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My alternate universe version lineup of Halloween Horror Nights: Sweet 16.

Same as the real Sweet 16, Jack the Clown, the Caretaker, Paolo, and Storyteller combine forces.


Psychoscareapy: Maximum Madness (Soundstage 22) - Same as before.

The Mind of the Director (Soundstage 23) - Instead of being a montage of movies, this would focus on the Director’s “films”, old (the bathtub, the jester) and new. 

Psycho: The Return of Norman Bates (Soundstage in New York) - A proper soundstage is better off for this, as it recreates the Bates Motel as well as the Mansion.

Hotel Hell: Property of Caine Society (Earthquake Queue) - If Jack and Storyteller don’t get their houses back, neither will Albert not Paolo. A cursed hotel in New York is under new ownership by the wicked Albert Caine. Mayhem and cannibalism is afoot.

Dungeon of Terror: Classical Violence (Unspecified Location) - Don’t put anything in the JAWS Queue, without the extra space nothing will work. This would combine all the best elements of the previous Dungeon of Terrors and base it on revamped versions of Universal Classic Monsters.

The Mummy: Secrets of Ancient Egypt (Sprung Tent 2) - Semi-original take on the 1999 classic, not solely focusing on the main villain Imhotep, but a variety of mythological characters like Amut and Sekhmet.

Eddie Presents Disorientorium II (Sprung Tent 1) - Assuming Psycho is not the crazy house in this AU, this will have to do. Considering Eddie’s personality, this is noticeably much nastier than the original version in 2004.


Horror Comes Home (Plaza of the Stars and Hollywood) - Same as year but extended to the entrance of USF. None of the zones in Shrek Alley aside from American Gothic seemed compelling and it looked to be an odd place to put a scarezone in so its cut.

HorrorYork (New York) - The first ever scarezone from 1994 updated and transplanted in the New York area of USF. I was going to put this in Hollywood, but Horror Comes Home works pretty well as a lead in to the Arrival. 

Harvest of the Souls (Garden of Allah) - Not broke, no need to fix.

Midway of the Bizarre (Amity) - I don’t know why they didn’t bring this back in 06.


The Arrival (Mel’s Drive In) - Same but provide a better kill for the Director.

Bill and Ted - Don’t care.

Robosaurus (New York) - With Deadtropolis gone, remove zombie element.

Festival of the Dead - If infeasible as parade, make it a scarezone instead with all the floats.

Sweet 16 Lagoon Show - Keep the opening, but instead of movie clips, this would be like Fantasmic/World of Color and would go by these segments: Opening with birthday cake, Universal Monsters, Frightmares and Screams, Hail Imhotep, Jack’s partyhouse, A Gothic Night with the Caretaker, A Killer Story, Finale with Icons. The Director would host the entire show.

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The festivities begin with a brief slideshow of images of past HORROR NIGHTS events, set to the lively tune of Neil Sedaka’s “Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen”. As the slideshow progresses however, we begin to hear strange laughter and macabre sounds, at first faint but soon grows louder though never overriding the song. As the slideshow ends, a cavalcade of pyrotechnics bursts through the water. Upon the water screens, we hear voices singing “Happy Birthday Halloween Horror Nights” and soon revealed are JACK THE CLOWN, THE CARETAKER, THE DIRECTOR, and THE STORYTELLER, the four ICONS of SWEET 16. As their singing ends, one of the ICONS cut the birthday cake they held, and blood gushed out of the cake as JACK and THE CARETAKER laugh.


On the lagoon, a giant BIRTHDAY CAKE decorated with skeletons rises from the waters, layer by layer. When it dries off, that’s when the fun begins. Fireworks shoot out from the CAKE’S candles into the night sky, cascading with a display of fire.


We proceed with the ones who started it all: DRACULA, THE WOLFMAN, FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER AND THE BRIDE, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, and GILL-MAN. Video imagery based on the classics entertains as the foreboding music from that era fills the air.


We slowly see on the water screens what appears to be a castle gateway. It is in fact a projection of the facade for the original DUNGEON OF TERROR back in 91’. The screen draws closer into the gateway until blackness. Then the spotlight shines upon the macabre DEMON KNIGHT from the 1995 water show atop the BIRTHDAY CAKE. Floats representing SKULLS, DEMONS, and DEATH glide in the waters as DEMON KNIGHT gives a speech about hell and fire, ending it by dousing most of the lagoon in fire.


Something appears to be flying in the air. What is it? When the lights shine on the entity in the sky, it reveals the character EYEGORE, the eyeball-eating entity from 1997. The water screens project floating eyeballs which blink at you, and they soon merge into a white void that POPS with a burst of fireworks. The lights shine on to reveal another physical set- the face from PRIMAL SCREAM. The screaming face unleashes smoke from its mouth, and it flows into the water screens to show footage from past HHN houses, zones, and shows up to 98’.


A ghostly cruise ship ROARS out of the lagoon’s depths, causing a massive splash! Jump on board the S.S. FRIGHTANIC! The huge prop has DANCING ZOMBIES as charmingly elegant but dissonant waltz music plays, with sight gags regarding body parts flaying put eyes.

Unfortunately, the fun is cut short when a horse of SOLDIER MUMMIES show up on the ship and cut down the DANCING ZOMBIES with their weapons. The FRIGHTANIC then sinks into the water with effects simulating small “explosions”. On water screens, hieroglyphics in gold shimmer in and out until on the BIRTHDAY CAKE the mummified priest IMHOTEP arises and performs an Egyptian incantation. More floats decorated with the taste of Egypt arrive on scene, some with dancers in garb reflecting Egyptian creatures and deities, but some seemingly blank. What are they?

Answers are delivered when IMHOTEP descends into the CAKE itself and from the floats arrive giant versions of horror villains- a pre-regenerative IMHOTEP, the knife wielding and decaying eyeless corpse of MOTHER BATES, and the scar-faced CHUCKY.




The lights dim, and we hear sinister laughter. The sound of POP GOES THE WEASEL plays and after the end of it, JACK THE CLOWN jump scares us with a “Boo!” and cackles. “It’s time to think outside of the box!” JACK says. The lights go off with colorful beams, fountains of water burst with glee, and the BIRTHDAY CAKE emits more fireworks as the water screens portray bizarre imagery revolving around clowns, puppets and the circus.


THE CARETAKER’S face looms over the lagoon. Morbid funeral organ music plays as THE CARETAKER gives a speech about dissection, death, and the nature of evil.


In the water screens, familiar visuals play out- a jester forced to smile via hooks THE DIRECTOR impaled on his cheeks, and a man tied to the bathtub. These are in fact the TV ads broadcast in the air back in 2003. Here however we get to see the grisly aftermath of those “films”- the hooks pull input with such tremendous force that they rip open his face, and a charred electrocuted corpse rises in the bathtub.


Our final ICON of the evening THE STORYTELLER projects herself on the BIRTHDAY CAKE and opens a book. “Once upon a time…” Huge bursts of fire reveal a gnarled throne of branches of metal and bark, the GOREWOOD THRONE. As the STIRYTELLER narrates, a SACRIFICE VICTIM is led to the altar where the TERRA QUEEN resides. With the Blade, the QUEEN cuts open the human bit by bit, their blood flourishing down into the roots. A projection simulates the blood flowing upward the throne and it’s branches.


Edited by pumpkinbot343
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