks and sat in Witches and watched the actors work their magic. When we were done with our drinks we went to finish off the rest of the mazes we hadn't seen. We started with Alice Cooper Goes to Hell in 3D.

Alice Cooper Goes to Hell in 3D

I was excited to see this maze as I love Alice and heard great things about the 3D. I have to say I was disappointed in the 3D. While my mom thought it looked really good, I couldn't see anything but blurred color walking with my 3D glasses on. I took my glasses off once I got to Eve on the bridge because I couldn't take it anymore. I liked this maze. It wasn't scary and I didn't utilize it's featured technology, but it was fun. It was colorful but dark, sinister but funny. It was a good time.

La Llorona: La Cazadora de los Niños

I never made it into last year's version of La Llorona, so I had no idea what to expect. I really liked this maze alot. I got startled in it only once, but it was superbly creepy and it left me feeling quite uneasy. I liked that alot more than just getting scared, laughing it off and moving on. I'm not hispanic so I didn't grow up with this legend, but by just knowing the basics and experiencing Universal's spin on it, I can understand how La Llorona and her legend terrifies children. It was a maze well executed in design and spirit. The uneasy feeling stuck with me, and I really liked that I was able to be affected in that manner.

THE WALKING DEAD: DEAD INSIDE

Let me take a second to point out how extremely unorganized some of the queues were when it came to FOTL. This maze in particular had the A star sign with an arrow pointed at the queue, so we went in and ended up at an exit somehow, so we went back and the guy working the line told us we had to go on the opposite end of the maze and enter by the Flintstones midway. Then when we got in the right place the guy who scanned our tickets led our group right past the entrance of the maze and we ended up in a break room watching walkers drink coffee and water...so the start to this maze wasn't exactly terrific FINALLY we ended up where we needed to be and made our way into the maze. While I enjoyed the sets and make up in this maze, it didn't live up to my expectations. I was waiting for this house to blow me away and it just didn't. I liked the nods to the show, such as bicylcle girl and the well zombie. The scares weren't there and Hershel's barn scene was particularly disappointing. It wasn't a bad maze, but it wasn't fanastic either. My boyfriend actually really loved it. It was his favorite of the night. Maybe I was just irritated that it took us 10 minutes to get in the damn thing because we were led in the wrong direction again and again

UNIVERSAL MONSTERS REMIX

I wasted enough time going through this horrible house, so I won't waste any time reviewing it.

Overall we had a great night filled with laughter, screams, and great company. We got to see everything and because we weren't stuck in lines all night we had time to walk around and enoy taking in the atmosfear.

My list of the event from best to worst is:

-Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Saw is the Law

-Terror Tram: Invaded by the Walking Dead

-La Llorona: La Cazadora de los Niños

-Welcome to Silent Hill

-The Walking Dead: Dead Inside

-Alice Cooper Goes to Hell in 3D

-Universal Monsters Remix

Edited September 24, 2012 by instamatic

[DTH316]

I'm glad TCM is getting some love, it was truly a great maze that I think is being overlooked by a few "I've seen this before!" elitists. I wouldn't say it's better than the 07/08 version but it was definitely warranted to be made as it proved with how unique it could be on its own.

And good to see another UMR hater. If we continue to give that maze scathing reviews, hopefully they'll never waste their resources and give us something that crappy ever again.

[Trevler]

At this point it was about 10:30pm so we made our way back up to do TT again, this time using our pass. It was lame the second time around. I don't know what happened but it seeemed like all the actors were on break. It was slightly disappointing, but we had such a great time the first time around that we weren't upset about it. We went to rest our feet at Bill and Ted's.

I was totally on break then. That must be it!

[AsylumSB]

Good review, Instamatic! I liked that you spent some time admiring a scarezone (Witches). With so much going on, sometimes people miss out on enjoying the ambiance of the event. And........you know you wanted to like Universal Monsters, come on just admit it! Don't let DTH influence you, Ha Ha.

[instamatic]

^I did WANT to like it. I went in to it ready to give it a fair chance, but it sucked They didn't change anything really since the last time I had been in HOH. The music didn't match the atmosphere (if you can call flashing disco lights followed by complete darkness atmosphere) and the characters looked lame. DJ Franky looked even worse than his concept art. I'm sure there's an audience for this maze, but it just didn't work for me personally.

I was totally on break then. That must be it!

Why'd you leave me hanging man? It's all your fault!

[Grindhousehero13]

great review!!!!

Im starting to noctice a trend with the different sides on the whole UMR issue.

[Ridesandstuff]

Very nice review I have to disagree with you about the UMR costumes though. To me they looked fine. A little pissed that they didnt have a Gill man character though.

[Hauntfan]

I'm glad TCM is getting some love, it was truly a great maze that I think is being overlooked by a few "I've seen this before!" elitists. I wouldn't say it's better than the 07/08 version but it was definitely warranted to be made as it proved with how unique it could be on its own.

And good to see another UMR hater. If we continue to give that maze scathing reviews, hopefully they'll never waste their resources and give us something that crappy ever again.

Is there 3 of us now? You, me and Instamatic, right? Stand strong, our opinions can change this event! Buahahahahah

Is it possible that TCM:BIB is held on such a high pedestal because of history making it seem more intense that not a lot of people can get behind TCM:TSITL? I wouldn't know because I didn't experience BIB, but it is a psychological possibility...

[DTH316]

I think it's possible people psychologically just don't want to give TSITL a chance. As a former psych major, I can tell you things like that happen all the time and usually for no good reason.

[Hauntfan]

^I thought it might be that... too bad too. TCM:TSITL is a great maze when timed right, but it never can pass the ceiling set by BIB, for reasons that are only explained as giving BIB mythological standards that TSITL can never meet. Damn shame...

[DTH316]

I wouldn't say BIB's standards are mythological haha they've very easily been explained in full detail as to why they were great...

But the one major difference between BIB and TSITL is tone: it FELT scary to even go into the BIB maze. And every room going through, there was the biggest essence of dread. And every time a scare happened, you damn near felt you were going to be MURDERED.

As much as I like TSITL, the tone of the maze just wasn't really all that scary. I wasn't scared until the scares happened (or when I was blinded by the light going outside to the gas station and couldn't see because of the fog lol).

[Grindhousehero13]

I agree with DTH in BIB you realy did feel dread thats the only maze in my HHN career that ever felt like "Im realy scared to go in here, I dont wanna go in there" at the facade it realy did take all your courage to head in and afterwards like DTH said you did have the sense of impendning doom the whole time.

[DTH316]

And I also want to add, that when you exited the maze, you felt changed. haha Whether that be a changed man or in need of a change of underwear, I'll leave to your imagination. I think BiB is the only maze to ever make me feel that way.

[Mr.HHN]

I hope TCM is the best maze cant wait to check it out. Also good review Instamatic

[instamatic]

BiB was more dreadful, but TSITL held it's own. It did it's job of scaring the crap out of me, and it's the only maze of the night that I saw people leaving in tears. I didn't mention this in the review, but the girl in front of me left the house three rooms in to it. She took a wrong turn and the blackout was like "Go this way m'am." and she was like "No, I have to get out of here. I'm too scared to see the rest. I want out of here." So the blackout escorted her out. The pause caused a huge gap between me and the couple in front of her, and I think that added to the scare. I was the first to enter a room and I was alone pretty much because my mom and boyfriend were hanging back.