armyofrobots

Honestly, I'm more of an avenue type of robot. I like my streets like I like my data upload disk: 01000010 01101100 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01101100 01101111 01101110 01100111

Chainsaws don't scare me, but I don't have a strong hate of them like you. By your rules of "loud and lazy", you should hate a majority of HHN: loud noises in a variety of places followed by a jump scare. It happens in every house. The Forsaken had the knife "snikt" sound, the mighty oak had a giant bellowing roar, the ravens had their crowing, drop windows, screams, men gnashing their teeth, babies crying, women weeping, etc etc. There's no difference between any of these scares, but for some reason you loathe chainsaws. I don't consider chainsaws lazy or cheap at all. There are so many other roles this year that had a loud noise followed by an actor running out and doing it all over again. So, sir, I turn it on you: Why do you hate chainsaws so much? I feel like I should throw a pie to make it not so serious.

I'm glad you guys enjoyed my review. People are asking me to review the streets, but I don't think I have the mental capacity to do so. It's harder (that's what she said) to review streets, just due to the fact that they're not...houses? I don't know. I just can't sit there and say "se7en was good. It was scary" without sounding like "I like feeling paper when it comes out of the copier. It is warm." or "Ants don't like magnifying glasses." You see, it sounds like I'm a little....slow. Also, congrats to Se7en and The In-Between/The Forsaken to your respected awards.

Operations aren't body guards nor can they prevent anybody from getting injured.

It's because Cleaver was the best thing to happen. Ever. The Z stands for MUSTARD!

Everybody knows the best idea for a house to street conversion is Cleaver. Having police and others in those masks grabbing victims and dragging them away to go into Meetz Meatz is a dream. However, I still stand by my statement.

I'll fight anybody who says I need to learn how to scare with a saw. ANYBODY. ;)

Congratulations to 7. Well deserved.

HHN 21. It’s been a good run. Lady Luck, in my opinion, was a great Icon, despite some flack she’s been receiving from others. The web-site was a great success; the big reveal got you excited and the games were both annoying and fun. They kept you wanting to come back on an hourly basis to see what changed or just to see if you could complete the games that were an extra annoyance. The marketing team really stepped up the game with the Twitter tweets and the Facebook…face booking. I was really excited to visit the event and see everything and I feel overall, the event really delivered. Also, as a note, I don’t give “numbered ratings.“ I feel “7/10” or “10/10” is very skewed to the year and it shouldn‘t. A house shouldn’t get a 10/10 just because it was your favorite house. Hey, I like things too, but it doesn’t get 10/10 because it’s my favorite. People just throw around a 10/10 like it’s candy. WELL IT’S NOT, IT HAS FEELINGS TOO. /rant. Spoilers, fun and nonsense await you, my little ponies: New paragraph. The Forsaken Green water monsters vs. Spaniards. Or are the water monsters from Spain too? I didn’t really know what to expect when walking into the house. There wasn’t much of a façade, even less than last year. But last year seemed to be the ultimate façade because it was a warehouse, IT ONLY MAKES SENSE. Anywhoo, the house was alright. That’s my review. Okay. It’s not. The sets were beautiful. I remember walking through with the lights on and it I was blown away by the sets. The level of detail was great and the courtyard scene was fantastic. The ship portion at the end was great and I thought the overall story of the house was pretty alright. The scares were really hit or miss. I remember joking that the very first actor you see just seemed annoyed that he was stuck in the cell, “well, I could probably squeeze through that door, but… the work. I’ll just stay here.” I guess they were supposed to speak Spanish, so naturally prisoners stuck in a war between themselves and water monsters would scream “QUESO!!” right? “BANYO” isn’t a good way to set the tone, unless of course this is a war between Janitors in a Mexican school, in which case, kudos, you’re doing a great job. Alas, maybe next year; I can’t wait for “El Escuela.” The actual “forsaken” were okay. I just found myself bored with most of the house. The effects were great and as I mentioned earlier, the sets were fantastic, the scares were just lacking. The only person who startled me was the person before the chapel and it was on a pretty consistent basis. Hey, you‘re ACTUALLY doing your job. Go tell the people in the first two rooms how to set a “tone” and develop “plot.” Because without plot, all we have is a Michael Bay film…wait. Maybe they DO know what they’re doing. Michael Bay makes millions. I’m on to you, conquistadors. House count - 5 The In-Between College kids who play with boards games… and Warcraft II. Guess which one messed up your life? My LEAST anticipated house ended up doing very well. I also walked through with the lights on and thought it was instant budget house, and I was fortunately proven wrong. I love the return of the floor slider, unfortunately I only saw the actor… 0 times. Which is almost as many times as I saw him in Legendary Truth. The rooms were executed very nicely and the images from the 3D glasses were very vibrant and colorful. I especially loved seeing the Warcraft II strategy guide in the finale. I often got very disoriented and ran into a few walls, which is always a plus. I feel the actors did very well and the costumes looked great. Some of them were very aggressive and in your face and with the lighting, you didn’t notice them right away. I complained about techno music in Hades last year, but this time around I sat back and accepted it. These damn kids and their computer musics. No big gripes, honestly. I regret driving home in those 3D glasses. I hit a dog and threw up. House count - 2 Nevermore: The Madness of Poe You kids like rum? You too can marry your underage cousin and earn a salary of $4 The buzz about this house was astronomical. Everybody was all jazzed about this house and I was pretty excited about this myself. I was original Ops Lead in this house, but due to circumstances out of my control, I was pulled from doing so. I put a lot of time into this house, specifically designing the queue system and placing the spotters in the house. I had a lot invested into this house. I remember walking through and being blown away by the sets. The actors and the sounds and lighting made is SO much better. One of my favorite rooms in the history of HHN is the Telltale Heart room. The sound of the heart beating, the muttering of Poe, the scare actor in the room, absolutely amazing. Everything after that didn’t disappoint either. I loved deteriorating mind of Poe progressively through the house, although hearing a Poe yell “THE MADNESS, THE MADNESS” was a little more than cheese. But I guess if giant birds, zombies, dead women and that mustache was on my face/in my head, I‘d probably be shouting “MADNESS“ as well. The finale was great and wrapped up the house perfectly. It was going all crazy. THE MADNESS. House count - 9 Saws n Steam: Into the Machine It’s not Rapture. It doesn’t look like Rapture. It’s a completely different entity than anything relating to Rapture. Yeah, sure Hamburgers and Hotdogs are the same, but not really. I wasn’t a big fan of Saws ‘n Steam in 2010. I felt it was a pretty okay street with a pretty okay story. When I heard it was being evolved into a house with most (if not all of the original actors) I was slightly intrigued, but kept my expectations low. I’m glad I did because I ended up enjoying the house. Best use of the Jaws queue since 2007, although I don’t feel it’s better than 2007 as Jason was damn near perfect. The setting was fantastic. I loved seeing all the little machines and victims being sucked into machines and people have their meat cut off of them. Tasty. Hey! Is that a fish tan-- OH NO, THAT’S AN EYEBALL. There’s no fish at all! You have a shortage of resources? Well, you have a giant tanks full of water. Take out the guts, you might have something worth looking into there. There were quite a few of distractions, but no scares. So spotty. A lot of stare and glare as well. I don’t get uncomfortable from people staring at me, I’d much rather be startled. Also, I understand WHY it happened, but there should have been MORE; there was a serious lack of SAWS. I feel the steam greatly outweighed the saws. Unfortunately steam isn’t scary. It’s warm. And moist. But saws are slightly more ominous than steam. Water, water, water and scene. We basically have Leave it to Cleaver 2, minus the humor and originality. Not saying it’s bad, but just under whelming. Much like the street. House count - 5 H.R. Bloodengutz Presents: Home for the Holidays H.R Bloodengutz for Icon, 2012 LOVE LOVE LOVE. My favorite house of the year. Humor, great scaring, amazing queue video, I loved everything about this house, minus a few nitpicks. I love the character of H.R. and I love that Russell from Horror Make-Up got a little bit of time to shine during the event. The actor in the first scene does some great improv and I love that he interacts with the crowd. I also love that red button and getting H.R. to hit it. The little quirky names of the films are great. I especially love the Presidents Day and Valentines Day titles. Amazingly funny. The actors here really get into their roles, I love zombie Lincoln (he needs to get reelected like he needs a hole in his head) and Washington (wooden teeth? Talk to Martha). I love the leprechauns in St. Patrick’s Day are hilarious, “I PEE GREEN”, “want to taste MY rainbow?” Good stuff. The Disaster house is really putting out quality houses ever since 2007 and this is no exception. I’m glad this house is as good as it was. No jokes here because the house makes its own. House of the Year. House count - 10+ (more than I can remember) The Thing Not Assimilation, despite what the shirt says Really excited for the house. And it turned out pretty okay. Nowhere as good as 2007, in my opinion. I feel Assimilation was better in every way, despite the smaller budget. I loved seeing the Thule station and how cold it was on the set. I noticed some reused props from 2007, which doesn’t bother me any. I felt this house told you the story, rather than involved you in the story. You were seeing the alien and the actors interact with each other: Ramona Flowers hiding behind cans of yams (I think they were yams. Swedish yams) talking to herself and getting ready to go Ice Cube when that alien pops out; The barber that doesn’t know how to shave his neck. Two scenes I feel really go out and show the humanity side of this house. The puppets were GREAT. Like Tony the Tiger great. I loved the shotgun scene with the block of ice. That looked FANTASTIC. And the gun was loud. There was also a great scare in there, who consistently got me. I really have no gripes with the house. I appreciate the house and I wish I could have seen what the Hollywood version was like. House count - 6 Nightingales: Blood Prey If Baraka from Mortal Kombat had a daughter and she decided being a nurse was a good career choice. When I first went through the house, I was BLOWN away. I thought this was the best house in HHN history. The sets, the actors, the amount of scares - it was all incredible. Then things started to slowly… slow down. Almost to a screeching stop of slowness. The sets were still great. The trenches, the sounds of men screaming and stuff blowing up, it was still there. And then the nurses stopped from going crazy and it turned into a stare and glare. Little bald glares. Some nurses still went crazy, but others just stood there. Their creepy little eyes and bald little heads, eesh. Still creepy, but not threatening. So tiny. So bald. WHY WERE THEY BALD!? They were like creepy little alien babies. Man. I loved this house. It just started to let me down towards the end and that makes me sad. I would love to see a sequel to this house. Maybe even turn it into a street. I feel THIS would make a great street crossover, way more than Havoc. WAY more. House count - 7 Winter’s Night: The Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery All my gripes about Legendary Truth are resolved and I can die happy My most anticipated house turned out not disappointing. It was creepy, cold and had a Weeping Angel. I just wish there were more Weeping Angels. And a TARDIS. Is that too much to ask for? The rest of the actors were pretty generic, but very effective. There was a change of characters, unlike Legendary Truth and I feel that’s one of the reasons it was better than LT. I got a few startles, specifically the scares behind the wall where you got a nice view of the cemetery. Also, the crawling zombie scene, which turned into a great distraction. The finale was a little lacking and confusing. I honestly thought this was something dealing with Canyon. I guess it wasn’t. I am a fool for thinking so. I don’t have much else to say. Actually, I do. Why was the Thing trailer playing in the queue? I miss the days of queue videos, text games, music in the queue, house stills. Something. ANYTHING. But not a trailer for a movie that’s 2 houses down. Move the video. House count - 6 And that be it. That’s my review. I’m not going to review the streets because… well, because. I do have a favorite street and I’ll mark it below. That being said, I enjoyed this year a lot and I hope everybody else did as well. Great job to Universal and all of its departments, I feel you really knocked one out of the park this year. RANKINGS Houses: 1. H.R. Bloodengutz: Home for the Holidays 2. Nightingales: Blood Prey 3. Nevermore: The Madness of Poe 4. The Thing 5. Winter’s Night: Haunting of Hawthorne Cemetery 6. The In-Between 7. Saws ‘n Steam: Into the Machine 8. The Forsaken Streets: 1. Acid Assault 2. Se7en 3. Nightmaze 4. Grown Evil 5. Your Luck Has Run Out 6. Canyon of Dark Souls

Proven to be badass. Badassery is afoot.

Don't be jealous of the new and improved chainsaw gang I jest, I jest.

I'll start off by saying there are no bad houses this year. Every house is absolutely incredible in one way or another. While I do have my least favorite house, I can say this was one of the best years for houses, no questions about that. 1. H.R. Bloodengutz 2. Nightingales 3. Nevermore 4. The Thing 5. Winters Night 6. Saws n Steam 7. The In-Between 8. The Forsaken

Nah, that was just a general statement. Nothing directed towards anybody. No offense taken.

The bottom of the pyramid always has to support the top. The robots have been programmed not to endure multiple bright flashes, so say the programmers. If the robots do so, they will SHUT DOWN. The dog will never bite the hand that feeds him. The icebox canno-- okay. I'm done. If you don't understand what I'm getting at then I apologize.

You surely aren't calling the scareactors in Luck garbage, right? That must be a misunderstanding or perhaps an idea not fully thought out. Because if you were referencing that the actors are garbage, you need to chickity-check yourself before you wrickity-wreck yourself.

oh hey. You're welcome I'm no longer in ops and back with entertainment and tonight was my first night in the actual Alley itself. I'm glad you enjoyed the zone. also, they do play "Luck Be a Lady" it's super quiet and you can hear it better on the "lake side" on the street when it's a little slower.

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so much to say, but I just can't.

I'm renaming this street the Howard Dean street because this is all I hear when I walk through YYYYAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I've tried, man. I've tried. Just let him think that Saw 'n Steam is Bioshock so he can sleep at night.

The Z stands for FUTURE.

why would you bring through a Big Daddy plush through an unrelated house? I'm gonna bring through some... Where's Waldo books. Because it's... uh... Waldo wears glasses and some of the citizens wear glasses and he has a red hat and red is the color of blood. YOU SEE THEY'RE TOTALLY RELATED. After the event actual opens and I'll tell you what it reminds me of. And it sure as hell isn't Bioshock.

all I read was "farts." "yeah, the design farts. If that's farts and you don't like it, fart, let me count the ways I fart. The funny thing is that this fart they have above average fart designs. They could have easily taken one or farts of the farts designs and placed them on the back of the farts. That would have been farts superb. But, farts, they decided on a lackluster design. Given the farts track record of the event here's my prediction if they do end up doing well (which I farts see): You get the same farts next year with the farts gone and something equally miniscule in its place. Farts, it will be $FartyFart.FartsFarts" I did this so I could laugh because what I WAS reading was just kind of a QQ-fest and really bumming me out. And yes, I'm completely a child.

we talked about this, but Nightingales. GOOD GOD.

whatever you say. I'll say this, it's incredible and I STILL disagree with everybody.