marchofprogress

I walked up a storm yesterday between the tour and seeing EVERYHING ... And by storm i mean blister. I intend to go tonight anyway. I'll be wearing my black Acid Bath Shirt with the cover of their album "When the Kite Strings" (painted by John Gacy and located Here). On the back it has another of Gacy's painting s- This one. Apparently most people find my glasses my most distinct feature since they're tinted pretty dark.... I will also have spraypainted my hair red and have hilite of blue and green gel in it (ie, I'll look like a fool) ....... It's amazing what my Girl has just lying about. The BANDANNA might come out too if you're lucky Again ..shoot me a txt if you want to hang: 646.322.6109. I promise I bite. . I can also promise nobody else is wearing that shirt, so if you see a guy in camo pants wearing that shirt probably with a bandaid hanging out of his pocket... He is I and I am he. Oh and I'll be labelled again

I'm going on the Tour to meet the Makers at 2...Think I'll probably stay around for HHN afterward. If I do, you can find me in camo pants and a friday the 13th shirt with Jason's mask on the front and "MADE IN HELL" on the back.. probably also a bandanna. perhaps a full blown HAT if the evening gets interesting! If anyone wnats to meet up beforehand and get a drink or something im just gonna be killing time... shoot me a text @ 646.322.6109

I completely forgot I bought my ticket to go today at 2p! WOO If anyone wants to say Hi ill be wearing camo pants and a Friday the 13th shirt with Jason's mask on front and "Made in hell" on the abck, probably also a bandanna. and maybe even a label. Hee hee. Afterwards I'm just killing time to go to hhn i think so... IF anyone wants to meet up... Text me at 646.322.6109....

Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying - I'm not sure how much "spoiling" can really be done.... If I tell you it's not really spoiling anything because you haven't seen it. Knowing what's going to happen doesn't ruin anything in the movie. I don't think so, anyway. But who knows, maybe Mr. Eko gets eaten by a smoke monster in the arctic. Arctic Smoke Monster - you think YOU have problems? Did you go through before and after seeing the movie? Also, I'd like to point out that Assimilation didn't have any spoilers in it - in fact, it was pretty much unrelated to the movie if you ask me. Several years later, I'm *still* not on board with having all the scareactors in the Thing house be military guys.... Since there aren't any of them in the movie and all... It's like if the NoES house was filled with aliens.

Leapfrog?! Who?

+1. That's just what my consciousness sounds like - I'm just glad other people finally get to hear it too!

Howsabout some DEETS!?

Puh-leeze! Scarezone for the Wizard of Oz + scarezone for Alice in Wonderland + most in-depth backstory EVER = No contest. I think Reflections was only made more awesome-r by Mary's house only having one mirror in it. Winning.

I vogue with every sentence! 1- Who watches the watchmen? If it's nihilists, we're all screwed. Basically it's a bad idea to leave a nihilist in charge of anything. I just think of The Big Lebowski.... "Must be exhausting.." 2- I only wish I knew how to Time Warp. . . . . wtf is a zumzink? 3- There are countless formulas for pressing flowers. 4- Four. 5- That story was friggin' horrible! "She tried to make enough cranes to not die. But uh. Died." I didn't even know this girl 20 minutes ago and now the story is Epic Sad For Life. 6- I'm glad I didn't have to come up with a way to make you lose a finger. . . Accountability is for losers. 7- Have you ever heard of bitTorrent? Me neither. 8- Eight. 9- No. And I was unaware that the inbetweeners was a show. Maybe that's why my brain refuses to think of the house by any other name? ... But, no, the skit was from a sketch comedy show called The State that used to be on MTV a million years ago. Pretty much the greatest show ever made. 10- One's Internet Education is not complete - nor is one's Internet Assimilation - until one has visited /b/ on 4chan, found it to be a ludicrous waste of time, then laughed hysterically like a loon at something posted there 4 hours later and immediately felt the cold grip of SHAME. The Internet is a great place to lose one's dignity. Or become a filthy nihilist. I mean, I just made a joke about some crane-folding girl who died of leukemia. That sort of nonsense would get me Shunned some places. ... Well, mission successful, then.

Now that the movie is out, I can finally ask : Does the house spoil the movie? I don't even really know that there's much to spoil in the movie, since it's a prequel with a known outcome ... So any spoilers would just be effects or something.. I guess. I don't even know.

Yeah, I'm counting two separate visits as my second trip to HHN... 2a: October 13, Thursday Normally I wait for 8pm so that I don't have to pay a billion dollars for parking to get in to HHN but I had some time to kill (soo o o o .. mu u u ch .. t i i i mme . .) and decided to check out HHN during the day, since I was in that part of town. Various sources (including the forums here) said that seeing everything was possible in one visit without using an express pass. I didn't believe that, and I still don't, since I've never had an experience at HHN that even comes close. In fact, I've never seen everything in one night, even when I've had an express pass. I've never really tried to, though - as I've said before, I like to gawk and take pictures and generally accumulate puddles of drool big enough to serve as amniotic fluid while I gestate my way around the park taking my sweet time (also, to slaughter the English language). So, Thursday I decided to actually try to see everything. I was going to keep a time log! It was going to be awesome! Then I remembered the reason I don't spend even MORE time at HHN : I really hate waiting in lines, but I really REALLY hate waiting in throngs. And that's exactly what the entrance to Uni was on Thursday, right down to the internal-brain-reference in my internal-brain-land - the first time I heard the word "throngs" was in a translation of Dante's Inferno, which referred to throngs of souls waiting to cross the river Styx. Spot on. Throngs of people waiting to enter Uni. So much humanity. It was gross. I kept accurate timestamps up to that point though. I keep time by Stops, which is just what it sounds like: it's where I stop moving. The first Stop for an HHN trip is usually the parking line. The next important Stop (though there are a few in between) is when I'm at the gate for Uni. All in all, the time between the parking Stop and the gate Stop was around 45 min on Thursday, and I was waiting in line/throng by around 6:50. And waiting. And Waiting. AND WAITING WAITING WAITING ... finally after I'd been standing there for around an hour and hadn't really moved, I just got tired of humans and walked away, went back to the parking garage, considered pretending I was Steve Buscemi in Fargo ("I decided not to park here . . . .") and went the eff home. I don't understand that line. 2b: Sunday, 10/16 Like I said, I don't understand that line . . . me and my Lady went again today ... Well, yesterday I guess - Sunday. And we stood in the gate line forever until we got to the front of the line - the metal detector. We both passed through that in about 30 seconds. For both of us. I just .. don't understand how this line could get so crowded. They don't even take tickets or anything there. It shouldn't take so long! It always does though, for some reason! Anyway we got into the park just before 9. I still wanted to try the 'see everything' plan. To me, reading over the plans that people describe to see everything, they all sound like extremely verbose ways of saying "Start at Forsaken. Go counter clockwise." But it also sounds like those plans really depend on being in the park at 630... To me, that's kind of silly. I don't attend Halloween Horror Days. It's not a daytime event. Anyhow, I figured that we could intercept that plan as if we'd been following it since 6:30, and that doing so would put us right in the middle somewhere, so it didn't matter if we went left or right when we walked in the park. Both me and my Lady also wanted to ride the Rock Roller Coaster so we went that way to see what the wait time was like... 75 minutes. Lame. The rest of the trip .... I'm not even going to bother with a full report: we didn't go in any houses. The wait times were all listed as 90 minutes, except Forsaken, which was listed as 75 minutes, and neither of us wanted to wait in line for that long... I don't know what's going on this year, but it seems like attendance is WAY up compared to the past few years. It's only since 08 that I've had the FFP and have taken the time to go over and over and over again, but I've never seen it so bad, ever. In fact, since 08 I have never waited in a line over an hour. I kind of refuse to do so.... In all the times I've gone to HHN - including the 4 or 5 times I went before 08 - I've only waited in line for more than an hour one time. That was for Nightmare on Elm Street in 2007 on a Saturday night. The wait time was actually around two hours, but I did that willingly because .. c'mon, NoES. Srsly! Never waited over an hour. Never even close, really...And since 08 I've seen every house... So that's one thing. I also noticed what I thought were changes from the last time I went, but they might not be... Specifically, I noticed that there were more chainsaws and more horrible smoke. Or at least there seemed to be.. I don't know. I hate both these things. Yes, hate them. I have a million reasons for disliking the chainsaws so much, not the least of which is that I consider it lazy. It takes no skill to pull a jumpscare out of someone when you've got a chainsaw. No effort required. Also - and I really don't like to say this in these forums because I know a lot of you are scareactors and I don't want to give the impression that I think the job is anything but an artform, and a difficult one at that - I've had almost exclusively bad experiences with scareactors with chainsaws. Specifically, they don't seem to ever go away! Many many times I've had to level with them as human beings, like "okay, cool, you buzzed at me, but I'm trying to have a conversation here and I can't hear the person I'm talking to when you're standing next to me like that - go away! seriously!" Put a chainsaw in their hands and suddenly they think it's cute to just hover over one person because they think they're giving good scares. No. Not good scares. Lame scares. If I had to give a percentage probability that something would give me nightmares, I give chainsaws none. None percent. It's just a loud noise. Loud noises are interchangeable. You could have a recording of applause that you play at people and you'll get a jumpscare. Hate the chainsaws. They make lazy. The smoke ... I rambled about that elsewhere I think.. but.. I mean, when I try to describe why I dislike the smoke so much, it seems so straightforward to me that I can't help but wonder how so much smoke ends up in the park.. When I walk through it I can't breathe, it dries out my contacts, so I can't see, it smells bad, etc. etc. etc. It certainly has its place. If you asked my personal opinion, I'd say that place was called "Containment" and we should move on and never have it again, but I recognize that other people have different tastes. Still, though, I can't help but wonder why it is that every.single.scarezone needs to be absolutely filled with smoke. That, too, just seems lazy... It's different if it has a practical purpose. If you have a scarezone that is all black with minimal lighting and scareactors dressed in all black, you're taking advantage of something that smoke enhances. A smoke screen! That's really the only reason NightMaze works. It's just that one gimmick. Well, that one gimmick is unnecessary elsewhere. And it becomes .... gimmicky if it's overused. So, yeah, those things. I may've incorrectly perceived just how pervasive they were because I hate them so much but it seemed like there were friggin' chainsaws and smoke everywhere... Also, I mentioned in my other review that the park seemed darker than I remembered, and I found that to be the case tonight as well. There are just so many little alleyways and places in the park that are absolutely pitch black. It's cool - it adds an element of actual visceral Scare to the event. Fact is most of the "scares" you get at an event like this are going to be jumpscares, which are playing off your startle response not your fear. That's just by necessity, since fear is generally so specific to a psyche. There are common fears that are evolution-based, though. The main one events like this can play with is really the most basic of all: simple fear of danger. And those black alleyways? That's danger. Sure Uni's got good security and all, so ACTUAL danger isn't really all that massive, but PERCEIVED danger is what they play with... And if you're not thinking about it you won't even really notice. So, that's pretty cool, I think. Perception is key, as are personality and experience. For example, my Lady gets a good scare every time we go through Night Maze, even as short as it is. We usually end up only walking through the middle for about half of it anyway, since we veer off to the area outside the zone where possible (it's flanked by ramps that are blocked off by the walls, if I'm not mistaken). Actually, it even got a scream out of her last time (more on that in a moment). Just as much as she is prone to getting a scare here, I am prone to the opposite. I worked as a private investigator for a while and have done other things at one time or another that have put me in situations where I've had to be quick on my feet and not only take in my environment as quickly as possible, but use it to my advantage to prevent what is basically the whole tactic used in Nightmaze: sneakiness. The scareactors in this zone are awesome, but really they aren't doing anything but being there. They're silent, and they don't have fancy horror makeup or anything. They're not particularly menacing. The scares come from them appearing. Well, if you're a person like me , one-time denizen of NYC and some pretty skeezy neighborhoods in NJ and FL, with actual training as a PI and..other.. experiences.... Not very easy to just apear in front of me, even when I'm actively trying to allow it. At the same time, I'm a big wuss when it comes to some things. For example, I kind of don't even particularly want to go through the Nightengales house because those creatures are freaky and I don't like so much loud noise (which is odd coming from a metal guitarist....). They don't need to sneak up. Anyway, that's one thought I figured was worth sharing. The one that's been bouncing around in my head more, though, is what makes people scream. My Lady screamed at one of the scareactors in Nightmaze last time, and I didn't think people did that unless they were totally drunk, or if they did I didn't think they did it unless they got a really good scare. While that scare did make her scream (the only thing at HHN that has as many times as I've gone with her), the thing that stuck out for me was that she didn't perceive it as a particularly scary scare. That didn't make sense to me. It's probably because I tried to think of it from my own perspective, which by necessity required me to think "what would make me scream?" I can't think of anything. It actually seems like an absurd question. I asked around and a lot of my friends said the same thing.... Actually, it seemed like that's exclusively what all the guys said. No guy I asked had an answer, or even allowed for a possibility. Then I thought about it and I don't think I've ever heard a guy scream at HHN. So, I had to couch it in different terms, and remove the HHN element completely and think about what in the Real World would make me scream. Again, there was no real answer, but I landed on something interesting. When my Lady screamed, it was a reflex response, and it always is... Any time I've had that same reflex, it's been to throw a punch or square up or something. Basically my fight or flight response, when triggered, almost always lands on fight, and when it lands on flight, I'm like a puff of smoke : poof gone. The common thread is independence. What all this boiled down to in my mind is that the scream reflex is a scream for help. Or an alert, specifically, though the end result of both is the same. I thought that was another idea worth throwing out into the ether. I'm always thinking about evolutionary bases when I'm in a situation where most of the behavior is governed by either pure instinct or pure reflex. HHN is almost entirely reflex-based. It makes for interesting Brain Food when you see some people respond to a scare in new interesting ways, but really all of a person's behavior from the time they walk through the gate at HHN has that undertone. For example, my natural tendency in houses and scarezones is something I've had to fight against to appreciate the event more, because my natural tendency is to keep my eyes forward and my ears back. That's just out of being in sketchy situations - I keep my eyes forward and don't turn my head so much because I'm using peripheral vision to basically detect motion, and keeping my ears back (ie, listen behind me) so nothing sneaks up on me. I still do it now unless I consciously avoid it, because that's how I'm hard-wired. My Lady... different story. To put it in perspective, the best example I can think of is in Scary Tales during Bloody Mary's year: she looked into the mirrors and got scared when something happened. That's not something that would ever even occur to me in the moment. Why? Well, because if you extrapolate that to a Real World situation with Actual Danger, that's the stupidest thing you could possibly do. And then there's stuff that will just keep me guessing forever... I think I may have mentioned this in my other review, but I'm specifically thinking of one time where I saw a stilt walker scare a girl and her response - reflex response - was to fall onto the ground on her back. That makes no evolutionary sense. My Lady looking into mirrors in Scary Tales is different - she knew full well what she was doing, and it made it through cortex. As stupid as it would be to provoke Real Danger like that, what she was doing was cerebral and she was doing it for fun... Basically taking advantage of the safety of the environment and playing with it. Point is, it wasn't a reflex. Who falls on their back as a reflex response to anything?! It'd be different if she fell to the ground the other way and sort of pulled a duck-and-cover - I've seen people do that. I've seen people do that in Real Life too, and it's usually a reasonable response to the sort of stimulus that provokes it - that's why we're taught to do it so young that most of us don't remember learning about it. A bomb goes off in the building you're sitting in, protecting your organs with your back and your head with your arms is a good move... Lying on your back, though? That's full vulnerability. Anyhow. That's all I have to say about that. Or all I'm going to say, anyway. I won't bother updating my Counts.

S... So what you're saying..is.... you .... burned someone's face off in first grade? And you just pass that off with "Pishaw" ? That's a bit .... blase, dont you think? That's cold!! ..... ... Flames on her stage = Photoshopped out by my brain because I just thought of them as lazy. Like "sins, hell, damnation, fire, get it?!" <<< Lame. Too lame and lazy to be remembered by me as part of HHN. I'd give other examples of things I've Brantoshopped out in the past but - surprise - I can't think of any! Lists were always The Vogue - they're wearing them in Pahhhhhris. 1- According to one girl who's known me since approximately 8th grade, the reason she still talks to me after so long is this: "I'm pretty sure you're going to start a revolution as soon as I turn my back." So. There's that. And I wouldn't say I'm a nihilist ........ then again, neither would a nihilist, because that would be declaring a belief, wouldn't it? 2- I wasn't contradicting anything. Most of the people I know fall well within what I consider 'normal' .... That is, in all personal characteristics, they fall between -1 standard deviation and +1 standard deviation, just like 68% of people are wont to do. There are outliers, but I don't want to start integrating the normal curve equation again. It angers me. Yes, there is an integral that causes me real, actual, palpable anger - once you integrate the normal curve from -1 to +1 you eventually get to a point where the proper solution involves ERF, the "error function." Which translates to "math made it up." Don't get me started. What were we talking about again? Stupidly Advanced Calculus, right? W.....why would we bother talking about that? 3- You're right - I suppose I was thinking of the coopers, and jail. "I killed fiddy men - what are you in for" "I...forced..someone to vote....uh... a lot. Like, many, many times. :::becomes somebody's girlfriend right away, before even finishing his explanation::::" 4- We're all also whores. Everybody has a price. Hey, now, wait a minute . . . 5- The crane thing is a real tradition. It's equally inconvenient too - it makes a great gift. Next time you're trying to woo a guy/girl/whatever else, give them a thousand paper cranes and tell them they're all hand folded just like Japanese tradition dictates, and attach as much importance as you can to the gift. Be sure to constantly look for the cranes. Ask, even. "Hey where are my cranes?" That way they have to keep them. It really is amazing what kind of self-amusement you can conduct with enough time on your hands... 6- If you were lying about this, you will lose a finger within the next four hours. 7- Screw the stupid water nuns - go watch The Usual Suspects right now. RIGHT NOW. 8- I know - I was bs'ing. Duh. 9- I *really* wish I could link you to the skit I was referencing but I can't find a version of it online . . . . DANG. ..... sorry for cussin'. 10- Ain't no way you gonna get a full education on Sin from the Internet .....

Me: Hey LostAlice and the rest of the HHN Mafia, why don't we say that every night at 10:30 we can all meet in the chat room for all sorts of fun times? You and the rest of the HHN Mafia: Wow, March, You just accomplished more in one sentence than Obama has in the past 18 months! Me: Can has piece of Triforce? You and the rest of the HHN Mafia: No. You BUM. Me: That is mean. Will you at least pray with me, you and the rest of the HHN Mafia? Us, a United People: May the way of the hero lead to the Triforce! There's nothing complicated about that! I never see more than one person in the chat room, and I never catch them. And this is all I do besides go to HHN - I haven't seen noontime sunlight since I started staring at the HHN page hitting F5 back in May.

B-b-b-but ... one person in the reviews for Poe said that I didn't get to go on the Tour Where You Get To Harass A&D After on Wednesday but I think it'll be good to go through Poe in the dark before seeing it in the light. I'm sure there are *TONS* of Easter Eggyweggs for Poenerds like me. How come the Lust girls look the same as the acid assault people? Is the idea that they were so lustful they went to NY? It is a pretty gritty place...

You would be a fashion designer: saying stuff's out of style then just bringing it back without any change whatsoever? Lame. I'm going to change it up and start a NEW list. 1-I have been conversing on the same several topics for over ten years with some of my friends. Conversations don't end unless they're boring or worthless, like me. 2- I don't wanna know about your weird face-licking friend - such people as these are not welcome in my Normalcy. 3- Cooping is a theory - and actually closer to a fact - about a factor that contributed to his death, not caused it. You can't be cooped to death, can you? .... That would be the worst thing ever! You'd be hanging out at the water cooler in heaven with people being like "i was killed in world war two killing some nazis [pronounced NAH-zees] - so how'd you get in?" and you'd be like "mumblemumble they made me vote a lot mumblemumble" ... I'd venture to say that the rampant drinking and syph were probably closer to cause. The cooping would just leave you exhausted. .......... ......... .......... Or, you know, maybe Courtney did it. 4- Any girl who removes any article of clothing under any circumstance in any setting is a stripper. 5- Why would you say "this" 1000 times? Is it like that thing where you fold a thousand origami cranes and give them to someone for good luck / to throw out for you ? 6- "I just wanted to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic" = something to say to the cashier at 7-11 next time you go in 7- I'm glad I have a fan. We are turning my thread into the most popular discussion forum since Athens. The movie needed the Tyler-Durden-In-A-Palm-Tree-Shadow image from the book. Also, do you wanna know who Keyser Soze is?! Be careful man - I've seen a lot of movies I can ruin! And not just popular ones! 8- Yes, she certainly is . I can't stretch that to make sense, and I am basically a phD in BSing..... 9- I made the universal "turn the mirror around dumb-butt - you're supposed to be looking at you" gesture .... That's as good as saying something. The waiter, being dyslexic, mistook the gesture for the international sign for bring table 5 a wheelbarrow full of beets. 10- You've amassed a thorough and complete knowledge of Sin in an *HOUR*? Holy heck, Batman, what did you do in that hour?! It ain't a race! As far as LITERARY knowledge, yeah you can slam that all together on the internet pretty quick but then again my summary was brief (at least by my standards.... My thesis was like 120 pages and I thought that was kinda short). I didn't even mention Augustine. Or get further into the differences between the sins, or say WHY Dante did what he did with them, or describe the dozen developments between the pope writing 'em down and Dante playing with them. There's always more to say. Nor did I get into how The Beautiful People isn't a song encouraging sin but pretty strongly lambasting it.... "hey you what do you see, something beautiful something free, hey you are you trying to be mean? you live with apes, man, it's hard to be clean" ..... But don't get me started on Manson because that thread would get really long.

Security guards can always be worse, but that goes backwards too: he could've been understanding and been like "finish your beer you got thirty seconds" ... Oh well, eff'm. Gotta remember that alcohol itself isnt the only moneymaker at Uni - the manufacturers of the stuff they serve are paying for advertising and all as well. . .QUICK: What kinds of beer can you get at HHN? Bet you know! If you're a beer drinker anyway. About the shot... the whiskey I got tasted watered to me. But what do I know? It doesn't matter anyway since the shot cost more than a mixed drink - I seriously think the neat whiskey was $12..... Now, to address the most important point of this discussion (and most others that I have) : Fiddy. What matters - what he thought, what he wrote, what he said, or what he meant? Because what he thought/meant/(probably)wrote is bub. That's a given. But what the man *said* was "buh" I hear it cluhrly. In fact, I'm going to go listen to the song right now. I'll be back in Three Minutes and Thirty-Nine seconds. Why do I know that? Because back in 2003 my roommate's new years resolution was to listen to the song once a day every day. He made it all the way to May when he blew out his speakers. For some reason nobody wanted to give him a new set.... There, I listened. Clearly Buh. We can agree to disagree. Either way, this thread seems to have been hijacked by absurdity, which was not my intention! Never a full hijack!

You people put me to shame and I don't know why. I went 1 night and saw 2 houses. That's it. Are you people who end up seeing the houses 155 times in 2 days the people I see literally running from house to house? If so ..... I'm not one of you. And that makes me sad because I'm not one of anybody, and I thought that on this forum I could be one of you because you all are possibly as strange as I am. But the shirt I have that says "Bomb Squad - If you see me running, try to catch up" is true. If you're not crazy runners, how do you do it?! It seems like it'd have to be just luck, because I had several routes people mentioned logged in my head and none of them seemed like they wouldve worked - you'll always end up waiting 45 minutes (so uh, more than an hour) for more than one house, I think. I've only *EVER* been able to go through a house more than once : Scary Tales in 08. HOW DO YOU SEE THE SAME HOUSE 9 TIMES IN TWO DAYS?! I mean... we got right to it but only saw 2 houses Sunday. Also I guess it doesn't help that we didn't get in the parking line til around 8 and we left the park around 1130 so .. not much time. Really wish I went tonight to see it on a Thursday! I'm extrapolating based on what I saw and I think I have to go every remaining FFP night to see everything, and I still think I'm going to play Pickup (that's where I go on Halloween, when HHN is - for some reason- supposedly empty).

Lacking any other navigational system whatsoever, my brother once drove a ride-on lawnmower into an above-ground pool. I'm not that bad, but lacking no other reasonable navigational system, I'll respond to your listed lists as lists: The First: 1-People who hear handshakes are one of the most popular ways germs are spread and decide to change their behavior by beginning to simply lick others' faces upon meeting them = My Kind Of People. I say, instead of being a wuss and compensating by - psh - washing your hands if you have a cold, you should just go all the way with it. Good job. If I knew your friend, I would award him a Piece of the Triforce, but since I only know you vicariously, I offer you .... I don't know, five arrows, or a rupee or something. Just *a* rupee- one of those green ones. Don't get any ideas - you're not LIl Wayne. 2- I said I was solipsistic I didn't say I have a good memory. So, SENILITY TRUMP CARD! ... I was saving that one for when I'm actually old and make an actual mistake ("Who killed a prostitute? What's a prostitute? :::pees self:::") but it'll have to do here. Should've brought smoke bombs. 3 The real question is ... Why did you not put one there? Maintaining the integrity of the original, or just ripping it off? Scoundrel. 4- I think I mentioned my broken Compass in my original post (I don't know - who has time to read all that?) but my Internal Compass points me to just do whatever's funniest to me at the moment. Saying "lulz" ? No win. If you really want to Charlie Sheen it up ..... I got a few more tricks up my sleeve. 5- I'd respond with something clever but here's the thing ... Madness drips out like molasses between the corner formed by the wall and the ceiling. And it gets real sad when you see it coming. You have to not pay attention for a really long time, but once it gets on you, it isn't coming off. I've been hit with more than a few sticky drops - it's no fun. HOWEVER...... apathy is smarter - it comes in through the floor. You can be knee deep before you know it and it can make you care so little that you dont even compl Reiterating Inferno? That wouldn'tve been good. The seven sins aren't represented in Inferno. 1- Write this down and hold me to it: any plan - ANY plan - which involves the phrases "giant" "horizontal fan" "tumbling" and "simulators" is a plan that I will vote YES for as many times as they'll let me, and I will even gladly participate in a large number of Coopings (if you don't know what a coop is, you should look it up, since it was part of Poe's death) to enact this plan. Let's do it now. 2- Yeah gluttony's easy... You don't even need a stage, really : at HHN you're bound to find someone doublefisting expensive beers and someone doublefisting anonymous huge animal legs (they *say* they're turkey legs but, cmon...) 3- She was choking on her own stuff and stuff? I missed that and stuff. See, whenever I saw the minions, three of them were doing something: the Pride girl was looking at herself in the mirror, the Gluttony girl was eating, and the Envy girl was ....... having a snake.... ...... ..... But yeah the rest of them were just dancing semi-seductively (think Uni told them during casting that they were supposed to dance like enchantresses, or just went ahead and said "Strippers"?) 4- How about this : Don't have Sloth dancing around, or I *will* be prone to attack on the basis of Incorrect 5- What you described is the best idea I've ever heard. Plus it'd keep at least one of the stupid Drill Team off the streets. Yes I hate the chainsaw drill team. They wouldn't leave us alone back in 07 when we lost somebody and we were on phones trying to find them and stuff. Just kept revving the chansaw even after we were like 'seriously man, go away, this is kinda important...' ...... AHem, sidetrack. 6- I wanted to see if any of my loyal fans on the forums - I'm sure I have at least a thousand by now - would notice that the list went up to 8. Then you come in and ruin it. Oh yeah? WELL 7- I will say this about Envy's snake: it totally helped that the snake was the fakest looking thing I've ever seen in my entire life! 8- VANITY FTW. When I walked by her the last time she TURNED THE MIRROR AROUND TO FACE ME. I almost had to ...like ... tell her a thing or two..... If they turned the whole park into Inferno, I'd just let whatever was down at the bottom eat me and die happy because that would be the coolest thing I have ever seen. For now we're stuck with scantily clad women and Marilyn Manson - Psh! How lame is th- -- actually, that's kinda cool. More Manson, Less Clothes! Incidentally, the second time we walked through on Sunday, a burny face guy and a doctor guy got up in my Lady Friend's face and were menacing, and between that and the beautiful people I was like "wow, I have been to concerts EXACTLY like this. At least five of them!" Yes I've seen MM at least five times! Yes I've seen him so many times I've lost count and have to say "at least"! That's not the point! I didn't go to HHN tonight for reasons discussed elsewhere, but thanks for asking, and for telling me my background info was unnecessary! Psh, you know how long it took me to amass that amount of knowledge on Sin? Not everybody knows! .... Sinner. (PS I didn't get the Lil Wayne reference either)

ARE YOU JUST ING LYING!?

If you were wtfing the "pronounced 'shheduled'" just think of an old English guy in a powdered wig shaking his jowls being serious. That old English guy in a powdered wig shaking his jowls being serious is, of course, me. If you were wtfing the whole post .... I can second my own motion, can't I? Are you one of those people who runs for office and doesn't vote for himself? (me = ran for president of senior class back in high school and didn't vote for myself - I thought it was improper manners!!)

So when do you suggest? On Sunday the line was 45+ every time we checked (and we kept checking - I want to ride that coaster and the only time I go to Uni is HHN!)

In decreasing order of importance: Re: relevant stuff. Agree: People get drunk at public events. Agree: foolish to ban liquor outright. But.... Think about this. In order to curb smoking habits in interest of public health (among other reasons), the taxes on cigarettes in NYC are enormous - last I heard a pack cost 9 dollars in Manhattan. Same logic at HHN. Ninety dollars for a beer means that the people who get drunk are spending a whollllle lot of money to do so, which means two things: A- The people who are drunk would get drunk whether the beer was sold there or not, because they are committed to it, and B - Universal's never going to stop selling alcohol at HHN, ever, ever, ever, until they are forced by the gubment - it's too big a moneymaker (and makes people spend even more money because of impaired judgement!). What you and others see as a Problem, Uni sees as a HUGE Bottom Line. And they can always hide behind "you don't like it? Don't go!" and even if many many people boycotted the event because they sold alcohol ("Puritans," I think they're called), they wouldn't make a dent in Uni's Bottom Line. There's a lot of artistry and wonderful fantastic things that go into HHN, but when it comes down to it, it is a profit machine. This is not a public service Uni provides for fun. They're doing it because when you walk in the gate they've already got 50 bucks from you. Next time you go, look around you. Every one of those people gave Uni at least 50 bucks. I gave them 90 for my ticket, and if all goes as planned I'll have given them well over 200 bucks by the end of it all. Some of that may even be ninety dollar beers - who knows? So, you say some people can handle their alcohol and some people cant........ I'd like to add that some people can handle their drunks and some people cant. I know Uni can. Uni squeezes them for profits! Another suggestion for next time you're there : hit one of the bars and get a shot of something that you know the taste of. For me, that was a whiskey, neat. Taste said drink. Does it not taste watered down? Did you not expect it to? The beers are ninety dollars each and I don't know about you but I'm 6' just under 200lb and not a drinker, but I could put away a six pack and my size + the time that passes = me maybe having a cool little buzz but there's no puking or bad decisions involved. I can say the same thing about my Lady Friend, who's almost 80 pounds lighter than me. Maybe if SHE sat and drank six beers in a row she might be pretty drunken but ... Meh. Now think about the DRUNK people you see at HHN and try to think of how much it took to get them that drunk. Keep in mind that the liquor is watered down. Keep in mind that the beers are ninety a pop, and that the liquor drinks are five hundred a pop. Extrapolate. Do math. Carry the ones. Look at that DRUNK person. How much money did they drop to get that drunk? I have literally tried to get smashed at HHN. I budgeted 60 bucks to get drunk throughout the night. Maybe around 10 I started feeling a little lightheaded and tipsy, but when the park closed I was fine - I drove home, which was against the plan. I had a friend meet me there to drive me home because I planned on being too bombed to drive. Nope. Would've taken twice that much. So suppose you're the average HHN goer. You probably go on a peak night, so you probably pay about 70 right away. Then you probably want to show up to get the most out of your ticket and be there when the event starts, so you get there before 8, so they hit you for another 12 for parking. Then you're in the park. You've already spent 82 dollars. If you take the results of my experiment and say that it takes 2x as much to make you drunk.... then.... by the time you're puking in the bushes making a fool out of yourself, Uni's probably squeezed you for 300 bucks, at least. Now look around at everyone else. And imagine you're Uni. Do you really care at all if the guy puking in the bushes ruins someone's experience? Eff someone else's experience - they got 82 dollars out of that someone else too. Bottom line, bottom line, bottom line. This discussion has happened every year since as long as I can remember. Every year people say thisandthat has to be done about alcohol... Well, once you realize that alcohols never ever going to be banned from HHN, you'll see that not only is the "what can be done" already occurring (that is, charging way too much), but it's fueling the fire to make it enough of a moneymaker that there's never going to be any ban! On top of that, I bet that for every person that can be assembled to boycott HHN until it becomes a dry event, there's at least two who will boycott it if they hear liquor is not served. So, let's get real here. People get drunk at HHN, some of them get stupidly drunk, stupid people do stupid things, let them do it, who cares ? I certainly don't. I welcome it. Want to know why? Because the past few years have been economic Poo, and I believe that the profit margin on the liquor is part of what's keeping the doors open at HHN to begin with, and I am grateful for that. Uni is a corporation - a legal entity designed almost specifically to make sociopathic urges allowable - but HHN is way more than that to me. To all of us. And I say that if it takes one out of every thousand people getting stupidly drunk and puking in a bush to keep HHN alive........Make it two out of every thousand and add more scares. Re: Fiddy: Sure, the lyric sheet says bub as in bubbly ...... But .... If I believed everything that people were *supposed* to say (or supposed to have said) rather than what they *did* say, then I could no longer rank Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon as one of the most Epic Fails of all time. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" ? In that sentence, 'man' and 'mankind' are referring to the same entity. He obviously *meant* to say "one small step for A man," to offer that juxtaposition the entire phrase depends upon to have any value beyond the tautological or just absurd...... But that isn't what he *did* say. Similarly, what's written in 50 Cent's lyric sheet/Faustian contract - whatever is written is written, what he *says* is "Buh"..... And if that isn't enough proof, I have a photograph of me and a friend holding up what are clearly labelled bottles of Buh. So that's proof itself! PHOTOGRAPHIC proof! Re: Cop taking me to jail: I grow weary of talking about this since it's at best tangential to the topic......I don't believe there was any possibility of me going to jail, and if I was breaking a law, it's the stupidest law I've ever heard of because if I met him coming the other way, I wouldn't be breaking it. I don't think laws should depend on which way I'm facing. But, okay, fine, I'm grateful the security guard didn't call OPD to send a squad car with two armed uniformed policemen to come pick me up and take me to 33rd street on charges of ...what are we saying I did again?......doesnt matter....charges of Whatever, then spend an hour or so filling out a bunch of paperwork being grateful they got one more sober non-violent guy off the street, because then I'd have to be booked into the jail, wait to be bonded out, then wait in the mail for a notice of Hearing from the Court, then show up at that hearing, have the cop not show up because cops don't waste their time showing up at hearings that are wastes of their time, then having the charges dropped as a nolle pros because there's no witness or at the very worst case, I'd be issued a citation for .... what? Public intoxication is a Real Crime. Underage drinking is a Real Crime. What would I get ticketed for? Possession of buh? Fine of 12 dollars? ..... No, sorry, I'm not actively going to be grateful I wasn't taken to jail because that is ridiculous. If I lived in constant gratitude that I'm not being taken away to jail, I'd shoot myself in the face right now. It's that kind of thinking - gratitude for not having basic rights violated - that leads to a fascist state. We must be careful with acceptance and complacency. And be even more careful with unrealistic expectation: the only reason that security guard would've called the cops was if I started trouble, and then it wouldn't be for Possession Of Buh (which carries a mandatory life sentence), but for Punching A Stupid Security Guard In The Throat or some other unrelated but Real law. He may as well have said he was going to count to 3 or that Santa would know I'd been naughty. (PS - Seriously how do you eff up the first words spoken on the moon? Did he not have enough time to rehearse during the trip?)

W ... Wow, that was the year before, wasn't it? Jeez - am I losing my hair yet!?!?

I would just like to point out that if you said this to somebody in a casual setting with no preface, you would sound completely mad.

Here, here! I second this young fellows motion and suggest scheduled (pronounced "shheduled") meeting times!!