Zombieman - Opening night review (warning - spoilers)

[zombieman]

I want to be upfront here - you will encounter spoilers in this review. I feel they are mild for the most part. If something was great, I want you to see it for yourself. If something sucked, I'm, going to tell you. Hopefully by the time you go these bad things will be worked out. I have no desire to insert spoiler captions everywhere, so read at your own risk.

Oh man - what a rough opening.

I attended as part of the Micechat event, which included the Eyegores, admission, FOTL pass, and the VIP buffet. What a great deal.

When the Eyegore awards let out at 8:15, the lines were already over an hour in the lower lot and backlot. They remained long all night.

Almost every expectation I went to the event with was turned on its head. So here goes:

Worst maze by a mile - Dracula Untold.

I have no idea what this movie or maze is about. The previews don't help much and the maze itself sure doesn't tell anything that approaches a story. They do have some sort of narration track outside the maze that is supposed to tell the backstory, but it is impossible to hear due to the Power radio station blasting some of the worst crap imaginable all night long. The facade is one of the weakest ever made for HHN-H. A faux rock wall and a single faux boulder - it seems unfinished. The maze is for the most part was bloodless - strange for a vampire theme. Halfway through an old lady does the scares - I guess she's supposed to be a witch, but the costume looks to be straight out of Insidious. One scene was out of order - a sheet covered it but the sound effects we still going on behind the sheet. Really weird cameos in this house - a prop straight out of Walking Dead, as well as a charred Walker - no joke. The single biggest reason this house is an utter failure is that it exists at HHN this year for one purpose only - to make people want to see the movie. I have zero desire to see it. There was nothing compelling about the maze. I couldn't give a crap. The entire maze looks like it was a last-minute idea thrown together over the weekend. It's a real shame, because I hear Orlando's version is surprisingly good.

I do not think there is any chance of a turnaround for the Hollywood version.

Two mazes that should have been in the top, but were just terrible - AVP and AWIL.

Both of these houses are made or broken by the puppets and the puppeteers. Unfortunately, they were broken.

AWIL in Orlando was the best HHN house in a decade (maybe ever), and it was because of the incredible puppet effects. Hollywood's version was nothing like Orlando's. It has two major problems. One is fixable and one is not. What is NOT fixable is the poor way the house itself is presented. I have never felt that anything presented in the JP queue seemed too short until now. All of the rooms in Orlando were twice as big. The facade was twice as big in Orlando. Hollywood's maze was like comparing the Disneyland castle to the Magic Kingdom castle. There was no room to present the story the way it should have been presented. In Orlando, you exit the very large Slaughtered Lamb and head into a marsh room with no actors that is the Moors. You hear David and Jack joking about the warnings they were given, and then the next scene is the first attack. In Hollywood, you exit the Lamb and immediately stumble upon the attack. And it continues that way throughout - bang, bang, bang, from one scene to the next, with no chance to set the stage. Poof! You're in something that is supposed to be a subway station. Poof! A living room with Demon SS. In Orlando, each setting was preceded by a great transition to prepare you and tell the story. And the final scene in Orlando ended like the movie did - abruptly - to the tune of "Blue Moon". It really capped off the maze perfectly. Here, it's a wolf attack and buh-bye. And the puppets... Man! In Orlando, those things were amazing. For those who don't know, the wolves essentially have a pole sticking out the back, and the pole has a steering wheel on it. It allows the puppeteer to lunge forward, tilt the head from side to side, and pitch the body up or down. The feet are mounted in such a way that it looks like the paws are moving correctly as the body moves. The Hollywood puppeteers just don't have the knack yet - but I think they will learn how to do it. Right now, they wildly thrash the puppet around. The problem is that once the puppet reaches the end of its travel, it stops abruptly, and wiggles. It looks ridiculous as a result. Some puppets were doing all their movements with a tilted head, so they looked angry but confused. Another problem is that at least two of the puppets are "victim-operated". That is, a guy lies on the ground and has to use the puppet's head to attack himself. It's really hard to not look like a bad effect from an Ed Wood movie. Over in Orlando, even victim scenes used a puppeteer controlling the attacking wolf. Lastly, the most pivotal scene from the movie - the transformation scene - was brilliant in Orlando, and lackluster here. Over there, the entire puppet moved with the actor. Here, it seems to be completely static except for the scareactor's head. What a disappointment. Now, I visited Orlando late in the year, when AWIL was firing on all cylinders, so I'm hoping that Hollywood will eventually look as good as it can, despite the cramped sets.

AVP suffered from very bad puppeteering also. Those alien creatures are really big, and there is simply not enough puppet articulation available to look real. The smooth black skin also exaggerates the "wiggle" problem when the puppet bottoms out. So you have this alien that appears to be having a seizure, rather than attacking. Most of the aliens and predators were people in suits as in The Thing. As we learned from that house, it's really hard for people to do the movements as quickly as needed while in such a bulky outfit. Another big problem with AVP is that while it has a lot of "A" and "P", there is almost no "V". I saw only one room where there was an alien and predator simultaneously. Not even a room, but a hallway - and the creatures could not even touch each other. Here again I am hoping that the house will improve in a week as the puppeteers improve their skill. Until then, prepare to be underwhelmed.

I know my thoughts on AVP and AWIL are already in disagreement with others who visited HHN Hollywood. The walk back from the houses is long. I hung around to listen to people chatting about AVP. I heard a continuous stream of comments "It was OK but not worth a 100 minute wait."; "That kinda sucked."; "The sets were awesome but the monsters were so fake.". There were positive things said also, but most people I heard had high hopes that were not fulfilled.

Enough with the disappointments. How about the good mazes?

Well, in my opinion, Clowns 3D was shockingly the best house of the event. I passed through the cheesy facade not expecting anything good, but it just got better and better. I'm by no means a fanboy for Slash, but the music really clicked in this maze. The tempo started out slow and foreboding. As you pass through each room, the tempo picks up slightly, to a frenetic pace by the end that really sells the ferocity of the house. I was really taken aback how Murdy managed to introduce the cast and tell the story. The house really morphs a couple of times, getting darker and more gory as it progresses. This one is really surprisingly gory. Pay attention to the smells as wells as the sounds - the scents change as you go - and it works so well. I wish Murdy had given Sweet Licks more personality; he could have been the next Jack. I also wish the end had involved showing the finished ice cream product; I imagine a scene at the exit where we see an ice cream truck and kids crowded around it. We would see boxes of ice cream bars with some dripping blood only visible to us. That would have been nice.

I still cannot believe what I am about to type here, but Face Off was one of the strongest houses at the event. No joke. It had two really big things going for it. First, because HoH will close forever when HHN ends its run, they were able to do things to the house that they could not before. Gone are many of the props that existed before. Now the first part of the house has received facelift worthy of 3D glasses. I don't want to say more, because it is really refreshing to see for yourself. Secondly, gone are the characters we have all memorized from HoH. We knew where every one would be, and none was there. Instead we have new, INTERESTING characters created from Face Off. Those lucky scareactors could act any way they wanted (such is the case with original content). Each character had its own personality, that was entirely new to us. That's why original content=FUN. No one gets to say "they didn't do that scare right". It is what it is.

Dusk Till Dawn was also really good. Seth and Ritchie at the front entrance were outstanding - they nailed the characters. I used the FOTL line and know that if you do, you are out of reach of Ritchie and Seth, as they entertain the standby line. So when my turn came to enter the house, I veered off to meet them (employees did not give me trouble) and mentioned the password. The Ritchie character spent a few minutes with me showing me the notebook. Then Seth told me to go on in and have a round on him. What was really cool about that was that I was on the ACTOR side of the queue because I approached them from the Gate A line, so all of the standby customers were wondering how this guy (me) got to do that. The maze was repetitive, but the almost totally female cast made it very worthwhile. As in the Evil Dead, it's neat to see how these tiny girls can scare the hell out of grown guys. I should also note that the costumes were the skimpiest I've ever seen at an HHN event. Solid house. The facade was disappointing. It was an exact replica of the Titty Twister, but if there was ever a facade that screamed for the flame towers, it was this one. Instead, they had the flames once again at the Purge - which of course made no sense for that property... Another oddity was that they had mega screens for all backlot queues that showed the dancers out front of HHN. It was voyeuristic in that they had upskirt cameras as well as down-cleavage cameras. I don't know how they are going to get away with that in the coming days... I wonder how much the girls knew about those cameras.

I mention Walking Dead last, because there's not much to mention. It was the same thing as last year, with only a couple of new scenes. Absolutely no new scares. In fact, the one scare I thought was the best last year was now used TWICE in the house (and is also used at Dracula). Same exact props, used in exactly the same way. For two different themes. Hmmm... People are split on the scare; half seem to think it's laughable. There are very few scareactors in this house. As usual, they act nothing like Walkers. They bark, howl, run, growl, and talk - everything that we've never seen in the Walking Dead universe. This theme at HHN has become such a parody of the show, it's ridiculous. This property needs to be retired - fast.

Smells at HHN this year are extremely prominent. THREE houses use the disgusting bathroom scene. In Clowns, it's the most fitting and the most prominent. Very oddly, there is a bathroom smell in Walking Dead as well. I just don't buy the notion. Although they don't discuss it in the series, do you think survivors would really be using toilets when there is no longer a functioning sewer system? I mean, I would think they have dug out a latrine somewhere. So why would a toilet room in the prison smell like fresh crap instead of putrid rotting walkers that are in the same room? Just not logical. But neither is using a property and not being allowed to portray a single actual cast member.

Terror Tram is also unchanged from last year. Absolutely nothing new here. No reason for anyone to visit. There was a shitload of Walkers along the WOTW set, though.

The backlot is different in that there is no longer a tram to take you from Transformers to the backlot. You get to hoof it the whole way. It is interesting that you walk through a tunnel that sort of looks like it should belong on the WD set. Nothing happens in it. When you arrive at Terminus, there is surprisingly little that happens. In the show, we have only seen living people at Terminus, yet when you arrive, it's kind of as if it has been overrun. I mean, it's Terminus for all of about 50 feet, then just like last year. So other than someone saying "Welcome to Terminus" there's nothing to create that connection. If you're expecting to see that weird altar room with the candles, forget it. Doesn't exist in Hollywood. Maybe they will tie Terminus in better in the coming week.

Mask-A-Raid scarezone is pretty neat. Because of the construction, you will find yourself passing through it many times. What is unfortunate is that unless you go far out of your way to see it, you will miss the awesome Dark Christmas zone - one of the best HHN Hollywood zones ever. Neat characters, neat theme, and really neat props.

VIP buffet was outstanding, if you can swing it. Better than any past year. Carved meat sliders, oyster shooters, mushroom risotto, fried or peeled shrimp, lots of other great stuff. Just amazing. The entrance to the buffet was also a mini-scarezone.

My ANTICIPATED house ranking as I entered the park:

1. AWIL

2. AVP

3. FDTD

4. Clowns

5. Dracula

6. Walking Dead

7. Face Off

My ACTUAL house ranking after going through everything at least once:

1. Clowns

2. Face Off

3. FDTD

5. Walking Dead

6/7 (tie): AWIL/AVP

7. Dracula

AWIL and AVP deserve far better than they got. I know there are quite a few people visiting Hollywood this year who went to Orlando last year. I predict those people will be woefully disappointed by AWIL in its present state. John Murdy has once again shown how good he is at Original Content. I really hope we see multiple OC houses in future years.

I will be going to Orlando in 2 weeks. I have a feeling that AVP will kick major butt over there. Also looking forward to their three OC houses. And evidently, their Dracula is actually good. Go figure. Most of all, I need my B&T fix.

Edited September 21, 2014 by zombieman

[UniversalStudiosGeek]

Nice review zombieman! I'm surprised by the rankings you put for your mazes because that's almost opposite of what my anticipation list is. I'm sad to see the disappointment for AWIL/AvP as they were my most anticipated mazes for Hollywood.

I will be in Orlando in 10/3 and 10/4 to see HHN (armed with express) and the parks. I am excited to see Orlando's version of HHN (particularly for AvP, Halloween, and Roanoke) for the first time and will probably do a comparison review after I attend both events. What are your most anticipated mazes and any tips for both HHN and the daytime parks?

[zombieman]

Nice review zombieman! I'm surprised by the rankings you put for your mazes because that's almost opposite of what my anticipation list is. I'm sad to see the disappointment for AWIL/AvP as they were my most anticipated mazes for Hollywood.

I will be in Orlando in 10/3 and 10/4 to see HHN (armed with express) and the parks. I am excited to see Orlando's version of HHN (particularly for AvP, Halloween, and Roanoke) for the first time and will probably do a comparison review after I attend both events. What are your most anticipated mazes and any tips for both HHN and the daytime parks?

I will be there the same nights. Will be at both UTH tours on the 4th

Roanoke is at the top of my list, followed by Dollhouse and Giggles. Love the original stuff.

I have written extensively about HHN Orlando for Hollywood attendees. Mainly, expect to do 2x the walking in Orlando vs Hollywood. Pretty easy to do 10-15 miles in a day.

It's gonna be hot, too. Real muggy. All day and all night.

Sign up for The Compound. HHN Orlando always does really neat games each year for the fans.

Definitely do the UTH tour if it's not sold out.

Edited September 21, 2014 by zombieman

[Doctor Jeffula]

I thought AWIL was awesome but AVP didn't live up to the hype.

[DTH316]

... I agree and majorly disagree with a lot of these! I guess its a good thing - everyone will go in and get something different for them this year. I felt last 2 years, it was pretty unanimous on what was good. haven't had this diversity since 2011.

[Doctor Jeffula]

I'm surprised that face off was ranked so high. Clowns I'm not too surprised a lot of people liked it