March finally made it to HHNXXI !

marchofprogress · October 4, 2011

FIRST VISIT. OCTOBER 2. SUNDAY.

First, the world's biggest spoiler, and the most important part of my visit, bar none:

It turns out I was actually *DEAD THE WHOLE TIME* !!

Now that that's out of the way. . . I'm not going to block out any more spoilers. . . But I don't think I really give away much of anything. And I don't give away anything at all until after my TL;DR intro anyway..

It turned out that yesterday was a really awesome night, weatherwise. I had been grumbly about not having made any use of my shiny FFP yet since.... Uh....After the first day I could've used it. So I've been harassing everybody I know to go with me, and also to buy the FFP and go with me again and again and again and again and again . . . .

TL;DR INTRO BEGINS HERE

But nobody would bite! LAME! I just kept watching days pass by . . . Then finally convinced my lady friend / roommate to go with me yesterday, and totally upsold her to the FFP. The price point adjustment makes the FFP a super-easy sell: if you're not a FL resident, it's the same price as an off-night ticket, and if you are a lowly Flori-donian, then if you plan on going twice, you save money getting the pass. Including last night, there were 12 days left on the FFP. It makes it an even easier sell if you're in my social circle because it's a known fact that I write "HHN" across the entire month of October and plan to be there every night.

Obviously I'm not there every night, for a number of reasons. First off, they don't have the event every night . . . . . Also I'm not a millionaire. Actually, come to think of it, those are the only two reasons.

Anyhow, I've been known to go to HHN for an hour, or to get one specific picture... Taking pictures is probably my favorite thing to do at HHN. I'll stand there waiting for a picture, too - it doesn't matter how long it takes. I'm content to stand there all night waiting for the picture, Fail, then come back the next night and try again. That is because I am Ridiculous. But I'll do it. Stupid flying monkeys took three nights. And one of those lil bastards snuck up behind me while I was shooting at them over and over, too! Just to rub it in, I suppose.

I'll also go to HHN just to get a single shot that I might think of in the middle of the night or something. I don't care - I do what I want!

Another one of my favorite things to do is to watch the really good scareactors (not that you're not *all* good!) like a stalker or some kind of weirdo (which obviously I'm not). I spent two whole nights watching Fear walk around last year, just because he was on stilts and there were colors. It doesn't have to be something even that impressive - I also spent two whole nights sitting on the curb listening to the Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar(s) insult people. Why? Be..cause.... that was ... awesome?

I end up seeing everything eventually. I even sometimes take breaks from my monomania-du-nuit to go see another Thing or Two. It's fun to listen to the Humans talk on long lines. They are silly and their antics amuse me. So that's what happens when I go to HHN alone, which accounts for the bulk of the nights I go. Apparently people don't like to stay out until 2am on a "work night" and in between HHN and this "work" thing they do this other thing called "sleep." I don't know what any of this means, but the end result is that I only-sometimes have a Posse when I go to HHN.

("Monomania" count : 1)

When the Posse is in Full Effect, ya'll, they usually depend on *ME* for some reason to plot out what to see and when. I don't really know why. But I take this task very seriously!

Unfortunately this year, I didn't go alone the first time - I went with Posse in Full Effect, ya'll. I can't remember the last time that was the case. My predilection for monomania and all the glee it affords normally makes people want to Punch My Head by the end of the night. Some Humans don't understand how it's possible to watch one scareactor for several hours when there's, what, 600 more strewn about?

("Monomania" count : 2)

So I just had to ignore any and all potential Stopping Points, and that was Lame. HHN is a different experience when you move through it. It's way different when it moves around you. Or if neither you nor it move at all (disregarding the fact that the whole of life on Earth is hurling through space at an alarming rate of speed...). For one thing, it makes for a quantity vs. quality issue in Scares. As we barrel through the park and its scarezones, there were a whole lotta scareactors going BOOO!!!! right in our faces (mostly Hers, because Girls Are Teh Wuss, as we all know). Those were the only kind of Scares we got throughout the night, except for one later in the night where two of the minions in 7 wouldn't get out of Her face.

I've found that to be a good testing point for Scareactors - how do they handle Long Scares? You don't even need a costume to jump out and BOO scare someone, and I am reticent to even count that as a scare. That is a 'startle.' The long scares are the ones that normally involve me laughing hard enough to damage an internal organ or two (HHN season isn't over until I'm in the hospital with serious internal bleeding at least twice). It also helps if the scareactor is allowed to do more than make vague gurgling or barking sounds and actually say words. Some of the creepiest scareactors I've ever come across were the ones that would have whole conversations with guests... If you're talking to a witch for like 5 minutes about how she eats children and whatever other things witches do (they don't float, we know that), you walk away with much more than a jumpscare. You walk away realizing that the makeup or the suddenness wasn't even necessary - that crazy wench just told you she eats children!

I guess actual conversation isn't really even necessary ... Back in the last Scary Tales house, the line got stopped for a brief moment in the Goldilocks room, and the [EXPLETIVE] FIFTY FOOT TALL BEAR scared the bejesus out of the guy in front of me in line, then stood there continuing to discomfort the bejesus out of him. That guy also happened to be my boss, so +1 triforce piece to the Bearactor. Going through Scary Tales over and over again trying to get a (HIGHLY ILLEGAL) picture of the bear was definitely a monomania-du-nuit that year. But he was awesome, so I just toughed up and kept trying - May the way of the hero lead to the triforce!

("Monomania" count: 3)

(Legend of Zelda references: 1)

All of this seemingly off-topic nonsense escaped my delete key to provide a little bit of background on my allegdly 'strange' views on HHN, because my reviews never make any sense at all if you don't understand the mentality of their writer.

Now, a bit more detail.

TL;DR INTRO ENDS HERE.

We drove around in circles for a little while to wait until 8:00 so that parking would be 12 dollars cheaper. I get pissed off about this every year - I don't think you should have to pay for parking if you buy a FFP, but I *really* don't think the parking fee should be lowered so long after the event starts. Why not make "$3 HHN PARKING" start at the same time as HHN?!

Part of that driving in circles involved procuring Affordable Beer, which we were promptly forced to throw in the trash by a security guard who not only wouldn't let us finish what we had left, but wouldn't let us walk back the way we came and finish them elsewhere. He said if we did that he "would have to get OPD involved." Ridiculous. So they stiffed us on parking, then they stiffed us on beer. Pre-existing beer! Lame!

So that happened.

On the way into the park it seemed like there was a whole lot more as far as security checkpoints were concerned. THat may have just been an ILLUSION though.

When we finally got in, I was hit square in the face by disappointment: my favorite spot for a scarezone did not have a scarezone! I thought it was awesome in previous years that you'd walk in and right away you'd see something going on right in front of you. Usually something colorful and/or otherwise attractive. When Oz was there, you could see the wicked witch from a million miles away. She was inviting! This time, just darkness.

It's something that I quickly found to be a theme of this year's event: DARKNESS. I can't remember the last time the park - as a whole - was so dark. It worked really well in some cases. I'm on the fence as to whether I like it or not. Or, for that matter, whether it was another ILLUSION or not. I might've just been hit so hard by the missing Zone that I couldn't wipe the dark off me for the rest of the night. Who knows?

Anyhow, the thing about having that scarezone right there was that it guided most people in that direction, which made for easy strategizing: just go the other way. Take the other end of the fork all the way to the back of the park = my strategy for seeing everything in past years, just because most people go clockwise. It actually ended up providing a pretty interesting solution to what I saw as a bit of a problem when I'd only seen the map: it makes guests walk through 7 if they want to see something on the way in, and walk back through it again if they want to see something on the way out. So the makeup transitions are not entirely wasted! That makes me happy:)

7 .. OR MAYBE 8?:

We ended up going through 7 three times somehow. Naturally it was the first thing we went through when we got there, and it seemed like the crowd was just beginning to build up and the scareactors were just beginning to get into the groove. We walked through pretty quickly because of my muscle memory: I pretty much automatically follow the exact same path we followed last night - up the right side of the park to the back. It was as cool as it looked in pictures, the minions had lots of energy, and as I've said elsewhere, I'm always ready to party with Marilyn Manson. It isn't obvious which girl/color represents which sin, and some people don't pick up on that at all (Humans in Lines). The cover version of The Beautiful People played earlier in the night is way cool, too. I have to nitpick one thing : one of the 7 (and her minions) look exactly like the acid people in acid assault. They could've thought that out better... But the rest of the minions and ladies looked great, except the ones that looked like they were just wearing really bad masks (Pride?).

Out the edge of the zone there were dudes with masks and uniforms. I have no idea what their deal was. They were just sort of hanging around and walking real fast. And armed. To the teeth. Were they an EIGHTH SIN? ::dramatic chord::

GARDEN OF ... UH .. BIRDS:

My muscle memory took us through this ... place... next. It was really purple. And there certainly were birds. I.. Don't ... get it. We went through this a few times and each time it was exactly the same: birdmen on stilts, and every other set piece had a scareactor dressed like a bird behind it. So two costumes for two sizes of bird. Scareactors on stilts would wag their wings around, and a bird-dressed person would jump out from behind every other set piece, then silently go back. They need more SOUND EFFECTS here. Or, really, ANY sound effects... By the time Marilyn Manson showed up in 7, we still heard him here in the middle of the "woods." I don't get this scarezone at all. THE GOOD: It was really purdy.. I'm sad I won't get to take any pictures here, but at the same time excited at the possibility that pictures may actually come out. It'll look really cool in pictures.

THE IN BETWEEN(ers):

I can't help it I just want to say betweenERS every time. Anyhow, my muscle memory dumped us right into this house, and the line was supposedly 30 mins (turned out to be about 45) so we waited. House was prety cool. Immediately upon getting the 3d glasses off the table I felt like kicking myself for not wearing contacts. I wore my 3ds over my regulars, She did it the other way around. I'm not sure I got the full 3d effect... Except in the rotating tunnel room, which was an obvious highlight. There weren't many scareactors in the house, or at least it didn't seem like it. I figured that this would be a hard-hitting house because everyone'd be so busy looking around that they'd be easy prey for scareactors. Personally, I don't always find that to be a good thing, and in most cases I'd prefer to just look around. So to me the balance was just right. I'd been reading all the stuff here on the forums and that leads me to two things: first off, neither of us noticed the room with no floor. What gives? How do we miss something like that? Second, I don't get the hype about the laser room. That's really why I think I didn't get the full effect of the 3d glasses, because She thought it was supercool too but I didn't see anything. I thought the yarn was way cooler. I also looked into the FUTURE and .... that yarn room's gonna get torn to shreds, isn't it? Silly humans! So yeah, good house. Purdy. I'm'a have to go through with contacts on.

We came out and ... We were, of course, in Jerusalem. I make the same mistake every time : I take the fork around to the right since I know that there's two houses right next to each other and when you exit one you're right in front of the other one, but I always pick the wrong one (Curse you, Lady Luck!) and end up in Jerusalem.

I don't actually think of it as Jerusalem - I think of it as if the time spent in the house was filled with desert sand and sandworms, and I end up coming back out hours later after what seemed like five seconds, but making Beetlejuice references while rambling about HHN makes me sad. Anyhow we came out by Poe and the wait time was 10,000 hours. So I suggested we keep walking, and we did. Past Saws N Steam - wait time 10,000 hours - pass HR Bloodngutz - wait time 10,000 hours - and then we got distracted by the ice cream shop, because ice cream is cold and Florida is hot.

LADY LUCK STANDING EVERYWHERE:

While in the ice cream store we consulted our handy Map (which is mostly in my head) and realized that we were practically sitting in Sting Alley... So we walked out and looked and, sure enough, there was Sting Alley. With several Lady Lucks visible doing things that were either sexy or loud (or both, if you're into that sort of thing). We were both like "meh" and didn't even bother walking down there - it's easy to get stuck in Sting Alley, and neither of us thought it was worth being packed in with that many humans just to see a million of the same character.

Seriously, what's the deal with that? I figured maybe the idea was that she's been everywhere all the time and whatnot, but all twenty seven Lady Lucks were wearing the same dress. I thought maybe she'd be dressed like she was from different periods or... I don't know. Something. I don't get it.

EATING LSD IN NEW YORK:

So we kept walking toward what I'd been walking toward since about the third week of September : Acid Assault. I love this scarezone! Not even because of the scareactors, not at all. They do well with what they have, but really all they have is the same mask/makeup that we'd already seen before about a bajillion times at scout camp. I love the PROJECTIONS. There's a monomania if I've ever seen one. I'm sure I'm going to spend at least two nights watching the buildings fall down over and over again - it's just.so.cool. They didn't even need scareactors, nor did they need the (very cool) props. In fact, everything that wasn't Projection was total re-hash of zones we've seen, even really recently. This zone = Containment. Prove me wrong! But the projections. The projections! "Acid Assault" indeed, Universal. Touche!

("Monomania" count: 4)

THE LAMP'S RUNNING AWAY:

After we (uh... "I") were done gawking at the buildings falling down, we started completeing our circle and I noticed the lights and sounds of DEATH DRUMS, which I honestly don't really care about but She might've enjoyed it. Girls like dancing, right? .. But we got there when the show was over, and the gigantic scaffolds holding the drums and the drummers were being wheeled off in opposite directions. Oh well. At least I noticed that soon enough to turn around and not get trampled by the crowd. And I got to beat them to the next house!

IT'S FRICKEN FREEZING IN HERE: I'D BLINK BUT MY EYES WOULD FREEZE SHUT:

I was really really surprised how cold it was in this house !! I am, of course, talking about our favorite local frozen cemetary. It was cold! And they were pulsing! PULSING! We watched the episode of Dr. Who that this makes reference to (Sesason 3, Episode 10 - "Blink") earlier in the day and were feeling creeped out by statues already. So we were on guard for those sneaky bastards. They tried to get us a few times, but no luck! Ha! Really, though, I have no idea what scareactors or other Humans were doing in this house while I was walking through it because it was so beautttifulll. I've been in houses I say are gorgeous before, but they always have at least one room that is kind of weak - like they had to build a room shaped in this crazy way that doesn't lend itself well to anything, so it feels forced for one reason or another, but not in here. And my favorite part? I COULD SEE EVERYTHING! It wasn't super brightly lit, like it will be when I go for the daytime tour, but it wasn't too dark to see anything either. Just perfect. Easily the best lighting I've seen in a house at HHN, no doubt about it. I was so distracted by the awesomeness of the house that I pretty much tuned out the "scares" so I'm going to have to go through maybe ...ehh.. 35, 36 more times. Amazing house though. And cold! That was refreshing!

The end of the house dumps out in the same place as the end of Nightingales and I saw people grabbing their hearts and basically running the Eff out of there. To be perfectly honest, I'm kinda scared to go in there! I don't mess with creatures that have teeth as long as my arms, especially during wartime! Really, though, I just thought it was worth pointing this out because it's the most consistently intense walking-out-of-the-house group I've ever seen. Everybody was talking about how awesome it was. But it had a waiting time of 10,000 years.

We wanted to ride the Slow Jazz Roller Coaster but the wait time was 10,000 years.

YOU'VE GOT A COUPLE HALVES OF COCONUT AND YOU'RE BANGING THEM TOGETHER..:

So we walked straight ahead into the NIGHT MAZE, which sounded a whole lot more incredible than it turned out to be. Walls moving around? Maze morphing in real time? Okay, no, that was just dudes in black pushing black fences on wheels. It really seemed to amount to an annoyance more than anything else. Though this one did actually get a scare out of my Lady - the only one of the night. Neither of us have any idea why. She saw the guy clearly. He didn't even make any sound, just sorta lunged in her general direction. But she screamed. I don't understand that, since I never scream. Apparently people do that involuntarily when shocked, surprised, or frightened. Who knew?!

ADDENDUM: In adding up my final counts, I remembered that we actually went through here twice, though I don't remember when the second time was and can't fit it into the route we walked. I remember it though because there was a guy in a wheelchair and one of the scareactors pushed a gate in front of him, and the guy got kinda pissed. I got kinda pissed too - if you're listening, scareactor who did that, not cool, dude. Not cool.

HATE EVERY OTHER HATER THAT'S IN YOUR WAY:

Once on the other end of the "maze" Marilyn Manson was blaring for real, so we went back to check on our lady friends in 7, and this was still badass. It's really, really difficult for me to not start moshing with the scareactors when they run up and get all close to me. Stupid habits. So we went through 7 and when we were on the other end we were like "Uh, oh yeah, that's the way out..." so we turned around and went back through 7, once again hearing Marilyn Manson instruct us on how to exercise the will to power to the maximum limit while simultaneously being a nihilist and misanthropically hating every "other hater" that's in our way. I decided that it would make it even worse to work in 7 if I had to hear the censored version of The Beautiful People all night - it just sounds wrong. Anyway, we got hrough there and then I realized that we missed a Zone: the canyon. So we headed toward that.

SERIOUSLY, STILL?

We had to walk through the Garden Of Bird Costumes first. See above.

CANYON OF GIANT SKULL MASKS AND POISONOUS GAS

Remind me to not go through here ever again! The fog almost killed me! Couldn't breathe! Poison! And, again, it seemed like there were only two types of costume: really tall guys in black robes with skull masks wandering around on stilts and really tall guys in black robes with big skull masks who would occasionally move their heads toward the ground. We didn't really get a good look though, what with the poisonous gas and all. As horribly unpleasant and nearly deadly as that was, I have to say I've never been so blind in a scarezone before, and the only time I can think of being so blind at HHN at all is in Dead Exposure. Couldn't see anything more than 5 feet away through all that damn poison. I wasn't even that blind in the two-halves-of-coconut maze, where I was supposed to be blind. So even though it almost killed me, it was still pretty cool.

Somehow we ended up in front of the Simpsons ride next. She'd never been on it so I agreed to accompany Her, against my better judgement. That ride has a way of making the rest of my night queasy. It was already like 10:30 though and all the lines were superlong. Simpsons line was only 5 minutes. So we did that.

AAAnnnndd.... thenn...we... left. We went out the Acid Assault way to see the buildings falling down again but other than that, an uneventful wandering out experience. Nothing too exciting about that, except that when we were walking out, Death Drums had just ended again and the drummers were once again being wheeled off! Lame!

Two houses in under three hours, plus all the scarezones - Not bad, I'd say. I'm glad I convinced Her to get the pass (and glad I got one too). I am fully and keenly aware of how ripped off I'd feel if any one night at HHN were my only night there ... If I were a Regular Person, anyway. To me, all that was worth the ticket price, and I can whine about how the garden only had two costumes or whatever but it was still a good experience.

Final Score/Tally:

Sunday visits: 1

Monday visits: 0

Wednesday visits: 0

Thursday visits: 0

Total Time: 3 hr

Total Giant Animal Limbs Eaten: 0 (though I was definitely tempted...)

Houses:

Forsaken: 0

The In-Between: 1

Nevermore: 0

Saws N Steam: 0

HR Bloodengutz: 0

The Thing: 0

Nightingales: 0

Winter's Night: 1

Scarezones:

7: 3

Grown Evil: 2

Canyon of Dark Souls: 1

Your Luck Has Run Out: 0.5

Acid Assault: 2

Nightmaze: 2 (My story doesn't account for that .... but we defintely went through twice... Hm.)

Totals:

Jumps by me: 0

English Accent "hello"s by me: 2

Jumps by my Posse In Full Effect: Lost count (She likes to knock on boo doors...)

Screams by my Posse In Full Effect: 1

Pieces of Triforce given away in narratives: 1

Estimated Number of Costumes used in the Garden and the Canyon (combined): 4

Estimated Number of Costumes used in the Garden, the Canyon and the Maze (combined): 6

Estimated Number of Costumes used in the Garden, the Canyon, the Maze, and Luck Run Out: 7

"Monomania" count: 4

Summary of Visit 1: The Scarezones were a whole lot lamer than I thought and the houses were a whole lot better than I thought. The zones will probably grow on me, especially as the scareactors really get to know the space. And hopefully I'll find a logical reason why there were 63 Lady Lucks all wearing the same dress in Sting Alley. Also, OMG @ Cemetary, OMG @ building projections, OMG @ rotating tunnel.

And finally, Today's ProTip: If you're wondering why I keep mentioning Monomania, go study your Poe!

Disneyson1 · October 5, 2011

(Slow clap)

Most entertaining review by far... And P.S. If you have monomania I'd suggest staying away from the Winter's Night miniatures...!

I am Weighting · October 5, 2011

Definitely the most entertaining review ever.

Isn't Winter's Night amazing? In two days, I walked through it nine times, and I would walk through it 36 more times if I got the chance. So much to look at; if people weren't pushing me to keep walking the whole time, I would have carefully read every name on every crypt. It's a shame you didn't notice the scareactors, they change in the lantern (carefully hidden black lights) light; it's almost as mesmerizing as the sets.

Edited October 6, 2011 by I am Weighting

Vicarious68 · October 6, 2011

I have to say - I am a long time stalker, but after reading this review of the event I HAD to become a member just to tell you this is the most creative and amusing review I have E V E R read - and I can't wait to read more. Even if your username has nothing to do with the Hare, you'll be invited to my tea parties (if and when I have any).

Cheers.

I am Weighting · October 6, 2011

Ignore this post! It's a stray; it doesn't belong here. Don't give it attention or it will never leave us alone!

Edited October 6, 2011 by I am Weighting

marchofprogress · October 6, 2011

(Slow clap)

Most entertaining review by far... And P.S. If you have monomania I'd suggest staying away from the Winter's Night miniatures...!

Thanks for being entertained with me. Some people have a moral compass that tells them what's right and what's wrong, but my compass must have some of its wires crossed or the coal I put in its steam engine isn't good enough (I just can't bring myself to pay the extra two cents for Premium!). My screwy compass just continually points in the direction of what amuses me more. It is great when other people are on board.

MINIATURES? Where?! I can't even think of where they .. *would* be.

Definitely the most entertaining review ever.

Isn't Winter's Night amazing? In two days, I walked through it nine times, and I would walk through it 36 more times if I got the chance. So much to look at; if people weren't pushing me to keep walking the whole time, I would have carefully read every name on every crypt. It's a shame you didn't notice the scareactors, they change in the lantern (carefully hidden black lights) light; it's almost as mesmerizing as the sets.

First off, OH YEAH? WELL I'D GO THROUGH IT 37 MORE TIMES!

Sorry, competitive streak..that I only have on the internet..... about completely insignificant things...

As above thanks for being entertained - you should hear the rest of the nonsense that goes on in my head. Actually there's quite a bit of that nonsense posted various places here.

The secret to not getting pushed in line is to be built out of bricks like me. If someone pushes me more than 3 times - or just one time if it was on purpose - I bark at them. That usually Wins.

There *were* scareactors - I'd say that the reason I missed them was probably out of being mesmerized by the house's design ... So various scareactors jumped out of places and I'd crook my head to see what the house looks like behind them:)

I have to say - I am a long time stalker, but after reading this review of the event I HAD to become a member just to tell you this is the most creative and amusing review I have E V E R read - and I can't wait to read more. Even if your username has nothing to do with the Hare, you'll be invited to my tea parties (if and when I have any).

Cheers.

A long-time stalker of the forums in general, or of me? Because that's really creepy, to just watch the forums in general. If you wish to read more of my blahblah it's all over these forums. I have lots of time on my hands and I don't interact with lots of other Humans. So I get on the internet and shoot lots of arrows in the sky and put some messages in bottles and sees what happens.

Progress is always marching on - Taco Bell is a prime example. Do you see how often they come up with new ways to mix four ingredients?! That's amazing! That's innovative! That's mathematically impossible!

THAT. Is progress.

Ignore this post! It's a stray; it doesn't belong here. Don't give it attention or it will never leave us alone!

How come people on forums always think I'm a troll when I'm only posting topical stuff? And putting effort into it! If I were a troll I'd just be like "HHN IS POO! LOL!" ... I'd say a fifty-one page review of just my first visit is pretty topical and required too much effort for a trollytroll.

In short, I'm going to hold my breath until you take that back!! You're driving away customers!!

:::starts holding breath:::

I am Weighting · October 6, 2011

First off, OH YEAH? WELL I'D GO THROUGH IT 37 MORE TIMES!
Sorry, competitive streak..that I only have on the internet..... about completely insignificant things...

As above thanks for being entertained - you should hear the rest of the nonsense that goes on in my head. Actually there's quite a bit of that nonsense posted various I places here.

The secret to not getting pushed in line is to be built out of bricks like me. If someone pushes me more than 3 times - or just one time if it was on purpose - I bark at them. That usually Wins.

There *were* scareactors - I'd say that the reason I missed them was probably out of being mesmerized by the house's design ... So various scareactors jumped out of places and I'd crook my head to see what the house looks like behind them:)

If I were to go through it 36 more times, and you go through it 37 more times, I'd have gone through it 7 more times than you. I win.

Yes, because being made of bricks means you bark at people who wrong you . Honestly, if I really wanted to stop someone form repeatedly pushing me (which has not happened... yet), I'd lick their face; that always stops people from touching you. Of course, this would mean carrying around a lot of Listerine mouthwash, but it'd be worth it in the end. Which reminds me! [rant] While walking through Saws N' Steam, I swear to God I saw a scareactor lick a girl's face. He jumped out at her, yelling "Blaaah!" and then he leaned in and licked her face. Maybe he only made it seem like he was going to lick her face, 'cuz the girl didn't even react and it's against scareacting laws, but I'm positive he moved his tongue up the side of her cheek. Maybe he knew her... I walked through Nightingales, and the girl walking in front of me scareacts in Nightingales, but it was her night off, and she got high fives from about three of the Nurses... so maybe the guy knew the girl whose face he licked, which would also explain why she didn't even budge when he jumped out at her. Or maybe she's had a lot of botox and didn't feel the lick, and she doesn't have periphery vision which is why she didn't notice the scare and I don't know why I thought you'd care about this anecdote. [/rant]

How come people on forums always think I'm a troll when I'm only posting topical stuff? And putting effort into it! If I were a troll I'd just be like "HHN IS POO! LOL!" ... I'd say a fifty-one page review of just my first visit is pretty topical and required too much effort for a trollytroll.

In short, I'm going to hold my breath until you take that back!! You're driving away customers!!

:::starts holding breath:::

Actually, I meant to correct the grammar in my earlier post because I hate proof reading, and I accidentally clicked reply. I replied to myself and it looked ridiculous, so I tried (and failed) to tell people to ignore my post in a clever way. I realized how ambiguous the post was, but I was hoping it would be ignored.

Stop holding your breath!

Edited October 6, 2011 by I am Weighting

Disneyson1 · October 6, 2011

There are miniatures... Behind the wall? With the hole? And, co-incidentally, I just finished Berniece- I heard that there would be a Berniece in the house, so I guess we should look for shiny teeth... Or lack thereof? OR WAS I PUSHED? Yup, I was pushed. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on everything else!

PS I think those Lady Luck masks are basically anti-monomania, so...

Disneyson1 · October 6, 2011

PS I think the "Eighth Sin" might be Wrath still... Are they around the chick with the wrathy wreath of thorny thickets around her chair? Cuz they're wrathful so they carry chainsaws? Makes sense to me. But I don't get what's going on with Sloth (blue). Like, she slept so much her face turned green and ugly?

PPS The point with the 1072 Lady Lucks is that I think they're supposed to be omnipresent or yeah. Because when both my friend and I have bad luck I usually just chalk it up to the fact that there are 2,358 Lady Lucks randomly following us. Each. Plus, she's pretty old. Like, I think Adam-and-Eve-snake old.

PPPS This is a double post.

I am Weighting · October 6, 2011

PS I think the "Eighth Sin" might be Wrath still... Are they around the chick with the wrathy wreath of thorny thickets around her chair? Cuz they're wrathful so they carry chainsaws? Makes sense to me. But I don't get what's going on with Sloth (blue). Like, she slept so much her face turned green and ugly?

The "eighth sin" is Lady Luck's minions. They aren't really part of 7. They scare people walking towards 7.

Sloth - She's wasting her time, and wasting her life. Therefore, her body is wasting away. It's a bit of a stretch, but then again, so are extreme burns because of lust, and snake scales because of envy.

marchofprogress · October 7, 2011

If I were to go through it 36 more times, and you go through it 37 more times, I'd have gone through it 7 more times than you. I win.

<MARCH SNIP:RANT TO SAVE SPACE >

Actually, I meant to correct the grammar in my earlier post because I hate proof reading, and I accidentally clicked reply. I replied to myself and it looked ridiculous, so I tried (and failed) to tell people to ignore my post in a clever way. I realized how ambiguous the post was, but I was hoping it would be ignored.

Stop holding your breath!

1- This is the reason I snipped out your rant too: : People get their faces licked all the time, what's so special about that?

2- The extra 7 don't count, because I am a committed solipsist and you didn't exist before you were interacting with me directly .... That's simple logic. And it's in the bible. Read your bible.

3 Couldn't you just delete the post? OMG IS THERE NO WAY TO DELETE POSTS? Like how there's no way to make a FB or Myspace account die? You don't kill them - you just make them undead! .... I say we need a wooden stake. We can use my stake.... We'll use your monitor.

4- You replying to yourself would be the only thing on this whole post that was anything close to 'ridiculous.' Thank you for keeping this a ridiculous-free zone.

5- ::::exhales deeply:::::: Thanks, jeez, way to wait like two months! That tantrum almost killed me! YOU ARE INSENSITIVE.

There are miniatures... Behind the wall? With the hole? And, co-incidentally, I just finished Berniece- I heard that there would be a Berniece in the house, so I guess we should look for shiny teeth... Or lack thereof? OR WAS I PUSHED? Yup, I was pushed. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on everything else!

PS I think those Lady Luck masks are basically anti-monomania

1- RE: Miniatures : ::stares at you with empty dead shark-eyes:: :::WALL-E voice::: Wall with hole?

2- I think those Lady Luck masks are anti-everything. So far all the HHN masks I've seen this year have been kinda lame. Which is why they Very anti-monomania. I'm not even gonna try to get pictures. And I *really want* pictures of those damn card houses and other props!! But ... human sardine = lame. I think they put the stuff in Sting Alley that they don't want you to take pictures of, since, you know, you can't lift your arms with that many people around.

3- OMG BERENIECE (your spelling's off, btw). Is that not the most horrible thing ever written? Imagine reading it in the 1830s!? I could look up an exact date on WP. I even have WP open in my WP browser that lives on the other screen all the time. It's its permanent address - gets its mail there and everything. Rarely goes on vacation. Some of my Huge Circle Of Friends occasionally ask me what is in the WP browser at the moment, just to see what kind of crazy nonsense I'm learning about. But no, no Bereniece. I would be totally satisfied with a set of those novelty chattering teeth. True Poe Fans would've understood the reference, and the others would just chalk it up to Poe going mad. You'd really be surprised what kind of nonsense you can get away with if people just think you're mad . . . Also, I may be wrong, and I'm listing this for posterity (since I think I'm going to HHN after I post this and I'm gonna try to see Poe).. But... I think the POE house references:

The Telltale Heart (which is kind of a prerequisite for a Poe house), the Raven (ditto), the Raven (named twice for never flitting), the Black Cat, The Cask of Amontillado, Masque of the Red Death, the Pit and the Pendulum, Lenore (since I heard that directly...), possibly the Oval Portrait (I'm angry at A&D if there isn't an oval-shaped portrait of a beautiful woman somewhere in that house), possibly The Bells (I'm angry at A&D if I don't hear a bell toll), and if there are pages of words in the house, I hope one of them has the cryptogram from The Gold Bug. Oh, and obviously the Purloined Letter is referenced by default, since the letter is either in the house ("Hey look - that's the purloined letter!!") or not in the house (...because it's been purloined).

I think between those (which I consider pretty much all requirements of a Poe house where the non-hardcore Poe fans know what room they're in) and Poe's own life, that covers the 10 rooms. They're all still 10 rooms right? Hm...

Oh and also, I will award - and this is unprecedented - Two Pieces of the Triforce to the HHN A&D team if

there's a reference to The Murders in the Rue Morgue by way of an orangutang with a straight razor

.

PS I think the "Eighth Sin" might be Wrath still... Are they around the chick with the wrathy wreath of thorny thickets around her chair? Cuz they're wrathful so they carry chainsaws? Makes sense to me. But I don't get what's going on with Sloth (blue). Like, she slept so much her face turned green and ugly?

PPS The point with the 1072 Lady Lucks is that I think they're supposed to be omnipresent or yeah. Because when both my friend and I have bad luck I usually just chalk it up to the fact that there are 2,358 Lady Lucks randomly following us. Each. Plus, she's pretty old. Like, I think Adam-and-Eve-snake old.

PPPS This is a double post.

1- Re: the army : I. . . .guess so? I don't know - it seemed to me like the other minions had 2 minions a piece and there were at LEAST 90 scareactors-with-the-black-and-white-masks-and-medieval-weaponry....Wait, one of them had a chainsaw?? Well I am ignoring that to make my comment about medieval weaponry still work as a reference:) What? Maybe I mean medieval like .. from Pulp Fiction! They didn't have pliers or blow torches back then either!! Maybe Ill aks one of them what their deal is. They usually don't respond to "speech" though.

2- I don't get what's going on with any of them except gluttony, pride, and greed's minions. Or at least it's not as obvious. Gluttony's usually eating a giant animal part and covered in vomit (not a way to go with selling giant animal parts, Uni! ...... though I still want one!), Pride is wearing the ugliest mask ever and looking at herself in a broken mirror, and the greed minion has a whole bunch of dolla-dolla-bills-yall stuck in his mouth (when he coughs he MAKES IT RAIN)... But other than that... Wtf. Can I say wtf here? If not, wtb (what the butt).

3- Any creature - male, female, alive, dead, mortal, immortal, made of rice, it doesn't matter - who is Omnipresent in Sting Alley during October and a little bit of September is not a creature I have any fear of whatsoever. It's just so easy to avoid Sting Alley. I've always wondered why Sting Alley was even there at all . . But that's another story.

4- The 2,358 + 500 Lady Lucks following us (I include the ugly ones on the ground in Sting Alley but not the pretty ones in the stairwells) : YES @ THIS. I thought Uni was going to go balls-out (can I say 'balls-out" here? It's what I mean!) with the abstraction this year that they so horribly dropped the ball on last year (IMO). In that case, everything in the park would be tainted with choice everywhere to the point where I'd be whining about that. I mean even Uni's own literature says something about choosing your path in Sting Alley .... WHAT PATH? WHAT CHOICE? It's an open area as big as my apartment; where am I gonna go? Anyway it seems to me like they went halfway with that abstraction plan then just gave up on it. There's temptation by a beautiful woman that can get you killed (i.e., in 7), theres the choice involved with a Maze (which I think is very cool - I'm even willing to accept this somewhat rinkydink scarezone as cool just based on the concept), but that's about it. Instead they tried to make her a real person? That don't make'a no sense. How does she get ugly? I think that was a bad move. I think Lady Luck The Temptress should always be beautiful. The ugly Ladies of Sting Alley (you know, the ones wearing the masks from Pride in the 7 zone) don't tempt me to do anything except find out what they suggest and do not-that. So yeah she's omnipresent but. Meh.

The "eighth sin" is Lady Luck's minions. They aren't really part of 7. They scare people walking towards 7.

Sloth - She's wasting her time, and wasting her life. Therefore, her body is wasting away. It's a bit of a stretch, but then again, so are extreme burns because of lust, and snake scales because of envy.

As I said above I think they're pretty much all kind of a stretch, except the two that have props (Pride = mirror Gluttony = food - I can get behind that). They missed a huge opportunity otherwise. Examples, you say?

SURE!

But first, some background . . .Many Judeo-Christian belief systems (especially the Catholic Church) divide sins into two categories: the venial sins (minor), and the mortal sins (major). Those two categories are divided based on whether they are forgivable or not in .... 1 John I believe... Anyway, the minor sins, you can be forgiven for, because the soul is merely weakened...The major sins result in damnation. The reason they're called "mortal" is because they supposedly sever one's connection with God : the soul dies from that separation. The Seven Deadly Sins (I'll call them SDS from here) are not a third category - they can be either major or minor. They are called "Deadly" because they are self-reinforcing: the more you do, the more you will do, eventually leading to a major sin (if one hadn't been committed already). They are potentially Deadly to the soul.

The SDS didn't come from the bible directly like a lot of people think - at least not the way we talk about them today. The bible comes close. King Solomon says something close in the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 6 (or 5..?), which is a bunch of warnings. Solomon gives a list of things God hates.. But the list is body parts committing sins, rather than the sins themselves. So instead of lying, he says "a lying tongue" etc. (that's the only one I remember offhand). Anyway the list is basically lying, becoming evil, pride, bearing false witness, making evil plans, instigating violence, and destroying innocence.

In the New Testament, the book Galatians gives a list of sins that's ...15 long? ... I'm actually going to look this one up.

Galatians 5:19-21: "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impunity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."

There were a few more times lists were given, and combined, and etc. Around 600AD the Pope wrote the first SDS list.....

None of this quite matters though. The SDS as most of us know it today comes from Dante's Divine Comedy: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride.

Embodying these depends on knowing what they are, and in Dante's time (and ours), they were acts of excess. But they were all derived from other writings and have nuances that could have been exploited in this zone. To wit:

1- Lust: This wasn't always about just LUST the way we think of it today (impure sexual thoughts, etc.). Aristotle's idea of Lust was included in his definition of Love: excessive love of other people was a sin because it put something else before God. Even in Inferno, Lust is a manifestation of something else entirely: a lack of self control. Dante has them blowing around in wind. The excessive love of other people could've been shown by Lust never staying on her own platform, always running over to others and not leaving them alone.

2- Gluttony: This isn't supposed to be necessarily food-related - it's another sin of self-control, and another one that has a biblical basis: the idea is that excessive consumption of something necessarily means taking it from the needy. I won't bother discussing an example for the zone here because I think the one they have works. In Inferno, they lie around in icy rain sightless and deaf, symbolic of their selfish and empty lives.

3- Greed also doesn't necessarily refer to just wanting money. It's wanting personal gain at any cost. This leads to a lot of the more serious sins in Inferno (c.f., Judas being chewed up by the devil for all eternity). Inferno has two types of Greedy sinners: people who are misers/hoarders and people who squandered. They joust eternally.In the zone, Greed could continually steal things from the other stages.

4- Sloth is interpreted today as laziness. It's supposed to be closer to wasting one's (God-given) gifts. Sloth could have had ... I don't know.. a bunch of half-finished paintings hanging around as she sleeps...Dante actually puts these souls in Purgatory..

5- Wrath includes vengeance as well as rage. Revenge and spite, and also Hate. These are against the idea of loving everybody. Suicide is an act of Wrath. Dante has the wrathful fighting each other in the River Styx. Later on, when discussing "violence," he turned Suicides into trees. Perhaps the Wrath girl, instead of having random blood everywhere, could be a suicide?

7- Envy is insatiable desire for other people's stuff, directly against one of the Ten Commandments. The whole "grass is better on the other side" idea could maybe make Envy in the scare zone try to take the other girls stages?

8 - Pride is actually the most serious sin in most historical description because it implies competition with God (Lucifer's fall = pride). They handle Pride pretty well, I think, though I'd like to see the pride girl not ever acknowledge anybody else. Self-absorption.

I got lazier as the list went on (especially re: Dante, since I was just including him for fun off the top of my head and would have to actually look up the rest).

The point is -there's tons of things to draw from.

Oh, and if you're going to use Dante's list, use his hell - The Ninth Circle is actually ICE not fire..... At lowest part, the center of hell, (people who committed treachery against God personally), is the Devil, frozen waist deep, three-headed and weeping from all six eyes.

Now THAT would've been awesome to see in the scarezone.

Now I shall go to HHN for .. . like ... an hour!

I am Weighting · October 7, 2011

1- This is the reason I snipped out your rant too: : People get their faces licked all the time, what's so special about that?
2- The extra 7 don't count, because I am a committed solipsist and you didn't exist before you were interacting with me directly .... That's simple logic. And it's in the bible. Read your bible.
3 Couldn't you just delete the post? OMG IS THERE NO WAY TO DELETE POSTS? Like how there's no way to make a FB or Myspace account die? You don't kill them - you just make them undead! .... I say we need a wooden stake. We can use my stake.... We'll use your monitor.
4- You replying to yourself would be the only thing on this whole post that was anything close to 'ridiculous.' Thank you for keeping this a ridiculous-free zone.
5- ::::exhales deeply:::::: Thanks, jeez, way to wait like two months! That tantrum almost killed me! YOU ARE INSENSITIVE.

1- It was the way he did it. He jumped out, stared at her for a moment, and then (passionately) licked her face. It was very out of place for Saws N' Steam... and scareactors. However, you are right, people do get their faces licked all the time. My friend once used it as a greeting, as it apparently spreads less germs than a handshake. That was an odd time.

2- I mentioned the nine I walked through when I began interacting with you directly, but you chose to ignore it and say you'd walk through it 37 more times. You could have said you were going to walk through it 45 more times, thus beating me, but you didn't. I'd read my bible more often, but it's written in modern English. Exodus 14.14: "Don't Question God. You can shut up." I kid you not, it says that. So, I can't really trust anything it says.

3 Why wasn't there a hyphen here? It distressed me. I'm pretty sure posts are only deleted by mods.

4- I laughed out loud at this. Sure, I could have said "lulz," but where would the fun be in that?

5- I sometimes forget how odd it is to be apathetic towards someone I've never formally met before. Especially when they throw tantrums.

As I said above I think they're pretty much all kind of a stretch, except the two that have props (Pride = mirror Gluttony = food - I can get behind that). They missed a huge opportunity otherwise. Examples, you say?
SURE!

The SDS as most of us know it today comes from Dante's Divine Comedy: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride.

Embodying these depends on knowing what they are, and in Dante's time (and ours), they were acts of excess. But they were all derived from other writings and have nuances that could have been exploited in this zone. To wit:
1- Lust: This wasn't always about just LUST the way we think of it today (impure sexual thoughts, etc.). Aristotle's idea of Lust was included in his definition of Love: excessive love of other people was a sin because it put something else before God. Even in Inferno, Lust is a manifestation of something else entirely: a lack of self control. Dante has them blowing around in wind. The excessive love of other people could've been shown by Lust never staying on her own platform, always running over to others and not leaving them alone.
2- Gluttony: This isn't supposed to be necessarily food-related - it's another sin of self-control, and another one that has a biblical basis: the idea is that excessive consumption of something necessarily means taking it from the needy. I won't bother discussing an example for the zone here because I think the one they have works. In Inferno, they lie around in icy rain sightless and deaf, symbolic of their selfish and empty lives.
3- Greed also doesn't necessarily refer to just wanting money. It's wanting personal gain at any cost. This leads to a lot of the more serious sins in Inferno (c.f., Judas being chewed up by the devil for all eternity). Inferno has two types of Greedy sinners: people who are misers/hoarders and people who squandered. They joust eternally.In the zone, Greed could continually steal things from the other stages.
4- Sloth is interpreted today as laziness. It's supposed to be closer to wasting one's (God-given) gifts. Sloth could have had ... I don't know.. a bunch of half-finished paintings hanging around as she sleeps...Dante actually puts these souls in Purgatory..
5- Wrath includes vengeance as well as rage. Revenge and spite, and also Hate. These are against the idea of loving everybody. Suicide is an act of Wrath. Dante has the wrathful fighting each other in the River Styx. Later on, when discussing "violence," he turned Suicides into trees. Perhaps the Wrath girl, instead of having random blood everywhere, could be a suicide?
7- Envy is insatiable desire for other people's stuff, directly against one of the Ten Commandments. The whole "grass is better on the other side" idea could maybe make Envy in the scare zone try to take the other girls stages?
8 - Pride is actually the most serious sin in most historical description because it implies competition with God (Lucifer's fall = pride). They handle Pride pretty well, I think, though I'd like to see the pride girl not ever acknowledge anybody else. Self-absorption.

I got lazier as the list went on (especially re: Dante, since I was just including him for fun off the top of my head and would have to actually look up the rest).

The point is -there's tons of things to draw from.

Oh, and if you're going to use Dante's list, use his hell - The Ninth Circle is actually ICE not fire..... At lowest part, the center of hell, (people who committed treachery against God personally), is the Devil, frozen waist deep, three-headed and weeping from all six eyes.

Now THAT would've been awesome to see in the scarezone.

Now I shall go to HHN for .. . like ... an hour!

Your background giving was unnecessary, as I once watched a special on The Seven Deadly Sins on the History Channel before it became the Pawn Shops and Conspiracy-Theories-Presented-as-Fact Channel. However, it was still a very enjoyable and informative read, and I appreciate the time you spent explaining it because most people would give up halfway through writing that. However, I must cut it from this quote, because it takes up a lot of space, and that would make this annoying to read. See? I'm not always insensitive!

Also, I'm glad you are reiterating The Inferno, as it's been three years since I last read it, and it was terribly boring. However, it was much more interesting than the other two-thirds of The Divine Comedy.

1- Better yet, her stage could have been a giant, horizontal fan that pushes her tumbling through the air, like those sky diving simulators! That would've been impressive.

2- I don't really have anything to say here. \

3- And her minions could joust the whole night on real horses! Man, you're right; this zone could have been so much better ! I actually liked Greed the way it was, how she became imprisoned by her jewelry and her minions were choking on their own success. I thought it was cool.

4- Sloth is generally considered the least of the SDS. However, Sloth was originally Apathy, and was considered the most deadly; being incapable of love, you can't love God, and then your soul is severed. I think the whole wasting away idea was interesting, but I don't think many people understood it. The called her "zombie girl." I would have had her doing heroin or something else 'life destructive', but that would probably hit a little too close to home.

5- I would have loved this zone so much more if on the stage there was a giant tree and the minions were cutting it apart with chainsaws, while the tree bled and said melodramatic things. That was my favorite chapter in The Inferno

6- Why, there is no six! How odd! I'll just skip down to seven.

7- I didn't think Envy made sense in 7 at all. What do snakes have to do with Envy? They're green? So are salads. Her stage should have been one giant salad bowl filled with all kinds of edible leafy greens.

8- When I was there, Vanity (I think that is more applicable in the case of 7) just danced around while looking into her mirror. She didn't interact at all when I was there. So, at least one came out exactly the way you wanted it too!

7 was the Seven Deadly Sins, not really Hell. However, if they somehow covered the Hollywood in ice, had people frozen up to their necks in it, and the Devil making more ice with his giant wing-flapping, 7 would be the best scarezone ever made in history.

I hope you had fun at HHN for ... like ... an hour!

marchofprogress · October 7, 2011

1- It was the way he did it. He jumped out, stared at her for a moment, and then (passionately) licked her face. It was very out of place for Saws N' Steam... and scareactors. However, you are right, people do get their faces licked all the time. My friend once used it as a greeting, as it apparently spreads less germs than a handshake. That was an odd time.
2- I mentioned the nine I walked through when I began interacting with you directly, but you chose to ignore it and say you'd walk through it 37 more times. You could have said you were going to walk through it 45 more times, thus beating me, but you didn't. I'd read my bible more often, but it's written in modern English. Exodus 14.14: "Don't Question God. You can shut up." I kid you not, it says that. So, I can't really trust anything it says.
3 Why wasn't there a hyphen here? It distressed me. I'm pretty sure posts are only deleted by mods.
4- I laughed out loud at this. Sure, I could have said "lulz," but where would the fun be in that?
5- I sometimes forget how odd it is to be apathetic towards someone I've never formally met before. Especially when they throw tantrums.

Your background giving was unnecessary, as I once watched a special on The Seven Deadly Sins on the History Channel before it became the Pawn Shops and Conspiracy-Theories-Presented-as-Fact Channel. However, it was still a very enjoyable and informative read, and I appreciate the time you spent explaining it because most people would give up halfway through writing that. However, I must cut it from this quote, because it takes up a lot of space, and that would make this annoying to read. See? I'm not always insensitive!

Also, I'm glad you are reiterating The Inferno, as it's been three years since I last read it, and it was terribly boring. However, it was much more interesting than the other two-thirds of The Divine Comedy.

1- Better yet, her stage could have been a giant, horizontal fan that pushes her tumbling through the air, like those sky diving simulators! That would've been impressive.
2- I don't really have anything to say here. \
3- And her minions could joust the whole night on real horses! Man, you're right; this zone could have been so much better ! I actually liked Greed the way it was, how she became imprisoned by her jewelry and her minions were choking on their own success. I thought it was cool.
4- Sloth is generally considered the least of the SDS. However, Sloth was originally Apathy, and was considered the most deadly; being incapable of love, you can't love God, and then your soul is severed. I think the whole wasting away idea was interesting, but I don't think many people understood it. The called her "zombie girl." I would have had her doing heroin or something else 'life destructive', but that would probably hit a little too close to home.
5- I would have loved this zone so much more if on the stage there was a giant tree and the minions were cutting it apart with chainsaws, while the tree bled and said melodramatic things. That was my favorite chapter in The Inferno
6- Why, there is no six! How odd! I'll just skip down to seven.
7- I didn't think Envy made sense in 7 at all. What do snakes have to do with Envy? They're green? So are salads. Her stage should have been one giant salad bowl filled with all kinds of edible leafy greens.
8- When I was there, Vanity (I think that is more applicable in the case of 7) just danced around while looking into her mirror. She didn't interact at all when I was there. So, at least one came out exactly the way you wanted it too!

7 was the Seven Deadly Sins, not really Hell. However, if they somehow covered the Hollywood in ice, had people frozen up to their necks in it, and the Devil making more ice with his giant wing-flapping, 7 would be the best scarezone ever made in history.

I hope you had fun at HHN for ... like ... an hour!

Lacking any other navigational system whatsoever, my brother once drove a ride-on lawnmower into an above-ground pool.

I'm not that bad, but lacking no other reasonable navigational system, I'll respond to your listed lists as lists:

The First:

1-People who hear handshakes are one of the most popular ways germs are spread and decide to change their behavior by beginning to simply lick others' faces upon meeting them = My Kind Of People. I say, instead of being a wuss and compensating by - psh - washing your hands if you have a cold, you should just go all the way with it. Good job. If I knew your friend, I would award him a Piece of the Triforce, but since I only know you vicariously, I offer you .... I don't know, five arrows, or a rupee or something. Just *a* rupee- one of those green ones. Don't get any ideas - you're not LIl Wayne.

2- I said I was solipsistic I didn't say I have a good memory. So, SENILITY TRUMP CARD! ... I was saving that one for when I'm actually old and make an actual mistake ("Who killed a prostitute? What's a prostitute? :::pees self:::") but it'll have to do here. Should've brought smoke bombs.

3 The real question is ... Why did you not put one there? Maintaining the integrity of the original, or just ripping it off? Scoundrel.

4- I think I mentioned my broken Compass in my original post (I don't know - who has time to read all that?) but my Internal Compass points me to just do whatever's funniest to me at the moment. Saying "lulz" ? No win. If you really want to Charlie Sheen it up ..... I got a few more tricks up my sleeve.

5- I'd respond with something clever but here's the thing ... Madness drips out like molasses between the corner formed by the wall and the ceiling. And it gets real sad when you see it coming. You have to not pay attention for a really long time, but once it gets on you, it isn't coming off. I've been hit with more than a few sticky drops - it's no fun. HOWEVER...... apathy is smarter - it comes in through the floor. You can be knee deep before you know it and it can make you care so little that you dont even compl

Reiterating Inferno? That wouldn'tve been good. The seven sins aren't represented in Inferno.

1- Write this down and hold me to it: any plan - ANY plan - which involves the phrases "giant" "horizontal fan" "tumbling" and "simulators" is a plan that I will vote YES for as many times as they'll let me, and I will even gladly participate in a large number of Coopings (if you don't know what a coop is, you should look it up, since it was part of Poe's death) to enact this plan. Let's do it now.

2- Yeah gluttony's easy... You don't even need a stage, really : at HHN you're bound to find someone doublefisting expensive beers and someone doublefisting anonymous huge animal legs (they *say* they're turkey legs but, cmon...)

3- She was choking on her own stuff and stuff? I missed that and stuff. See, whenever I saw the minions, three of them were doing something: the Pride girl was looking at herself in the mirror, the Gluttony girl was eating, and the Envy girl was ....... having a snake.... ...... ..... But yeah the rest of them were just dancing semi-seductively (think Uni told them during casting that they were supposed to dance like enchantresses, or just went ahead and said "Strippers"?)

4- How about this : Don't have Sloth dancing around, or I *will* be prone to attack on the basis of Incorrect

5- What you described is the best idea I've ever heard. Plus it'd keep at least one of the stupid Drill Team off the streets. Yes I hate the chainsaw drill team. They wouldn't leave us alone back in 07 when we lost somebody and we were on phones trying to find them and stuff. Just kept revving the chansaw even after we were like 'seriously man, go away, this is kinda important...' ...... AHem, sidetrack.

6- I wanted to see if any of my loyal fans on the forums - I'm sure I have at least a thousand by now - would notice that the list went up to 8. Then you come in and ruin it. Oh yeah? WELL

BRAD PITT AND ED NORTON ARE THE SAME GUY

7- I will say this about Envy's snake: it totally helped that the snake was the fakest looking thing I've ever seen in my entire life!

8- VANITY FTW. When I walked by her the last time she TURNED THE MIRROR AROUND TO FACE ME. I almost had to ...like ... tell her a thing or two.....

If they turned the whole park into Inferno, I'd just let whatever was down at the bottom eat me and die happy because that would be the coolest thing I have ever seen. For now we're stuck with scantily clad women and Marilyn Manson - Psh! How lame is th- -- actually, that's kinda cool. More Manson, Less Clothes!

Incidentally, the second time we walked through on Sunday, a burny face guy and a doctor guy got up in my Lady Friend's face and were menacing, and between that and the beautiful people I was like "wow, I have been to concerts EXACTLY like this. At least five of them!"

Yes I've seen MM at least five times! Yes I've seen him so many times I've lost count and have to say "at least"! That's not the point!

I didn't go to HHN tonight for reasons discussed elsewhere, but thanks for asking, and for telling me my background info was unnecessary! Psh, you know how long it took me to amass that amount of knowledge on Sin? Not everybody knows!

.... Sinner.

(PS I didn't get the Lil Wayne reference either)

LuitaChris · October 7, 2011

My head hurts

I am Weighting · October 7, 2011

Lacking any other navigational system whatsoever, my brother once drove a ride-on lawnmower into an above-ground pool.

I'm not that bad, but lacking no other reasonable navigational system, I'll respond to your listed lists as lists:
The First:
1-People who hear handshakes are one of the most popular ways germs are spread and decide to change their behavior by beginning to simply lick others' faces upon meeting them = My Kind Of People. I say, instead of being a wuss and compensating by - psh - washing your hands if you have a cold, you should just go all the way with it. Good job. If I knew your friend, I would award him a Piece of the Triforce, but since I only know you vicariously, I offer you .... I don't know, five arrows, or a rupee or something. Just *a* rupee- one of those green ones. Don't get any ideas - you're not LIl Wayne.
2- I said I was solipsistic I didn't say I have a good memory. So, SENILITY TRUMP CARD! ... I was saving that one for when I'm actually old and make an actual mistake ("Who killed a prostitute? What's a prostitute? :::pees self:::") but it'll have to do here. Should've brought smoke bombs.
3 The real question is ... Why did you not put one there? Maintaining the integrity of the original, or just ripping it off? Scoundrel.
4- I think I mentioned my broken Compass in my original post (I don't know - who has time to read all that?) but my Internal Compass points me to just do whatever's funniest to me at the moment. Saying "lulz" ? No win. If you really want to Charlie Sheen it up ..... I got a few more tricks up my sleeve.
5- I'd respond with something clever but here's the thing ... Madness drips out like molasses between the corner formed by the wall and the ceiling. And it gets real sad when you see it coming. You have to not pay attention for a really long time, but once it gets on you, it isn't coming off. I've been hit with more than a few sticky drops - it's no fun. HOWEVER...... apathy is smarter - it comes in through the floor. You can be knee deep before you know it and it can make you care so little that you dont even compl

Reiterating Inferno? That wouldn'tve been good. The seven sins aren't represented in Inferno.
1- Write this down and hold me to it: any plan - ANY plan - which involves the phrases "giant" "horizontal fan" "tumbling" and "simulators" is a plan that I will vote YES for as many times as they'll let me, and I will even gladly participate in a large number of Coopings (if you don't know what a coop is, you should look it up, since it was part of Poe's death) to enact this plan. Let's do it now.
2- Yeah gluttony's easy... You don't even need a stage, really : at HHN you're bound to find someone doublefisting expensive beers and someone doublefisting anonymous huge animal legs (they *say* they're turkey legs but, cmon...)
3- She was choking on her own stuff and stuff? I missed that and stuff. See, whenever I saw the minions, three of them were doing something: the Pride girl was looking at herself in the mirror, the Gluttony girl was eating, and the Envy girl was ....... having a snake.... ...... ..... But yeah the rest of them were just dancing semi-seductively (think Uni told them during casting that they were supposed to dance like enchantresses, or just went ahead and said "Strippers"?)
4- How about this : Don't have Sloth dancing around, or I *will* be prone to attack on the basis of Incorrect
5- What you described is the best idea I've ever heard. Plus it'd keep at least one of the stupid Drill Team off the streets. Yes I hate the chainsaw drill team. They wouldn't leave us alone back in 07 when we lost somebody and we were on phones trying to find them and stuff. Just kept revving the chansaw even after we were like 'seriously man, go away, this is kinda important...' ...... AHem, sidetrack.
6- I wanted to see if any of my loyal fans on the forums - I'm sure I have at least a thousand by now - would notice that the list went up to 8. Then you come in and ruin it. Oh yeah? WELL
BRAD PITT AND ED NORTON ARE THE SAME GUY
7- I will say this about Envy's snake: it totally helped that the snake was the fakest looking thing I've ever seen in my entire life!
8- VANITY FTW. When I walked by her the last time she TURNED THE MIRROR AROUND TO FACE ME. I almost had to ...like ... tell her a thing or two.....

If they turned the whole park into Inferno, I'd just let whatever was down at the bottom eat me and die happy because that would be the coolest thing I have ever seen. For now we're stuck with scantily clad women and Marilyn Manson - Psh! How lame is th- -- actually, that's kinda cool. More Manson, Less Clothes!

Incidentally, the second time we walked through on Sunday, a burny face guy and a doctor guy got up in my Lady Friend's face and were menacing, and between that and the beautiful people I was like "wow, I have been to concerts EXACTLY like this. At least five of them!"

Yes I've seen MM at least five times! Yes I've seen him so many times I've lost count and have to say "at least"! That's not the point!

I didn't go to HHN tonight for reasons discussed elsewhere, but thanks for asking, and for telling me my background info was unnecessary! Psh, you know how long it took me to amass that amount of knowledge on Sin? Not everybody knows!

.... Sinner.

(PS I didn't get the Lil Wayne reference either)

Because I can think of no other way of doing this, I'm done with the lists. Done. We would just keep conversing forever on the same topics with no foreseeable end. So, the lists are done. For me, anyway.

Yes, my friend who licks people's faces is quite a character.

Reiterate wasn't the right word, but it was the first word that came to mind.

JUST KIDDING LISTS ARE BACK IN STYLE imahypocritesometimes

1. I wrote that down and I'm holding you to it. I looked up Cooping, and it's only a theory as to how Poe died. Nevermore: The Madness of Poe, disagrees with the Cooping theory.

2. Nothing to say... again

3. I thought their dancing looked more like strutting around in circles. I've never seen a stripper, but I don't think that's what they do.

4. This x 1000

5. They can be annoying. I just really want to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic.

6. I think I may be one of your loyal fans now... And I'm obviously the best one as I noticed what all the rest did not and then ruined it for them. Oh no! You spoiled the ending to the book I already read and the movie I already saw! How terrible of you!

7. She made no sense. At all. Not even the littlest bit.

8. Next time, tell her a thing or two.

Your background info may have been necessary for some, but not for me! Ahm liek da smartezt kidd i no. Not really, I just had a messed up childhood. I still liked reading your background info. I was able to amass all of that knowledge in an hour, how about you?

Blasphemer.

Edited October 7, 2011 by I am Weighting

marchofprogress · October 7, 2011

Because I can think of no other way of doing this, I'm done with the lists. Done. We would just keep conversing forever on the same topics with no foreseeable end. So, the lists are done. For me, anyway.

Yes, my friend who licks people's faces is quite a character.

Reiterate wasn't the right word, but it was the first word that came to mind.

JUST KIDDING LISTS ARE BACK IN STYLE imahypocritesometimes

1. I wrote that down and I'm holding you to it. I looked up Cooping, and it's only a theory as to how Poe died. Nevermore: The Madness of Poe, disagrees with the Cooping theory.
2. Nothing to say... again
3. I thought their dancing looked more like strutting around in circles. I've never seen a stripper, but I don't think that's what they do.
4. This x 1000
5. They can be annoying. I just really want to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic.
6. I think I may be one of your loyal fans now... And I'm obviously the best one as I noticed what all the rest did not and then ruined it for them. Oh no! You spoiled the ending to the book I already read and the movie I already saw! How terrible of you!
7. She made no sense. At all. Not even the littlest bit.
8. Next time, tell her a thing or two.

Your background info may have been necessary for some, but not for me! Ahm liek da smartezt kidd i no. Not really, I just had a messed up childhood. I still liked reading your background info. I was able to amass all of that knowledge in an hour, how about you?

Blasphemer.

You would be a

poo

fashion designer: saying stuff's out of style then just bringing it back without any change whatsoever? Lame. I'm going to change it up and start a NEW list.

1-I have been conversing on the same several topics for over ten years with some of my friends. Conversations don't end unless they're boring or worthless, like me.

2- I don't wanna know about your weird face-licking friend - such people as these are not welcome in my Normalcy.

3- Cooping is a theory - and actually closer to a fact - about a factor that contributed to his death, not caused it. You can't be cooped to death, can you? .... That would be the worst thing ever! You'd be hanging out at the water cooler in heaven with people being like "i was killed in world war two killing some nazis [pronounced NAH-zees] - so how'd you get in?" and you'd be like "mumblemumble they made me vote a lot mumblemumble" ... I'd venture to say that the rampant drinking and syph were probably closer to cause. The cooping would just leave you exhausted. ..........

.........

..........

Or, you know, maybe Courtney did it.

4- Any girl who removes any article of clothing under any circumstance in any setting is a stripper.

5- Why would you say "this" 1000 times? Is it like that thing where you fold a thousand origami cranes and give them to someone for good luck / to throw out for you ?

6- "I just wanted to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic" = something to say to the cashier at 7-11 next time you go in

7- I'm glad I have a fan. We are turning my thread into the most popular discussion forum since Athens. The movie needed the Tyler-Durden-In-A-Palm-Tree-Shadow image from the book. Also, do you wanna know who Keyser Soze is?! Be careful man - I've seen a lot of movies I can ruin! And not just popular ones!

8- Yes, she certainly is

poo

. I can't stretch that to make sense, and I am basically a phD in BSing.....

9- I made the universal "turn the mirror around dumb-butt - you're supposed to be looking at you" gesture .... That's as good as saying something. The waiter, being dyslexic, mistook the gesture for the international sign for bring table 5 a wheelbarrow full of beets.

10- You've amassed a thorough and complete knowledge of Sin in an *HOUR*? Holy heck, Batman, what did you do in that hour?! It ain't a race! As far as LITERARY knowledge, yeah you can slam that all together on the internet pretty quick but then again my summary was brief (at least by my standards.... My thesis was like 120 pages and I thought that was kinda short). I didn't even mention Augustine. Or get further into the differences between the sins, or say WHY Dante did what he did with them, or describe the dozen developments between the pope writing 'em down and Dante playing with them. There's always more to say.

Nor did I get into how The Beautiful People isn't a song encouraging sin but pretty strongly lambasting it.... "hey you what do you see, something beautiful something free, hey you are you trying to be mean? you live with apes, man, it's hard to be clean" ..... But don't get me started on Manson because that thread would get really long.

Disneyson1 · October 7, 2011

Isn't Envy's universal symbol a snake? I mean besides "green with". I'm pretty sure there's some sort of Adam and Eve reference somewhere. Jealous fake snake always ruining stuff. Jerk. I mean, I think that they made the sins the most recognizable for the "LCD", or "Normal People", or "Peons" (AKA Gluttony). But yeah, that's cool. I got them pretty quickly when I saw them. I like it when Lust wears the Las Vegas Showgirl feathers. I mean, yes, I guess the "Vegas, Lust, Showgirl" thing is clever but I really just like the feathers. LOVE Dante's Inferno. Did a research project on it.

You're going to be a little disappointed/excited for Poe: No Cask. But YES a scene from Poe's actual life! WOO! I expect that there are a bunch of references in there that aren't rooms, too.

And yeah, there's this stone wall that has holes in it in Winter's Night. There's some pretty stuff behind the walls!

marchofprogress · October 8, 2011

Isn't Envy's universal symbol a snake? I mean besides "green with". I'm pretty sure there's some sort of Adam and Eve reference somewhere. Jealous fake snake always ruining stuff. Jerk. I mean, I think that they made the sins the most recognizable for the "LCD", or "Normal People", or "Peons" (AKA Gluttony). But yeah, that's cool. I got them pretty quickly when I saw them. I like it when Lust wears the Las Vegas Showgirl feathers. I mean, yes, I guess the "Vegas, Lust, Showgirl" thing is clever but I really just like the feathers. LOVE Dante's Inferno. Did a research project on it.

You're going to be a little disappointed/excited for Poe: No Cask. But YES a scene from Poe's actual life! WOO! I expect that there are a bunch of references in there that aren't rooms, too.

And yeah, there's this stone wall that has holes in it in Winter's Night. There's some pretty stuff behind the walls!

B-b-b-but ... one person in the reviews for Poe said that

he was disappointed the Poe sealing up the bricks didn't scare anybody .... Though I guess there's a wall-burial in The Black Cat too... Poe sort of had a Thing for that, didn't he?

I didn't get to go on the Tour Where You Get To Harass A&D After on Wednesday but I think it'll be good to go through Poe in the dark before seeing it in the light. I'm sure there are *TONS* of Easter Eggyweggs for Poenerds like me.

How come the Lust girls look the same as the acid assault people? Is the idea that they were so lustful they went to NY? It is a pretty gritty place...

Disneyson1 · October 8, 2011

What??? You haven't heard of the saying "I'm so Lustful I could Burn Your Face Off"? I mean, that's first grade. Pishaw. I also assume that it has something to do with "being hot" or something like that. Like she's just so hot her face melted off. But really. It might just have been those dastardly flames on her stage. You can never trust such cardboard cutout decorations.

I am Weighting · October 8, 2011

You would be a
poo
fashion designer: saying stuff's out of style then just bringing it back without any change whatsoever? Lame. I'm going to change it up and start a NEW list.
1-I have been conversing on the same several topics for over ten years with some of my friends. Conversations don't end unless they're boring or worthless, like me.
2- I don't wanna know about your weird face-licking friend - such people as these are not welcome in my Normalcy.
3- Cooping is a theory - and actually closer to a fact - about a factor that contributed to his death, not caused it. You can't be cooped to death, can you? .... That would be the worst thing ever! You'd be hanging out at the water cooler in heaven with people being like "i was killed in world war two killing some nazis [pronounced NAH-zees] - so how'd you get in?" and you'd be like "mumblemumble they made me vote a lot mumblemumble" ... I'd venture to say that the rampant drinking and syph were probably closer to cause. The cooping would just leave you exhausted. ..........

.........

..........

Or, you know, maybe Courtney did it.
4- Any girl who removes any article of clothing under any circumstance in any setting is a stripper.
5- Why would you say "this" 1000 times? Is it like that thing where you fold a thousand origami cranes and give them to someone for good luck / to throw out for you ?
6- "I just wanted to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic" = something to say to the cashier at 7-11 next time you go in
7- I'm glad I have a fan. We are turning my thread into the most popular discussion forum since Athens. The movie needed the Tyler-Durden-In-A-Palm-Tree-Shadow image from the book. Also, do you wanna know who Keyser Soze is?! Be careful man - I've seen a lot of movies I can ruin! And not just popular ones!
8- Yes, she certainly is
poo
. I can't stretch that to make sense, and I am basically a phD in BSing.....
9- I made the universal "turn the mirror around dumb-butt - you're supposed to be looking at you" gesture .... That's as good as saying something. The waiter, being dyslexic, mistook the gesture for the international sign for bring table 5 a wheelbarrow full of beets.
10- You've amassed a thorough and complete knowledge of Sin in an *HOUR*? Holy heck, Batman, what did you do in that hour?! It ain't a race! As far as LITERARY knowledge, yeah you can slam that all together on the internet pretty quick but then again my summary was brief (at least by my standards.... My thesis was like 120 pages and I thought that was kinda short). I didn't even mention Augustine. Or get further into the differences between the sins, or say WHY Dante did what he did with them, or describe the dozen developments between the pope writing 'em down and Dante playing with them. There's always more to say.

Nor did I get into how The Beautiful People isn't a song encouraging sin but pretty strongly lambasting it.... "hey you what do you see, something beautiful something free, hey you are you trying to be mean? you live with apes, man, it's hard to be clean" ..... But don't get me started on Manson because that thread would get really long.

I most certainly would be a poo fashion designer, I can barely even pick out what I want to wear, much less design what other people wear. Since lists are back in, but apparently with a twist, here is similar list in response to a list in response to the lack of a list.

1. I was going to say "You're not boring and worthless, you're unique and exciting" and then I realized, I don't actually know you and for all I do know about you, you could own an anarchistic society of Nihilists whose soul purpose is to devalue everything. I hope that made you feel the same.

2. -valley girl voice- "Hey guys; it's me, A Contradiction and I just wanted to say that I saw what you did there."

3. Maybe you can't be cooped to death, but don't they beat you into submission? I think saying you voted to death against your will would definitely gather some attention around the divine water cooler.

4. Oh, then I guess I have seen a stripper. A few, actually. That pretty much means every woman and man ever are strippers.

5. Now I want to give someone a billion pieces of small folds of paper and tell them that I made it for them and it's good luck, so they can't ever throw it out. What an inconvenience I would be/already am.

6. Duly noted and will be said to the 7-11 cashier as I buy a pack of gum and a soda.

7. Yes, that was an... interesting part of the book to say the least. I don't think it would translate very well to film, but I do like the comments Tyler makes on perfection. I love Chuck Palahniuk, as you may have realized by my signature. No, I don't want to know who Keyler Soeze is, because I actually want to see The Usual Suspects at some point. I can also ruin movies, but ones you've probably never heard of. If the girl is making fun of everyone's accents but no one seems to notice, she is a Water Nun. There! I ruined a movie you'll probably never see (nor want to see) in your life!

8. No, you ARE a phD in BSing.

9. Damn dyslexic waiters. They're always messing hand signs up, especially when they aren't in restaurants.

10. Thorough knowledge of Sin-- yes. Complete-- not by a long shot. Like I said, I watched a special on Sins, but only the first eighth of it which just gave a background, as I already knew most of what there is to know of the SDS from the internet. I know enough to know more than most, but I definitely could not write a 120 page thesis on Sin with my current knowledge on it.

I think Beautiful People was used more to describe the scarezone, not sins. They aren't many good songs about sins. In fact, I can't think of any off the top of my head. Or the bottom. Or the middle.

marchofprogress · October 8, 2011

What??? You haven't heard of the saying "I'm so Lustful I could Burn Your Face Off"? I mean, that's first grade. Pishaw. I also assume that it has something to do with "being hot" or something like that. Like she's just so hot her face melted off. But really. It might just have been those dastardly flames on her stage. You can never trust such cardboard cutout decorations.

S... So what you're saying..is.... you .... burned someone's face off in first grade? And you just pass that off with "Pishaw" ? That's a bit .... blase, dont you think? That's cold!! ..... ...

Flames on her stage = Photoshopped out by my brain because I just thought of them as lazy. Like "sins, hell, damnation, fire, get it?!" <<< Lame. Too lame and lazy to be remembered by me as part of HHN.

I'd give other examples of things I've Brantoshopped out in the past but - surprise - I can't think of any!

I most certainly would be a poo fashion designer, I can barely even pick out what I want to wear, much less design what other people wear. Since lists are back in, but apparently with a twist, here is similar list in response to a list in response to the lack of a list.

1. I was going to say "You're not boring and worthless, you're unique and exciting" and then I realized, I don't actually know you and for all I do know about you, you could own an anarchistic society of Nihilists whose soul purpose is to devalue everything. I hope that made you feel the same.
2. -valley girl voice- "Hey guys; it's me, A Contradiction and I just wanted to say that I saw what you did there."
3. Maybe you can't be cooped to death, but don't they beat you into submission? I think saying you voted to death against your will would definitely gather some attention around the divine water cooler.
4. Oh, then I guess I have seen a stripper. A few, actually. That pretty much means every woman and man ever are strippers.
5. Now I want to give someone a billion pieces of small folds of paper and tell them that I made it for them and it's good luck, so they can't ever throw it out. What an inconvenience I would be/already am.
6. Duly noted and will be said to the 7-11 cashier as I buy a pack of gum and a soda.
7. Yes, that was an... interesting part of the book to say the least. I don't think it would translate very well to film, but I do like the comments Tyler makes on perfection. I love Chuck Palahniuk, as you may have realized by my signature. No, I don't want to know who Keyler Soeze is, because I actually want to see The Usual Suspects at some point. I can also ruin movies, but ones you've probably never heard of. If the girl is making fun of everyone's accents but no one seems to notice, she is a Water Nun. There! I ruined a movie you'll probably never see (nor want to see) in your life!
8. No, you ARE a phD in BSing.
9. Damn dyslexic waiters. They're always messing hand signs up, especially when they aren't in restaurants.
10. Thorough knowledge of Sin-- yes. Complete-- not by a long shot. Like I said, I watched a special on Sins, but only the first eighth of it which just gave a background, as I already knew most of what there is to know of the SDS from the internet. I know enough to know more than most, but I definitely could not write a 120 page thesis on Sin with my current knowledge on it.

I think Beautiful People was used more to describe the scarezone, not sins. They aren't many good songs about sins. In fact, I can't think of any off the top of my head. Or the bottom. Or the middle.

Lists were always The Vogue - they're wearing them in Pahhhhhris.

1- According to one girl who's known me since approximately 8th grade, the reason she still talks to me after so long is this: "I'm pretty sure you're going to start a revolution as soon as I turn my back." So. There's that. And I wouldn't say I'm a nihilist ........ then again, neither would a nihilist, because that would be declaring a belief, wouldn't it?

2- I wasn't contradicting anything. Most of the people I know fall well within what I consider 'normal' .... That is, in all personal characteristics, they fall between -1 standard deviation and +1 standard deviation, just like 68% of people are wont to do. There are outliers, but I don't want to start integrating the normal curve equation again. It angers me. Yes, there is an integral that causes me real, actual, palpable anger - once you integrate the normal curve from -1 to +1 you eventually get to a point where the proper solution involves ERF, the "error function." Which translates to "math made it up." Don't get me started. What were we talking about again? Stupidly Advanced Calculus, right? W.....why would we bother talking about that?

3- You're right - I suppose I was thinking of the coopers, and jail. "I killed fiddy men - what are you in for" "I...forced..someone to vote....uh... a lot. Like, many, many times. :::becomes somebody's girlfriend right away, before even finishing his explanation::::"

4- We're all also whores. Everybody has a price. Hey, now, wait a minute . . .

5- The crane thing is a real tradition. It's equally inconvenient too - it makes a great gift. Next time you're trying to woo a guy/girl/whatever else, give them a thousand paper cranes and tell them they're all hand folded just like Japanese tradition dictates, and attach as much importance as you can to the gift. Be sure to constantly look for the cranes. Ask, even. "Hey where are my cranes?" That way they have to keep them. It really is amazing what kind of self-amusement you can conduct with enough time on your hands...

6- If you were lying about this, you will lose a finger within the next four hours.

7- Screw the stupid water nuns - go watch The Usual Suspects right now. RIGHT NOW.

8- I know - I was bs'ing. Duh.

9- I *really* wish I could link you to the skit I was referencing but I can't find a version of it online . . . . DANG. ..... sorry for cussin'.

10- Ain't no way you gonna get a full education on Sin from the Internet .....

I am Weighting · October 8, 2011

Lists were always The Vogue - they're wearing them in Pahhhhhris.
1- According to one girl who's known me since approximately 8th grade, the reason she still talks to me after so long is this: "I'm pretty sure you're going to start a revolution as soon as I turn my back." So. There's that. And I wouldn't say I'm a nihilist ........ then again, neither would a nihilist, because that would be declaring a belief, wouldn't it?
2- I wasn't contradicting anything. Most of the people I know fall well within what I consider 'normal' .... That is, in all personal characteristics, they fall between -1 standard deviation and +1 standard deviation, just like 68% of people are wont to do. There are outliers, but I don't want to start integrating the normal curve equation again. It angers me. Yes, there is an integral that causes me real, actual, palpable anger - once you integrate the normal curve from -1 to +1 you eventually get to a point where the proper solution involves ERF, the "error function." Which translates to "math made it up." Don't get me started. What were we talking about again? Stupidly Advanced Calculus, right? W.....why would we bother talking about that?
3- You're right - I suppose I was thinking of the coopers, and jail. "I killed fiddy men - what are you in for" "I...forced..someone to vote....uh... a lot. Like, many, many times. :::becomes somebody's girlfriend right away, before even finishing his explanation::::"
4- We're all also whores. Everybody has a price. Hey, now, wait a minute . . .
5- The crane thing is a real tradition. It's equally inconvenient too - it makes a great gift. Next time you're trying to woo a guy/girl/whatever else, give them a thousand paper cranes and tell them they're all hand folded just like Japanese tradition dictates, and attach as much importance as you can to the gift. Be sure to constantly look for the cranes. Ask, even. "Hey where are my cranes?" That way they have to keep them. It really is amazing what kind of self-amusement you can conduct with enough time on your hands...
6- If you were lying about this, you will lose a finger within the next four hours.
7- Screw the stupid water nuns - go watch The Usual Suspects right now. RIGHT NOW.
8- I know - I was bs'ing. Duh.
9- I *really* wish I could link you to the skit I was referencing but I can't find a version of it online . . . . DANG. ..... sorry for cussin'.
10- Ain't no way you gonna get a full education on Sin from the Internet .....

I began to Vogue while reading your first sentence.

1. It's a good thing she's watching out for the safety of mankind. But who watches the watchwoman? I never said you are a nihilist, I said you own nihilists. True nihilists should own nothing. People who say they are nihilists are generally people over the age of 21 who still live with their parents and they take what they have for granted. They also want people to dislike? Fear? Hate? Be annoyed at? them because they think it makes them mature. They are different from people who actually are nihilists, but true nihilists are hard to come by. I don't think I've ever met one.

2. I hate math. No, I hate theoretical math. I just argued with myself. I still hate it. Let's change this topic. Do you like to Time Warp?

3. Because if there is one thing prisoners hate more than democracy, it's people who force democracy on others until they die because of the amount of times they were forced to take part in democracy. I lost my train of thought halfway through that. It left me behind on the platform with a bouquet of flowers and a heart shaped box filled cyanide laced chocolates.

4. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

5. I know! I remember reading a book about a girl with Leukemia who tried to make enough cranes so she wouldn't die, but she didn't live long enough to finish making them. Thanks, public schools! If I ever get around to making 1000 folded cranes, I will do this to someone.

6. No, I will do this. It seems like a great conversation starter with the cashier who gives me dirty looks every time I walk into the store.

7. I don't own it and all the rental stores around me closed. Maybe it will be On Demand, but I rarely find movies I want to watch there.

8. I wasn't.

9. Is it from the Inbetweeners? I've never seen the show, but I have a vague idea of what it is about and I noticed you mentioned it in your review. Yeah.

10. The Internet- The most virtuous and pure place on Earth; filled with humility, humbleness, good deeds.

Cinderelly115 · October 9, 2011

Wow.

marchofprogress · October 17, 2011

Yeah, I'm counting two separate visits as my second trip to HHN...

2a: October 13, Thursday

Normally I wait for 8pm so that I don't have to pay a billion dollars for parking to get in to HHN but I had some time to kill (soo o o o .. mu u u ch .. t i i i mme . .) and decided to check out HHN during the day, since I was in that part of town. Various sources (including the forums here) said that seeing everything was possible in one visit without using an express pass. I didn't believe that, and I still don't, since I've never had an experience at HHN that even comes close. In fact, I've never seen everything in one night, even when I've had an express pass. I've never really tried to, though - as I've said before, I like to gawk and take pictures and generally accumulate puddles of drool big enough to serve as amniotic fluid while I gestate my way around the park taking my sweet time (also, to slaughter the English language). So, Thursday I decided to actually try to see everything. I was going to keep a time log! It was going to be awesome!

Then I remembered the reason I don't spend even MORE time at HHN : I really hate waiting in lines, but I really REALLY hate waiting in throngs. And that's exactly what the entrance to Uni was on Thursday, right down to the internal-brain-reference in my internal-brain-land - the first time I heard the word "throngs" was in a translation of Dante's Inferno, which referred to throngs of souls waiting to cross the river Styx. Spot on. Throngs of people waiting to enter Uni. So much humanity. It was gross.

I kept accurate timestamps up to that point though. I keep time by Stops, which is just what it sounds like: it's where I stop moving. The first Stop for an HHN trip is usually the parking line. The next important Stop (though there are a few in between) is when I'm at the gate for Uni. All in all, the time between the parking Stop and the gate Stop was around 45 min on Thursday, and I was waiting in line/throng by around 6:50.

And waiting. And Waiting. AND WAITING WAITING WAITING ... finally after I'd been standing there for around an hour and hadn't really moved, I just got tired of humans and walked away, went back to the parking garage, considered pretending I was Steve Buscemi in Fargo ("I decided not to park here . . . .") and went the eff home.

I don't understand that line.

2b: Sunday, 10/16

Like I said, I don't understand that line . . . me and my Lady went again today ... Well, yesterday I guess - Sunday. And we stood in the gate line forever until we got to the front of the line - the metal detector. We both passed through that in about 30 seconds. For both of us. I just .. don't understand how this line could get so crowded. They don't even take tickets or anything there. It shouldn't take so long! It always does though, for some reason!

Anyway we got into the park just before 9. I still wanted to try the 'see everything' plan. To me, reading over the plans that people describe to see everything, they all sound like extremely verbose ways of saying "Start at Forsaken. Go counter clockwise." But it also sounds like those plans really depend on being in the park at 630... To me, that's kind of silly. I don't attend Halloween Horror Days. It's not a daytime event. Anyhow, I figured that we could intercept that plan as if we'd been following it since 6:30, and that doing so would put us right in the middle somewhere, so it didn't matter if we went left or right when we walked in the park. Both me and my Lady also wanted to ride the Rock Roller Coaster so we went that way to see what the wait time was like... 75 minutes. Lame.

The rest of the trip .... I'm not even going to bother with a full report: we didn't go in any houses. The wait times were all listed as 90 minutes, except Forsaken, which was listed as 75 minutes, and neither of us wanted to wait in line for that long... I don't know what's going on this year, but it seems like attendance is WAY up compared to the past few years. It's only since 08 that I've had the FFP and have taken the time to go over and over and over again, but I've never seen it so bad, ever. In fact, since 08 I have never waited in a line over an hour. I kind of refuse to do so.... In all the times I've gone to HHN - including the 4 or 5 times I went before 08 - I've only waited in line for more than an hour one time. That was for Nightmare on Elm Street in 2007 on a Saturday night. The wait time was actually around two hours, but I did that willingly because .. c'mon, NoES. Srsly!

Never waited over an hour. Never even close, really...And since 08 I've seen every house...

So that's one thing.

I also noticed what I thought were changes from the last time I went, but they might not be... Specifically, I noticed that there were more chainsaws and more horrible smoke. Or at least there seemed to be.. I don't know. I hate both these things. Yes, hate them. I have a million reasons for disliking the chainsaws so much, not the least of which is that I consider it lazy. It takes no skill to pull a jumpscare out of someone when you've got a chainsaw. No effort required. Also - and I really don't like to say this in these forums because I know a lot of you are scareactors and I don't want to give the impression that I think the job is anything but an artform, and a difficult one at that - I've had almost exclusively bad experiences with scareactors with chainsaws. Specifically, they don't seem to ever go away! Many many times I've had to level with them as human beings, like "okay, cool, you buzzed at me, but I'm trying to have a conversation here and I can't hear the person I'm talking to when you're standing next to me like that - go away! seriously!" Put a chainsaw in their hands and suddenly they think it's cute to just hover over one person because they think they're giving good scares. No. Not good scares. Lame scares. If I had to give a percentage probability that something would give me nightmares, I give chainsaws none. None percent. It's just a loud noise. Loud noises are interchangeable. You could have a recording of applause that you play at people and you'll get a jumpscare. Hate the chainsaws. They make lazy.

The smoke ... I rambled about that elsewhere I think.. but.. I mean, when I try to describe why I dislike the smoke so much, it seems so straightforward to me that I can't help but wonder how so much smoke ends up in the park.. When I walk through it I can't breathe, it dries out my contacts, so I can't see, it smells bad, etc. etc. etc. It certainly has its place. If you asked my personal opinion, I'd say that place was called "Containment" and we should move on and never have it again, but I recognize that other people have different tastes. Still, though, I can't help but wonder why it is that every.single.scarezone needs to be absolutely filled with smoke. That, too, just seems lazy... It's different if it has a practical purpose. If you have a scarezone that is all black with minimal lighting and scareactors dressed in all black, you're taking advantage of something that smoke enhances. A smoke screen! That's really the only reason NightMaze works. It's just that one gimmick.

Well, that one gimmick is unnecessary elsewhere. And it becomes .... gimmicky if it's overused.

So, yeah, those things. I may've incorrectly perceived just how pervasive they were because I hate them so much but it seemed like there were friggin' chainsaws and smoke everywhere... Also, I mentioned in my other review that the park seemed darker than I remembered, and I found that to be the case tonight as well. There are just so many little alleyways and places in the park that are absolutely pitch black. It's cool - it adds an element of actual visceral Scare to the event. Fact is most of the "scares" you get at an event like this are going to be jumpscares, which are playing off your startle response not your fear. That's just by necessity, since fear is generally so specific to a psyche. There are common fears that are evolution-based, though. The main one events like this can play with is really the most basic of all: simple fear of danger. And those black alleyways? That's danger. Sure Uni's got good security and all, so ACTUAL danger isn't really all that massive, but PERCEIVED danger is what they play with... And if you're not thinking about it you won't even really notice. So, that's pretty cool, I think.

Perception is key, as are personality and experience. For example, my Lady gets a good scare every time we go through Night Maze, even as short as it is. We usually end up only walking through the middle for about half of it anyway, since we veer off to the area outside the zone where possible (it's flanked by ramps that are blocked off by the walls, if I'm not mistaken). Actually, it even got a scream out of her last time (more on that in a moment). Just as much as she is prone to getting a scare here, I am prone to the opposite. I worked as a private investigator for a while and have done other things at one time or another that have put me in situations where I've had to be quick on my feet and not only take in my environment as quickly as possible, but use it to my advantage to prevent what is basically the whole tactic used in Nightmaze: sneakiness. The scareactors in this zone are awesome, but really they aren't doing anything but being there. They're silent, and they don't have fancy horror makeup or anything. They're not particularly menacing. The scares come from them appearing. Well, if you're a person like me , one-time denizen of NYC and some pretty skeezy neighborhoods in NJ and FL, with actual training as a PI and..other.. experiences.... Not very easy to just apear in front of me, even when I'm actively trying to allow it.

At the same time, I'm a big wuss when it comes to some things. For example, I kind of don't even particularly want to go through the Nightengales house because those creatures are freaky and I don't like so much loud noise (which is odd coming from a metal guitarist....). They don't need to sneak up.

Anyway, that's one thought I figured was worth sharing.

The one that's been bouncing around in my head more, though, is what makes people scream. My Lady screamed at one of the scareactors in Nightmaze last time, and I didn't think people did that unless they were totally drunk, or if they did I didn't think they did it unless they got a really good scare. While that scare did make her scream (the only thing at HHN that has as many times as I've gone with her), the thing that stuck out for me was that she didn't perceive it as a particularly scary scare. That didn't make sense to me. It's probably because I tried to think of it from my own perspective, which by necessity required me to think "what would make me scream?" I can't think of anything. It actually seems like an absurd question. I asked around and a lot of my friends said the same thing.... Actually, it seemed like that's exclusively what all the guys said. No guy I asked had an answer, or even allowed for a possibility. Then I thought about it and I don't think I've ever heard a guy scream at HHN.

So, I had to couch it in different terms, and remove the HHN element completely and think about what in the Real World would make me scream. Again, there was no real answer, but I landed on something interesting. When my Lady screamed, it was a reflex response, and it always is... Any time I've had that same reflex, it's been to throw a punch or square up or something. Basically my fight or flight response, when triggered, almost always lands on fight, and when it lands on flight, I'm like a puff of smoke : poof gone. The common thread is independence. What all this boiled down to in my mind is that the scream reflex is a scream for help. Or an alert, specifically, though the end result of both is the same.

I thought that was another idea worth throwing out into the ether. I'm always thinking about evolutionary bases when I'm in a situation where most of the behavior is governed by either pure instinct or pure reflex. HHN is almost entirely reflex-based. It makes for interesting Brain Food when you see some people respond to a scare in new interesting ways, but really all of a person's behavior from the time they walk through the gate at HHN has that undertone. For example, my natural tendency in houses and scarezones is something I've had to fight against to appreciate the event more, because my natural tendency is to keep my eyes forward and my ears back. That's just out of being in sketchy situations - I keep my eyes forward and don't turn my head so much because I'm using peripheral vision to basically detect motion, and keeping my ears back (ie, listen behind me) so nothing sneaks up on me. I still do it now unless I consciously avoid it, because that's how I'm hard-wired. My Lady... different story. To put it in perspective, the best example I can think of is in Scary Tales during Bloody Mary's year: she looked into the mirrors and got scared when something happened. That's not something that would ever even occur to me in the moment. Why? Well, because if you extrapolate that to a Real World situation with Actual Danger, that's the stupidest thing you could possibly do.

And then there's stuff that will just keep me guessing forever... I think I may have mentioned this in my other review, but I'm specifically thinking of one time where I saw a stilt walker scare a girl and her response - reflex response - was to fall onto the ground on her back. That makes no evolutionary sense. My Lady looking into mirrors in Scary Tales is different - she knew full well what she was doing, and it made it through cortex. As stupid as it would be to provoke Real Danger like that, what she was doing was cerebral and she was doing it for fun... Basically taking advantage of the safety of the environment and playing with it. Point is, it wasn't a reflex.

Who falls on their back as a reflex response to anything?! It'd be different if she fell to the ground the other way and sort of pulled a duck-and-cover - I've seen people do that. I've seen people do that in Real Life too, and it's usually a reasonable response to the sort of stimulus that provokes it - that's why we're taught to do it so young that most of us don't remember learning about it. A bomb goes off in the building you're sitting in, protecting your organs with your back and your head with your arms is a good move... Lying on your back, though? That's full vulnerability.

Anyhow. That's all I have to say about that. Or all I'm going to say, anyway. I won't bother updating my Counts.

marchofprogress · October 17, 2011

I began to Vogue while reading your first sentence.
1. It's a good thing she's watching out for the safety of mankind. But who watches the watchwoman? I never said you are a nihilist, I said you own nihilists. True nihilists should own nothing. People who say they are nihilists are generally people over the age of 21 who still live with their parents and they take what they have for granted. They also want people to dislike? Fear? Hate? Be annoyed at? them because they think it makes them mature. They are different from people who actually are nihilists, but true nihilists are hard to come by. I don't think I've ever met one.
2. I hate math. No, I hate theoretical math. I just argued with myself. I still hate it. Let's change this topic. Do you like to Time Warp?
3. Because if there is one thing prisoners hate more than democracy, it's people who force democracy on others until they die because of the amount of times they were forced to take part in democracy. I lost my train of thought halfway through that. It left me behind on the platform with a bouquet of flowers and a heart shaped box filled cyanide laced chocolates.
4. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
5. I know! I remember reading a book about a girl with Leukemia who tried to make enough cranes so she wouldn't die, but she didn't live long enough to finish making them. Thanks, public schools! If I ever get around to making 1000 folded cranes, I will do this to someone.
6. No, I will do this. It seems like a great conversation starter with the cashier who gives me dirty looks every time I walk into the store.
7. I don't own it and all the rental stores around me closed. Maybe it will be On Demand, but I rarely find movies I want to watch there.
8. I wasn't.
9. Is it from the Inbetweeners? I've never seen the show, but I have a vague idea of what it is about and I noticed you mentioned it in your review. Yeah.
10. The Internet- The most virtuous and pure place on Earth; filled with humility, humbleness, good deeds.

I vogue with every sentence!

1- Who watches the watchmen? If it's nihilists, we're all screwed. Basically it's a bad idea to leave a nihilist in charge of anything. I just think of The Big Lebowski.... "Must be exhausting.."

2- I only wish I knew how to Time Warp. . . . . wtf is a zumzink?

3- There are countless formulas for pressing flowers.

4- Four.

5- That story was friggin' horrible! "She tried to make enough cranes to not die. But uh. Died." I didn't even know this girl 20 minutes ago and now the story is Epic Sad For Life.

6- I'm glad I didn't have to come up with a way to make you lose a finger. . . Accountability is for losers.

7- Have you ever heard of bitTorrent? Me neither.

8- Eight.

9- No. And I was unaware that the inbetweeners was a show. Maybe that's why my brain refuses to think of the house by any other name? ... But, no, the skit was from a sketch comedy show called The State that used to be on MTV a million years ago. Pretty much the greatest show ever made.

10- One's Internet Education is not complete - nor is one's Internet Assimilation - until one has visited /b/ on 4chan, found it to be a ludicrous waste of time, then laughed hysterically like a loon at something posted there 4 hours later and immediately felt the cold grip of SHAME. The Internet is a great place to lose one's dignity. Or become a filthy nihilist. I mean, I just made a joke about some crane-folding girl who died of leukemia. That sort of nonsense would get me Shunned some places.

Wow.

... Well, mission successful, then.

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March finally made it to HHNXXI !

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