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My "So-Late-It-Probably-Shouldn't-Have-Been-Written" Review

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Yeah, I know this is really late (February isn't exactly the time to be posting a review of an event that happened in October). But, regardless, I really wanted to write this review for a couple of reasons: 1) I'm suffering through a MASSIVE HHN withdrawal, and I need something to keep me occupied before I go INSANE. 2) I've been thinking about doing full reviews of ALL the years that I went (ever since 2005). If anyone would be interested in reading them, please tell me. 3) For the most part, I'm just doing this for fun, as I like reviewing different things (HHN, Movies, Books, ect).

I should start out by saying this: I am the quintessence of a scaredy cat. And even though I go into every house and love the event, I will admit that I DO get scared very easily, so my opinion may differ from yours, because you are possibly braver than I am. But, hey, these are just opinions, right?

I'll start with reviewing the scare zones, then make my way down to the houses and main event overall. I'll also be reviewing all of the houses in order of the ones that I went into first. So, without any further distraction, here is my review!

Scare Zones

7- ....Wow, and I thought this was going to be the worst scare zone out of them all! The reason that I thought that was because, when I first saw it announced on the HHN website, I got the general gist of what it was about (the seven deadly sins as women), but I didn't know how it was going to work out, or if it was going to be scary at all.

But, the minute I walked into this scare zone, the mood for the night was immediantly set, as it was still sunny out. The creepy choir version of "The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson that played while the seven temptresses slowly posed while their minions were lurking around from every direction. Just from this point in time, I already thought that this was going to be one of the more memorable scare zones this year.

Then night began to settle in, and the scare zone was a WHOLE different story. The music now switched to the original, Marilyn Manson version, the sins were in full effect, dancing seductively on their sets, and their minions were on top of their game. I would say that this scare zone had the best actors, because everytime I went through here, I got at least two or three genuine scares. And, yes, while it is a bit short (as every scare zone is this year, but whe'll get to that in a little while), the scare actors make this one up for me. Bravo to anyone who worked in that zone. I give 7 an 9/10.

Grown Evil- I don't really get why a lot of people didn't like this, because I thought that it was pretty cool. I thought that it did what it set out to do very well, which was to give people a creepy atmosphere while giving the occasional scare or two. And with it's chilling lighting and it's very well designed costumes, I thought that Grown Evil gave me what I was asking for: a case of the heebee jeebees. And while there wasn't that many scares here, I won't lie and say that I didn't get scared. Because I did. I thought that the actors were into it, so I got into it. And personally, that's what I ask in a scare zone the most. I give Grown Evil a 8/10, mostly because I didn't get THAT scared there that I would give it a higher score.

Canyon of Dark Souls- I think that if this scare zone had one or two more people in it, while expanding the area it was in, I think that this would have been WAY better than it was for me. But, sadly, it wasn't. I thought that the fire effects were very well done, and I thought that the canyon concept was very cool, it just didn't play out that well to me. Although the set-up skeletons that were huge and nice to look up at, I just didn't think there was that much to it. Sure, I got frightened once, and I saw many other people getting scared there, but personally, I didn't get scared myself. I give Canyon of Dark Souls a 6/10.

Your Luck Has Run Out- I'm almost scared to review this. Because when people see my score, they're going to wonder why I gave it a higher score than others have given it. And yes, I do admit, the scare zone has some major flaws. First, the masks. If you've been in this scare zone, or at LEAST seen a review on it, then you'll know what I'm talking about. The masks that the "ravaged" Lady Lucks wear are Wal-Mart level looking. I actually think that's where A&D got the masks, they're that bad. Second, the zone is short. I mean, I could go at a turtle's pace through this zone and it still would not have taken me less than a minute to get through this zone.

So, at this point, you're probably thinking, "Well, why DON'T you hate this zone, then?". Well, like before I have my reasons. The first one being pretty simple: My dad. My dad actually loved this scarezone. He thought it was really cool how it was set up in the new york alley-way, and how all of the beautiful Lucks were on the fire escapes. I think he overall liked that it was in the New York area, which is his favorite place in Universal. So, when I look at it through his eyes, in a way, I can see what he's thinking and I can agree with him. Also, the fact that they were playing Frank Sinatra there bumps up the points just on that, since I'm a Sinatra fan.

Like I said, I'm kinda scared to give my rating for this, since I know some people will be confused, or possibly even mad. But, I am known to like some of the supposed "bad" things that HHN has put out (personally, I really dug The Orfanage). And you guys know that this is just my opinion, right? I give Your Luck Has Run Out a (oh dear here it comes) 7/10. DON'T HURT ME!

Acid Assault- This was my most anticipated scare zone this year, and I can't say that it let me down. The crumbling building effect, like it has been said before, is awesome, and the sound effects for the BOOM that the buildings make was also a nice touch. I thought that all of the scare actors there were really into it, and how they were dressed, in my opinion, was the coolest thing about it. Their apocalyptic/homeless look was great, and it made me think of my hometown, Yonkers, if IT was suffering from Acid rain.

Also, I should say that the scare actor that was in a wheelchair may have gotten the best scare out of me of the whole event! I was looking to see where my dad might have gone off to (turns out he made a sprint towards the Monsters Cafe). Then, when I turned around, I saw something only in the corner of my eye. When I looked around, I saw the actor scream at me and whiz right on by me. My heart sank into my stomach and I could barely scream! Just for that alone, I give Acid Assault a 9/10. Kudos to whoever that was!

Nightmaze- .....In a way, Nightmaze sort of puzzles me. It's in no way bad, but it's not really all that good. The sound effects were startling, but everything else just felt sort of, well, bland. Which is sad, because the idea of the zone sounds really cool. But, the execution, with fences and all, felt sort of weak. I will say, however, that I had a really cool actor interaction here. I was walking down one pathway, when an actor closed a fence in on me and blocked my way out. I was there for probably 15 seconds trying to find a way out, while the guy was blocking my path! Again, kudos to that guy, because that's what made the scare zone for me. Other than that, I give Nightmaze a 6/10.

As you may have noticed, a re-occuring complaint about the scare zones with me (and lots of other HHN fans) is that the scare zones were WAY too short. I remember being inside the scare zones, enjoying myself, and then suddenly, I'm exiting the scare zone. RIGHT after I just entered it. I've heard this is due to budget cuts, and I really hope that this is just a one-year thing.

And now, it's time for the main event! It's time to review all of the houses! Let me just start off by saying that, like last year, I thought that every house this year was good. Great designs, great actors, great scares. Overall, just a great year for houses! So, let's get started!

HOUSES

Winter's Night: Haunting at Hawthorne Cemetary- Let me just start this off with something that, pretty much, everyone has said: The facade and the sets in this house are nothing less than beautiful. The painstaking detail that went into every corner of this house is just amazing. The huge gate that waits at the beginning of the house is stellar, while the inside, gothic rooms are stunning. Also, the cold temperture set in the house was a very nice touch to the winter feel of it. And while some of the scares were kind of far and in-between (pardon the pun....if there is one), I will say that when I got scared, I got SCARED. As in, actually shrieking. Overall, very nice house with maybe a bit of a disappointing ending. But still, great house. I give Winter's Night a 8/10. And, before I go on, can anyone tell me what the smell is when you first enter the house? Is it a forest smell? A winter smell? WHAT IS IT?!?!

Nightingales; Blood Prey- I think that if it wasn't for another house (which I'll get to in a while), this one would have been my favorite. And that should have come as no surprise, seeing as how it seems to be everyone's favorite. Which, again, isn't shocking, because the house is terrifying! The noises of bombs falling with gunshots and screams in the mix while the "Nightingales" coming at you in every direction makes for an experience that is no less tense and terrifying. I don't think that there have been this callabor of great acting mixed with scares since Dead Exposure. Mix that in with some gruesome scenes involving some "hungry" nightingales with effects that make you want to run for the exit (in a good way), you have a good ol' bloody time all over your hands (but be careful, that may be Clark going in-between your fingernails). I give Nightingales a 9/10.

The Thing- I'm a fan of the original "Thing" from the 80s (even though it's technically a remake) by John Carpenter. The recent prequel....ehh. So when I heard that this was going to be based off of the new prequel, I wasn't that crazy over it. But, I will admit, it did seem to impress me. I got scared a handfull of times everytime I went through. The costumes were insane and looked as if the alien-like things were actually real and coming after you. The room with the shotgun in it was probably the one that I got scared in the most (probably because gunshots scare the hell out of me). I will admit, though, that the sets do get a bit repetitive at points, and I didn't see a lot of actors in the house the first two times going in. But, I guess the sets being repetitive is probably the point, seeing as how that your in a arctic base. Still, I would have to say that I give The Thing a 7/10.

H.R. Bloodengutz presents: Holidays of Horror- I'll admit, I'm a huge sucker for the "comedy" houses that HHN have each year. I can't say that I haven't disliked a single one yet. Now, with that being said, I'm always skeptical when it comes to the idea of mixing comedy with horror. Before delving into these type of houses, I always wonder if they'll keep the comedy-horror element at a fair balance between the two, or just pick one side and go with it. I will say, though, that I think this house is the perfect balance between the two. The rooms in this house make you laugh, but the scare actors here make you scream. The easter room is probably the best example, with funny looking decor to distract you from the dreaded FEASTER BUNNY! And H.R. Bloodengutz is an overall awesome character, bringing the elvira comedy to the house. 2012 icon? One could only hope. I give H.R. Bloodengutz a 9/10. I would definitely love to see H.R. make another appearance down the road of HHN future.

Saws n' Steam: Into the Machine- I like how HHN is starting a steam-punk branch with their various houses and scare zones. And when I heard that Saws n Steam was being turned into a house this year, I got really excited. Not only did the concept sound great, but the idea of turning a scare zone into a house seemed very appealing to me. And for the most part, this house did not disappoint. I thought that the on-going gore gags throughout the house were awesome (the guts and body parts in the fish tank and the blood waterfall near the end were perfect examples), as well as the elites, the chainsaw-weilding leaders of the Horizon. By the way, I love the theme of the house, as the Horizon makes me think of something out of a dystopian future, like Mad Max. I will say though that, like The Thing, the first few times I went through, there weren't many actors there. And there isn't very much of an "end" to the house as I thought there was going to be. But still, everytime I got scared, they got me good. I give Saws n Steam a 8/10.

Nevermore: Madness of Poe- Oh boy, oh boy. I might as well say that this house is probably in my top five (maybe even THREE) favorite haunted houses of ALL TIME. And yes, I think this has to be due to the fact that I am a HUGE fan of Edgar Allen Poe's work. I have read almost ALL of his short stories and poems. So, when I heard that a house based entirely off of Poe's work was announced for this year, I was more than just excited, I was JUBILATED. Oh, the possibilities, the story-themed rooms, THE MADNESS. This was my most anticipated house for the year. And I will say that it went ABOVE and BEYOND my expectations.

Every room in this house is excellent and full of detail. The Tell Tale Heart room is probably where I got scared the most, seeing as how the same scare actor got me TWICE. It was the old man with the vulture eye, and he came at me through a window when I first stepped into the room. Even when I thought I was over with that room, he came at me through ANOTHER portrait and came right into my face. Seriously, that actor has some major chops. But then again, EVERY room in this house scared me. I screamed so much in this house that it made all the other houses this year (with maybe the exception of Nightingales) pale in comparison. Now, if we can only get an H.P. Lovecraft house here, THEN my life will be complete. I give Nevermore a 10/10. Yep, you heard me. 10. Out. Of. 10.

The In-Between- I'll be one of the few to say that I haven't really enjoyed any of the 3-D houses at HHN so far. The glasses are made so akwardly for me that I can barely keep them on my face. And when I do have them on, the effects are more disorienting than eye-popping. I will say though that this house that this house does have some cool, trippy effects, and I'd be lying if I say I didn't get a scare here and there, which is creditable. I also love the vortex that was in the beginning of the house (seriously, that thing should be in EVERY house). I just think that the 3-D didn't work very well (for me at least). And....that's pretty much it. It was pretty good. I give The In-Between a 7/10.

The Forsaken- I thought that this house is a bit underrated. I know that a lot of people like this house, but I also know a lot of people don't. I don't know why, really. The sets are at the same level of Winter's Night (again, in my opinion) for their painstaking detail. Every room is filled with decor from the late-fifteenth century. Even the least-greatest rooms hve some quality to them that make you double-take, while the best rooms make you stare in awe. I also thought that, while the green eyes on the "Forsaken" may have given away some of the actors hiding places, they did add a sense of creepiness to me, as if they were everywhere and there was no way that I could escape them. Add in some cool lightning effects along with an ending that had me screaming like a girl, and you have a satisfying house. I give The Forsaken a 8/10.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: The quickest reviews of the shows at HHN that you will ever see in your life.

I didn't see Bill & Ted this year, as I didn't see it last year. This is mainly due to people telling me that the shows have declined in quality, so I don't bother seeing it. I'd much rather see the houses anyway. And Death Drums....everytime I saw it, I skipped by it. I dunno, I just think it doesn't fit the theme of HHN. But, that's just me.

Overall, I thought that this year was one of my favorites. And while it may have been because I've only been attending since 2005, that doesn't detract from the greatness of some of the houses from this year. I took home a lot of good memories and some terrifying nightmares to boot. And while I think that a lot of people may not like Lady Luck as an icon now, I think she'll be like the storyteller, where people will like her better as the years go on. So, in conclusion, I very much enjoyed this year and am already excited to see what next year brings.

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