marchofprogress

October 21, 2011

I went on the Face the Fear Makers tour on 10/19/11. I am actually glad I planned this out in advance (I don’t plan any of my regular HHN visits out in advance except that I try to be there on Halloween). I’ll back up a bit to explain why:

My father was a Teamster in NYC and worked in the movie business. He was also a really bright guy and quite handy, so he helped come up with a lot of effects in films, both special effects and simple things that were to save the director’s butt. Example of latter: there was one movie where two characters were outside talking in the “summer” but it was actually the middle of winter, so their breath was very visible on camera. They were about to shut down the shoot and prolong… well, everything… but my dad suggested that they both be smoking cigarettes (duh). Done!

Example of the former is more impressive since so many people know it: the scene in The Godfather where the guy is lying face down and he gets shot through the eye (and his glasses) was an effect my dad created because nobody in the effects department could figure it out.

As a Teamster, he did a lot of hanging around on filmsets and he was drawn to makeup and effects departments. So he’d seen a lot of tricks and such and he’d screw around with them with me and my brother. On top of that, my mom has a ridiculous talent for applying Halloween makeup (we have no idea where that came from – I like to think she’s a superhero with a particularly lame super power). She did all our Halloween makeups until I started doing them all around age 10 or something.

Point is, I’ve been around movie makeup forever, and it’s what I’ve wanted to do since I was a little kid. I have the Making of Michael Jackson’s Thriller video on a VHS that is barely watchable from me watching it over and over! So I have this dream.

Back in 09 me and my Lady went on the Behind the Screams tour and loved it – it’s easily one of the best HHN experiences I’ve ever had and I recommend it to anybody. The only people I wouldn’t recommend it to are people who would go through it and think that the awesomeness of that tour couldn’t possibly be topped by the event… You know, ‘cus they’d be wrong? =)

I didn’t have the money to go last year, but now that I’m unemployed and at a bit of a crossroads in life, I decided I’d not only go this year, but that I’d go to the tour where you sit down with people from A&D and ask a ton of questions. I wanted to know how to do what they do. Money be damned. Like I said, I’m unemployed, and even though I have two bachelors’ degrees, I’m going back to school at Seminole State so that I can get the loans to help me live…. Since I’m unemployed (living off student loans and generosity) I don’t have much money to throw around, but every time my student loan money comes in the first thing I do is buy my FFP.

It came time where this was fast approaching and I kept beating myself up over the ticket – it was going to be $100 that I don’t have…. But I got an email reminder from Universal, and suddenly I remembered that I already bought the ticket, based on the very very small chance that it could get me a job I might actually like! So… Woohoo!

I don’t really know what to say about the tour itself.. Which is why I’m posting this here and not in the thread on the tour… If you want to know what the tour is like, go check it out on Youtube – there are videos of the walkthrough of all three houses ( Forsaken, Nevermore and Hawthorn ). The only different part was the Q&A session afterward, which was interesting but I didn’t really get a satisfactory answer to my question, since the answer was basically “you want to get to where I’m at and do what I do? Okay step 1 – be me.” And to be honest I was so enthralled in the conversation I didn’t even take notes like I was going to. So …. It was awesome, but that’s all I’ve got to say! Sorry!

Anyhow when we walked out of the tour, there was already a line at the gate to get in to Uni. I thought that was great – I brought a sketchbook and everything thinking I was going to have to kill time. It was also great too because it would be the first time I’d get into the park at 630 for HHN (I think my previous record was 730, a whole hour later). I was still itching to try out the “You can see everything!” stuff that I talked about in my last post … And I wanted to see what the crowd looks like on a Wednesday.

Then an interesting thing happened, and it kept happening! Somehow, even though I was just quietly standing there staring off into space, people started asking me questions about the event! Lots of them! As if they knew that I was a ridiculous HHN geek! I *was* wearing a Friday the 13th shirt, but still – it was a little odd on Wed waiting to get in but it also happened while I was waiting to get in on Thurs (when I was with my Lady, not alone, and my Lady does *not* look like she knows HHN anywhere near as much as I do…. She looks normal and sane. =) People were even asking me questions on lines to go into the houses about really specific stuff. I have no idea how someone behind me in line at the Poe house asked me where the sprinklers were – if there were any, nor do I have any idea if he really figured I would know (…which, uh, I did). That was Thursday night, too, so I wasn’t even wearing my Jason shirt – I’m wearing a Big Lebowski shirt! Strange.

Anyway this nice guy started talking to me about the park and asking me what the best way was to handle it and stuff … I told him what I thought the online strategies boiled down to (“Start at Forsaken, go counterclockwise”) and then started giving him other little tips (“Don’t go into Saws when Bill and Ted gets out”) and just kept talking and such and finally I was like “you know, I’m not here with anybody, why don’t you just follow me? I have that map in my head.”

And he did! He followed me, then two other people from the line decided to follow us (they were listening in on what I was telling him), so when I got in I was already in a party of four. I won’ t mention where when or how or anything since I honestly don’t remember so clearly, but over the course of the night at least 10 people came and went from the “Follow This Guy” party. Maybe it was because I had “March of Progress” written on a giant piece of blue tape on my back, hoping someone from here would recognize me It was interesting.

So, on to the event itself… As a refresher, I had only been in the In Between and Winter’s Night before (on my first visit, since on my second visit-in-two-parts : I didn’t go into the park at all for part a and for part b we didn’t go into any houses) . So there was a lot to see… And as promised I followed the Incredibly Overcomplicated “go counter clockwise” plan I’d seen elsewhere, since other people have said they were able to see everything. Also I have so much faith in the sources that I told all three of the people following me not to use their Express passes until I told them to. Given what I’d read and what I was seeing as far as the Wednesday Night Crowd, I figured they wouldn’t need them at all. They all had to wander off before I told them to use the Express Passes but I told them that they could probably finish everything without it and that they shouldn’t use it at all until afterward to go back to see their favorites again.

FORSAKEN, WHICH IS A BOAT OR A SCENE OUT OF “THEY LIVE”

We got to Forsaken and the In Between and both signs said 5 minutes. I couldn’t believe it! I’d never ever seen a number that low! We got to go through it at a good speed too, and since I’d seen the house in the lights on preview earlier in the day, I even knew what I was looking at and everything.

It’s worth taking a second to elaborate on that for anyone who thought like I did. I held off on going on the lights-on tour until this week because I figured I would’ve seen all the houses by then with the lights out. I think that’s not really right… I think it’s way better to see the lights on tour first. It doesn’t ruin anything at all – it only enhances the experience. I didn’t even have to consciously turn off my tendency to remember where every scare was going to come from because there were just always so many. You can’t remember them all. I figured that out within the first minute of the tour.

Anyway Forsaken was really cool, and I think they may’ve changed it from the way it was earlier because I thought that the green eyes were terrific and the only time I saw the green eyes before a scare came was when we were walking on the deck above a bunch of them and they were sword fighting, so their eyes were really looking at each other, not at us. And it was very effective to have them stop fighting and freak us out – the scareactors down there were *relentless* and they must be completely exhausted by the end of their shift.

And of course, +1 to stuff that’s been said over and over and over about how unbelievable the sets are and everything. This house is top notch, no doubt.

Since I saw everything on this particular visit (we missed the Thing house and 7 when I went the next day), I am comfortable using a grading system here. Let me explain how I shall grade: I am under the impression that absolutely nobody goes on Halloween.

So, I’ll be the only one in attendance, plus anybody who wanted to come with me. At max it’s looking like it might be me and the Lady, if that.

We’ll just assume it’s me alone in the park. My rating system, then, is based on the number of times I think I’ll go through the house on Halloween when it’s just me and the scareactors.

Now, this may LOOK like a 10-point scale but I assure you it is not.

Got all that? : )

Forsaken : 10

THE IN BETWEEN(ers)

Next stop counterclockwise … The inbetween. I think I did all the rambling I’m going to do about how much I love this house in my first review. I think it’s fantastic even though I don’t see a lot of the 3d effects. The next time I go I’m going to wear my contacts specifically for this house so that I don’t have to wrassle the question of whether I put the 3d glasses on behind or In front of mine….

In Between : 9, expected to be a 10 when I go through with my contacts, and even if nothing seems to change then I’m going to bump it up to a 10 anyway when I go through with my contacts because the tunnel is that awesome.

NEVERMORE

Wish I knew on my first visit that the In Between’s exit drops you way the hell off in Baltimore … Just saying.

Anyhow this house is awweesommmmeee. E. .e. e. And I think the designers put a lot more Poe references in there than either tour guide mentioned (by “either” I mean the one I had and the one in the Youtube videos). Right away I noticed how many Oval Portraits there were. Also right away I noticed the large Gold Bug on the desk. People may say that’s coincidence (especially the presence of a bajillion Oval Portraits), but uh – no. Nothing is coincidence when you’re building it from scratch. No oversights or mistakes….

Well….. there…was..that… one…. Really….. REALLY…. Big mistake…. Which I am so sad that I have to deduct a FULL visit off for. The Red Death room. WHY AREN’T THE DANCERS’ ROOMS DIFFERENT COLORS??? Color is by far the most important symbol in the story! If the title doesn’t convince you of that just read the story and compare how much of it is devoted to describing Prospero’s mansion and all the colors vs. how much is devoted to … well… ANYTHING else. Reading the story it seems like every other word is a color.

And then… This too.. I have to deduct for. WHY WAS THE RED DEATH WEARING A SHINY RED ROBE? He’s supposed to show up dressed like a corpse (i.e., in black). I think the story even describes what he looks like and mentions his black clothes and skull ‘mask’ and says something along the lines of “and that would’ve been okay, except that the clothes and mask were dabbled in blood” – dabbled! He wasn’t wearing a shiny red robe! This ain’t no boxing match!

One thing I would deduct a point for is that not one of the Ravens I saw was on a bust, pallid or otherwise. I won’t deduct though because I may have just missed it. Another that I could deduct for just because it upset me is that for some reason it seemed to slip the house-makers’ minds that Lenore went to Heaven. That poem sticks out in his collection so much that you almost want to tear the page out. It’s a happy ending! …. Sad poem… .but… Having a tortured Lenore? No. Why not pick one of the other bajillion Poe women that have horrible fates? Last Poe-Fanboy thing I’ll mention that I could deduct for but won’t because of how awesome the house was generally: uh, dude escapes the Pendulum. Just wanted to clear that up.

Not-quite-fanboy thing I could but won’t deduct for: MORE friggin’ dudes dressed as birds?? Seriously?? If I haven’t made clear enough how silly I think that is I will shortly.

Overall though, guess what? THIS:

Nevermore: 9.

Why 9 when I deducted so many points, you ask? ……. I told you it wasn’t out of 10! =)

SAWS AND STEAM

…I can write both my reviews for this house here…. I…frankly…don’t really remember going through this. I know I did. Twice. But… I don’t know, maybe it’s because I just get annoyed at loud noises and try to get away from them as quickly as possible …. But I really don’t remember this house – literally not at all.

Saws n Steam: Guh? (that one is on a 1-10 scale)

HR BLOODENGUTZ

I barely want to say anything about this house because I love it so much and it’s all been said before. My review here and in my other review are going to be really short and sweet: I friggin love this house. … Actually, that’s the entirety of my review here!

Bloodengutz: 11

THE THING

After Bloodengutz I wanted to do Nightengales since I still didn’t want to go through the Thing yet without seeing the movie but the line was only five minutes for the thing and 20 for Nightengales (did I mention that all the lines this whole time were only 5 minutes?) … So we went through the Thing. This was the last house I went through with other people.

And uh… Lame. Sorry. Maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth from all the friggin military guys in Assimilation (which, by the way, caused this house to lose 2 points right off the bat even though it’s a different year and a different movie. I don’t care – they’re my arbitrary ratings and there WEREN’T ANY MILITARY GUYS WITH GUNS HANGING AROUND IN CARPENTER’S MOVIE….. ahem…), but I thought this was sorta … I don’t know… kid stuff. Amateurish. The kind of thing you’d see at a county fair… And I actually think I was probably going through during a shift change or something because there was… really not much going on in the house either …. So to explain why my score isn’t like -15 at such a poo house, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt and assuming that when I go through it on Halloween when I’m the only one in the park, it will be cool. I’m basing that on past experience: I’ve never been through a house at HHN that outright SUCKED. I was seriously tempted to just walk out one of the exits in here.

But like I said, I’m chalking that up to probable cast change.

The Thing (tentative): 4

NIGHTENGALES

Soooooo after that, as I said, I was now all alone, and staring my Big Fear right in the eye, since I’d pieced together that this house was the Superscary one, and since I knew it was going to be superscary because I hate those damn nasty big pointy teeth and I don’t like walking through really really deafeningly loud areas…

Back up.

Ok…. I thought HHN was “pretty cool, alright, kinda neat I guess” the first few times I went, but my love affair began in 07 when I got to go through Freddy’s House. I don’t say the Nightmare on Elm Street House, and I don’t even say 1412 Elm Street – I say Freddy’s House, knowing full well that Freddy didn’t live there in the movie. But in that House that year he sure did! That was another freakin’ dimension. That was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I’ve rambled elsewhere enough about the couple crazy visceral scares I got in this house that had me literally so panicked I missed the fact that we walked through the boiler room. That was terrifying.

Then, 08, Dead Exposure. ……. I know there are Dead Exposure haters out there (I have no idea how), but this house also scared the bejesus out of me.

There have been others but those are my top two examples: houses that I wouldn’t even really want to go into again because of how terrifying they are. I didn’t have the FFP in 07 and I was there on a Saturday so going in again wasn’t really plausible (instead we went to the stupid Thing house, which I’ll get to in a sec)….. But I got invited into Dead Exposure probably 4 times more and …. Nope. Wouldn’t do it. Too much for me. The hanging bodies room? No thank you.

I thought Nightengales was going to be this. And guess what? Uh, it was. But with a twist. This house was friggin’ terrifying too (doesn’t beat Freddy, but nothing ever will) but for some reason I had no problems going through it three times (one this night two the next) … I don’t know if I’ll do it again, since… its… you know, tarrying…. But… Yeah. Interesting house – it’s hard to toe that line.

I mean I even got a scare (a *scare* not a startle – like a visceral feeling of “that’s creepy”) when I saw one of the creatures the first time and noticed the nurse’s outfit. I knew they were supposed to be nurses but just thinking about it is different than seeing it. Creepy juxtaposition.

Also, I’m pretty sure this is the only house in HHN history that has given me a nightmare, because I “remember” seeing something in there that I’m not sure I actually saw. Is there a part in this house where there’s a guy standing there saying “Help me, help me” and then one of those horrible things runs up behind him and just starts eating him right in front of you? If I saw it I saw it the first time through - I dreamed it that night…. But then the second time through I didn’t see it (which is the whole reason I went through again). Crazy!

By the way, anybody who’s reading this (First, why are you still reading this – I’m not even reading it anymore), the sounds aren’t really as loud as I imagined they’d be. I thought they’d be intolerable. I was ai’ight.

Anyhow I’m giving this the only possible score:

Nightengales : 11 (Well, that’s …. One louder, innit?)

WINTERS NIGHT

… Friggin awesome, what else would it be? Plus now that I know where Mary Shaw’s tombstone is, I can kick myself when I see it and wonder how the hell I could’ve possibly missed it? It’s HUGE and not at ALL hidden.

Winters Night: 10

Those were the houses.

I took the scarezones out of there (and will do so in the next review too) because I can’t ever keep straight when, exactly, I go through them. And I imagine my scarezone reviews will be quick since nothing seems to be changing.

Also, I can’t give them scores on how many times I’ll go through them as the only person there on Halloween, so NO SCORES! Just …. Tweets, basically.

7: Actually only saw it once this visit: on the way in. They were still setting it up.

Stupid garden: Seriously, there’s still just like a few people dressed as birds? Cmon. This was even lamer in the daylight. Didn’t think that was possible.

Giant Skulls and Fire: Our path never took us through this zone ……. But I still hate the stupid smoke. I just did it from afar without being affected by it directly this time.

Nightmaze: Ditto.

Acid Assault: I love this place so much. I’m considering bringing a real chainsaw next time to take the damn “we ruin everything everywhere we go” chainsaw people out of the picture….. It’s like that Duchamp painting of the Mona Lisa where she’s got a mustache. Like QUIT RUINING ART AND THINKING YOURE AMAZING. God I hate chainsaws. But I love collapsing buildings. Also, +1 piece of the Triforce to the Acid Assault scareactor who stood next to me while I was filming one of the buildings collapsing – not to get a scare but to watch the video =)

Ten Billion Lady Lucks Can’t Be Wrong!: Nope, they still are. And the elves in Bloodengutz who are wearing the same mask do it better. Just …. Sell this zone on Ebay. Srsly. To any scareactors who may be reading this who work in this zone: …. …. Uh, no, no different message. Sell that garbage on Ebay, srsly.

So that’s my review from the tour day!

Final Score/Tally

I’ll put this in the next review since I’m gonna write it now.

October 20, 2011

I walked up a storm yesterday between the tour and seeing EVERYHING ... And by storm i mean blister.

I intend to go tonight anyway. I'll be wearing my black Acid Bath Shirt with the cover of their album "When the Kite Strings" (painted by John Gacy and located Here). On the back it has another of Gacy's painting s- This one.

Apparently most people find my glasses my most distinct feature since they're tinted pretty dark.... I will also have spraypainted my hair red and have hilite of blue and green gel in it (ie, I'll look like a fool) ....... It's amazing what my Girl has just lying about.

The BANDANNA might come out too if you're lucky Again ..shoot me a txt if you want to hang: 646.322.6109. I promise I bite. .

I can also promise nobody else is wearing that shirt, so if you see a guy in camo pants wearing that shirt probably with a bandaid hanging out of his pocket... He is I and I am he.

Oh and I'll be labelled again

October 19, 2011

I'm going on the Tour to meet the Makers at 2...Think I'll probably stay around for HHN afterward. If I do, you can find me in camo pants and a friday the 13th shirt with Jason's mask on the front and "MADE IN HELL" on the back.. probably also a bandanna. perhaps a full blown HAT if the evening gets interesting!

If anyone wnats to meet up beforehand and get a drink or something im just gonna be killing time... shoot me a text @ 646.322.6109

October 19, 2011

I completely forgot I bought my ticket to go today at 2p!

WOO

If anyone wants to say Hi ill be wearing camo pants and a Friday the 13th shirt with Jason's mask on front and "Made in hell" on the abck, probably also a bandanna. and maybe even a label. Hee hee.

Afterwards I'm just killing time to go to hhn i think so... IF anyone wants to meet up... Text me at 646.322.6109....

October 18, 2011

I haven't seen the movie yet, but having seen John Carpenter's version, I can say that they don't show a whole lot that I couldn't have probably guessed myself.

Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying - I'm not sure how much "spoiling" can really be done.... If I tell you

that a guy's head drips off and grows spidery legs and runs away in Carpenter's film,

it's not really spoiling anything because you haven't seen it. Knowing what's going to happen doesn't ruin anything in the movie. I don't think so, anyway. But who knows, maybe Mr. Eko gets eaten by a smoke monster in the arctic.

Arctic Smoke Monster - you think YOU have problems?

After seeing the movie you really can see the small details in every room that makes it feel like the movie. And no going through this house before seeing the movie won't ruin the movie. You really appreciate all the detail that was put in to replicate the scenes from the movie.

Did you go through before and after seeing the movie?

Also, I'd like to point out that Assimilation didn't have any spoilers in it - in fact, it was pretty much unrelated to the movie if you ask me. Several years later, I'm *still* not on board with having all the scareactors in the Thing house be military guys.... Since there aren't any of them in the movie and all... It's like if the NoES house was filled with aliens.

October 18, 2011

This zone has shocked me. From being near the bottom to kicking so much ass last week. On Sunday I sat and watched both cast about 2-3 times. While one cast has better women dancers. The other cast has better minions (LEAPFROG!) All and all this zone is near my number #1.

The Sloth's minions are some of the best hands down actors I've seen at this event this year.

Leapfrog?! Who?

October 17, 2011

Not Me!!! i could sit there all October listening to The Beautiful people :3

+1.

That's just what my consciousness sounds like - I'm just glad other people finally get to hear it too!

October 17, 2011

Yes. It was amazing. Yes, you should do it.

Best. Night. Ever.

Howsabout some DEETS!?

October 17, 2011

Puh-leeze! Scarezone for the Wizard of Oz + scarezone for Alice in Wonderland + most in-depth backstory EVER = No contest.

I think Reflections was only made more awesome-r by Mary's house only having one mirror in it. Winning.

October 17, 2011

I began to Vogue while reading your first sentence.
1. It's a good thing she's watching out for the safety of mankind. But who watches the watchwoman? I never said you are a nihilist, I said you own nihilists. True nihilists should own nothing. People who say they are nihilists are generally people over the age of 21 who still live with their parents and they take what they have for granted. They also want people to dislike? Fear? Hate? Be annoyed at? them because they think it makes them mature. They are different from people who actually are nihilists, but true nihilists are hard to come by. I don't think I've ever met one.
2. I hate math. No, I hate theoretical math. I just argued with myself. I still hate it. Let's change this topic. Do you like to Time Warp?
3. Because if there is one thing prisoners hate more than democracy, it's people who force democracy on others until they die because of the amount of times they were forced to take part in democracy. I lost my train of thought halfway through that. It left me behind on the platform with a bouquet of flowers and a heart shaped box filled cyanide laced chocolates.
4. If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
5. I know! I remember reading a book about a girl with Leukemia who tried to make enough cranes so she wouldn't die, but she didn't live long enough to finish making them. Thanks, public schools! If I ever get around to making 1000 folded cranes, I will do this to someone.
6. No, I will do this. It seems like a great conversation starter with the cashier who gives me dirty looks every time I walk into the store.
7. I don't own it and all the rental stores around me closed. Maybe it will be On Demand, but I rarely find movies I want to watch there.
8. I wasn't.
9. Is it from the Inbetweeners? I've never seen the show, but I have a vague idea of what it is about and I noticed you mentioned it in your review. Yeah.
10. The Internet- The most virtuous and pure place on Earth; filled with humility, humbleness, good deeds.

I vogue with every sentence!

1- Who watches the watchmen? If it's nihilists, we're all screwed. Basically it's a bad idea to leave a nihilist in charge of anything. I just think of The Big Lebowski.... "Must be exhausting.."

2- I only wish I knew how to Time Warp. . . . . wtf is a zumzink?

3- There are countless formulas for pressing flowers.

4- Four.

5- That story was friggin' horrible! "She tried to make enough cranes to not die. But uh. Died." I didn't even know this girl 20 minutes ago and now the story is Epic Sad For Life.

6- I'm glad I didn't have to come up with a way to make you lose a finger. . . Accountability is for losers.

7- Have you ever heard of bitTorrent? Me neither.

8- Eight.

9- No. And I was unaware that the inbetweeners was a show. Maybe that's why my brain refuses to think of the house by any other name? ... But, no, the skit was from a sketch comedy show called The State that used to be on MTV a million years ago. Pretty much the greatest show ever made.

10- One's Internet Education is not complete - nor is one's Internet Assimilation - until one has visited /b/ on 4chan, found it to be a ludicrous waste of time, then laughed hysterically like a loon at something posted there 4 hours later and immediately felt the cold grip of SHAME. The Internet is a great place to lose one's dignity. Or become a filthy nihilist. I mean, I just made a joke about some crane-folding girl who died of leukemia. That sort of nonsense would get me Shunned some places.

Wow.

... Well, mission successful, then.

October 17, 2011

Now that the movie is out, I can finally ask : Does the house spoil the movie?

I don't even really know that there's much to spoil in the movie, since it's a prequel with a known outcome ... So any spoilers would just be effects or something.. I guess. I don't even know.

October 17, 2011

Yeah, I'm counting two separate visits as my second trip to HHN...

2a: October 13, Thursday

Normally I wait for 8pm so that I don't have to pay a billion dollars for parking to get in to HHN but I had some time to kill (soo o o o .. mu u u ch .. t i i i mme . .) and decided to check out HHN during the day, since I was in that part of town. Various sources (including the forums here) said that seeing everything was possible in one visit without using an express pass. I didn't believe that, and I still don't, since I've never had an experience at HHN that even comes close. In fact, I've never seen everything in one night, even when I've had an express pass. I've never really tried to, though - as I've said before, I like to gawk and take pictures and generally accumulate puddles of drool big enough to serve as amniotic fluid while I gestate my way around the park taking my sweet time (also, to slaughter the English language). So, Thursday I decided to actually try to see everything. I was going to keep a time log! It was going to be awesome!

Then I remembered the reason I don't spend even MORE time at HHN : I really hate waiting in lines, but I really REALLY hate waiting in throngs. And that's exactly what the entrance to Uni was on Thursday, right down to the internal-brain-reference in my internal-brain-land - the first time I heard the word "throngs" was in a translation of Dante's Inferno, which referred to throngs of souls waiting to cross the river Styx. Spot on. Throngs of people waiting to enter Uni. So much humanity. It was gross.

I kept accurate timestamps up to that point though. I keep time by Stops, which is just what it sounds like: it's where I stop moving. The first Stop for an HHN trip is usually the parking line. The next important Stop (though there are a few in between) is when I'm at the gate for Uni. All in all, the time between the parking Stop and the gate Stop was around 45 min on Thursday, and I was waiting in line/throng by around 6:50.

And waiting. And Waiting. AND WAITING WAITING WAITING ... finally after I'd been standing there for around an hour and hadn't really moved, I just got tired of humans and walked away, went back to the parking garage, considered pretending I was Steve Buscemi in Fargo ("I decided not to park here . . . .") and went the eff home.

I don't understand that line.

2b: Sunday, 10/16

Like I said, I don't understand that line . . . me and my Lady went again today ... Well, yesterday I guess - Sunday. And we stood in the gate line forever until we got to the front of the line - the metal detector. We both passed through that in about 30 seconds. For both of us. I just .. don't understand how this line could get so crowded. They don't even take tickets or anything there. It shouldn't take so long! It always does though, for some reason!

Anyway we got into the park just before 9. I still wanted to try the 'see everything' plan. To me, reading over the plans that people describe to see everything, they all sound like extremely verbose ways of saying "Start at Forsaken. Go counter clockwise." But it also sounds like those plans really depend on being in the park at 630... To me, that's kind of silly. I don't attend Halloween Horror Days. It's not a daytime event. Anyhow, I figured that we could intercept that plan as if we'd been following it since 6:30, and that doing so would put us right in the middle somewhere, so it didn't matter if we went left or right when we walked in the park. Both me and my Lady also wanted to ride the Rock Roller Coaster so we went that way to see what the wait time was like... 75 minutes. Lame.

The rest of the trip .... I'm not even going to bother with a full report: we didn't go in any houses. The wait times were all listed as 90 minutes, except Forsaken, which was listed as 75 minutes, and neither of us wanted to wait in line for that long... I don't know what's going on this year, but it seems like attendance is WAY up compared to the past few years. It's only since 08 that I've had the FFP and have taken the time to go over and over and over again, but I've never seen it so bad, ever. In fact, since 08 I have never waited in a line over an hour. I kind of refuse to do so.... In all the times I've gone to HHN - including the 4 or 5 times I went before 08 - I've only waited in line for more than an hour one time. That was for Nightmare on Elm Street in 2007 on a Saturday night. The wait time was actually around two hours, but I did that willingly because .. c'mon, NoES. Srsly!

Never waited over an hour. Never even close, really...And since 08 I've seen every house...

So that's one thing.

I also noticed what I thought were changes from the last time I went, but they might not be... Specifically, I noticed that there were more chainsaws and more horrible smoke. Or at least there seemed to be.. I don't know. I hate both these things. Yes, hate them. I have a million reasons for disliking the chainsaws so much, not the least of which is that I consider it lazy. It takes no skill to pull a jumpscare out of someone when you've got a chainsaw. No effort required. Also - and I really don't like to say this in these forums because I know a lot of you are scareactors and I don't want to give the impression that I think the job is anything but an artform, and a difficult one at that - I've had almost exclusively bad experiences with scareactors with chainsaws. Specifically, they don't seem to ever go away! Many many times I've had to level with them as human beings, like "okay, cool, you buzzed at me, but I'm trying to have a conversation here and I can't hear the person I'm talking to when you're standing next to me like that - go away! seriously!" Put a chainsaw in their hands and suddenly they think it's cute to just hover over one person because they think they're giving good scares. No. Not good scares. Lame scares. If I had to give a percentage probability that something would give me nightmares, I give chainsaws none. None percent. It's just a loud noise. Loud noises are interchangeable. You could have a recording of applause that you play at people and you'll get a jumpscare. Hate the chainsaws. They make lazy.

The smoke ... I rambled about that elsewhere I think.. but.. I mean, when I try to describe why I dislike the smoke so much, it seems so straightforward to me that I can't help but wonder how so much smoke ends up in the park.. When I walk through it I can't breathe, it dries out my contacts, so I can't see, it smells bad, etc. etc. etc. It certainly has its place. If you asked my personal opinion, I'd say that place was called "Containment" and we should move on and never have it again, but I recognize that other people have different tastes. Still, though, I can't help but wonder why it is that every.single.scarezone needs to be absolutely filled with smoke. That, too, just seems lazy... It's different if it has a practical purpose. If you have a scarezone that is all black with minimal lighting and scareactors dressed in all black, you're taking advantage of something that smoke enhances. A smoke screen! That's really the only reason NightMaze works. It's just that one gimmick.

Well, that one gimmick is unnecessary elsewhere. And it becomes .... gimmicky if it's overused.

So, yeah, those things. I may've incorrectly perceived just how pervasive they were because I hate them so much but it seemed like there were friggin' chainsaws and smoke everywhere... Also, I mentioned in my other review that the park seemed darker than I remembered, and I found that to be the case tonight as well. There are just so many little alleyways and places in the park that are absolutely pitch black. It's cool - it adds an element of actual visceral Scare to the event. Fact is most of the "scares" you get at an event like this are going to be jumpscares, which are playing off your startle response not your fear. That's just by necessity, since fear is generally so specific to a psyche. There are common fears that are evolution-based, though. The main one events like this can play with is really the most basic of all: simple fear of danger. And those black alleyways? That's danger. Sure Uni's got good security and all, so ACTUAL danger isn't really all that massive, but PERCEIVED danger is what they play with... And if you're not thinking about it you won't even really notice. So, that's pretty cool, I think.

Perception is key, as are personality and experience. For example, my Lady gets a good scare every time we go through Night Maze, even as short as it is. We usually end up only walking through the middle for about half of it anyway, since we veer off to the area outside the zone where possible (it's flanked by ramps that are blocked off by the walls, if I'm not mistaken). Actually, it even got a scream out of her last time (more on that in a moment). Just as much as she is prone to getting a scare here, I am prone to the opposite. I worked as a private investigator for a while and have done other things at one time or another that have put me in situations where I've had to be quick on my feet and not only take in my environment as quickly as possible, but use it to my advantage to prevent what is basically the whole tactic used in Nightmaze: sneakiness. The scareactors in this zone are awesome, but really they aren't doing anything but being there. They're silent, and they don't have fancy horror makeup or anything. They're not particularly menacing. The scares come from them appearing. Well, if you're a person like me , one-time denizen of NYC and some pretty skeezy neighborhoods in NJ and FL, with actual training as a PI and..other.. experiences.... Not very easy to just apear in front of me, even when I'm actively trying to allow it.

At the same time, I'm a big wuss when it comes to some things. For example, I kind of don't even particularly want to go through the Nightengales house because those creatures are freaky and I don't like so much loud noise (which is odd coming from a metal guitarist....). They don't need to sneak up.

Anyway, that's one thought I figured was worth sharing.

The one that's been bouncing around in my head more, though, is what makes people scream. My Lady screamed at one of the scareactors in Nightmaze last time, and I didn't think people did that unless they were totally drunk, or if they did I didn't think they did it unless they got a really good scare. While that scare did make her scream (the only thing at HHN that has as many times as I've gone with her), the thing that stuck out for me was that she didn't perceive it as a particularly scary scare. That didn't make sense to me. It's probably because I tried to think of it from my own perspective, which by necessity required me to think "what would make me scream?" I can't think of anything. It actually seems like an absurd question. I asked around and a lot of my friends said the same thing.... Actually, it seemed like that's exclusively what all the guys said. No guy I asked had an answer, or even allowed for a possibility. Then I thought about it and I don't think I've ever heard a guy scream at HHN.

So, I had to couch it in different terms, and remove the HHN element completely and think about what in the Real World would make me scream. Again, there was no real answer, but I landed on something interesting. When my Lady screamed, it was a reflex response, and it always is... Any time I've had that same reflex, it's been to throw a punch or square up or something. Basically my fight or flight response, when triggered, almost always lands on fight, and when it lands on flight, I'm like a puff of smoke : poof gone. The common thread is independence. What all this boiled down to in my mind is that the scream reflex is a scream for help. Or an alert, specifically, though the end result of both is the same.

I thought that was another idea worth throwing out into the ether. I'm always thinking about evolutionary bases when I'm in a situation where most of the behavior is governed by either pure instinct or pure reflex. HHN is almost entirely reflex-based. It makes for interesting Brain Food when you see some people respond to a scare in new interesting ways, but really all of a person's behavior from the time they walk through the gate at HHN has that undertone. For example, my natural tendency in houses and scarezones is something I've had to fight against to appreciate the event more, because my natural tendency is to keep my eyes forward and my ears back. That's just out of being in sketchy situations - I keep my eyes forward and don't turn my head so much because I'm using peripheral vision to basically detect motion, and keeping my ears back (ie, listen behind me) so nothing sneaks up on me. I still do it now unless I consciously avoid it, because that's how I'm hard-wired. My Lady... different story. To put it in perspective, the best example I can think of is in Scary Tales during Bloody Mary's year: she looked into the mirrors and got scared when something happened. That's not something that would ever even occur to me in the moment. Why? Well, because if you extrapolate that to a Real World situation with Actual Danger, that's the stupidest thing you could possibly do.

And then there's stuff that will just keep me guessing forever... I think I may have mentioned this in my other review, but I'm specifically thinking of one time where I saw a stilt walker scare a girl and her response - reflex response - was to fall onto the ground on her back. That makes no evolutionary sense. My Lady looking into mirrors in Scary Tales is different - she knew full well what she was doing, and it made it through cortex. As stupid as it would be to provoke Real Danger like that, what she was doing was cerebral and she was doing it for fun... Basically taking advantage of the safety of the environment and playing with it. Point is, it wasn't a reflex.

Who falls on their back as a reflex response to anything?! It'd be different if she fell to the ground the other way and sort of pulled a duck-and-cover - I've seen people do that. I've seen people do that in Real Life too, and it's usually a reasonable response to the sort of stimulus that provokes it - that's why we're taught to do it so young that most of us don't remember learning about it. A bomb goes off in the building you're sitting in, protecting your organs with your back and your head with your arms is a good move... Lying on your back, though? That's full vulnerability.

Anyhow. That's all I have to say about that. Or all I'm going to say, anyway. I won't bother updating my Counts.

October 8, 2011

What??? You haven't heard of the saying "I'm so Lustful I could Burn Your Face Off"? I mean, that's first grade. Pishaw. I also assume that it has something to do with "being hot" or something like that. Like she's just so hot her face melted off. But really. It might just have been those dastardly flames on her stage. You can never trust such cardboard cutout decorations.

S... So what you're saying..is.... you .... burned someone's face off in first grade? And you just pass that off with "Pishaw" ? That's a bit .... blase, dont you think? That's cold!! ..... ...

Flames on her stage = Photoshopped out by my brain because I just thought of them as lazy. Like "sins, hell, damnation, fire, get it?!" <<< Lame. Too lame and lazy to be remembered by me as part of HHN.

I'd give other examples of things I've Brantoshopped out in the past but - surprise - I can't think of any!

I most certainly would be a poo fashion designer, I can barely even pick out what I want to wear, much less design what other people wear. Since lists are back in, but apparently with a twist, here is similar list in response to a list in response to the lack of a list.

1. I was going to say "You're not boring and worthless, you're unique and exciting" and then I realized, I don't actually know you and for all I do know about you, you could own an anarchistic society of Nihilists whose soul purpose is to devalue everything. I hope that made you feel the same.
2. -valley girl voice- "Hey guys; it's me, A Contradiction and I just wanted to say that I saw what you did there."
3. Maybe you can't be cooped to death, but don't they beat you into submission? I think saying you voted to death against your will would definitely gather some attention around the divine water cooler.
4. Oh, then I guess I have seen a stripper. A few, actually. That pretty much means every woman and man ever are strippers.
5. Now I want to give someone a billion pieces of small folds of paper and tell them that I made it for them and it's good luck, so they can't ever throw it out. What an inconvenience I would be/already am.
6. Duly noted and will be said to the 7-11 cashier as I buy a pack of gum and a soda.
7. Yes, that was an... interesting part of the book to say the least. I don't think it would translate very well to film, but I do like the comments Tyler makes on perfection. I love Chuck Palahniuk, as you may have realized by my signature. No, I don't want to know who Keyler Soeze is, because I actually want to see The Usual Suspects at some point. I can also ruin movies, but ones you've probably never heard of. If the girl is making fun of everyone's accents but no one seems to notice, she is a Water Nun. There! I ruined a movie you'll probably never see (nor want to see) in your life!
8. No, you ARE a phD in BSing.
9. Damn dyslexic waiters. They're always messing hand signs up, especially when they aren't in restaurants.
10. Thorough knowledge of Sin-- yes. Complete-- not by a long shot. Like I said, I watched a special on Sins, but only the first eighth of it which just gave a background, as I already knew most of what there is to know of the SDS from the internet. I know enough to know more than most, but I definitely could not write a 120 page thesis on Sin with my current knowledge on it.

I think Beautiful People was used more to describe the scarezone, not sins. They aren't many good songs about sins. In fact, I can't think of any off the top of my head. Or the bottom. Or the middle.

Lists were always The Vogue - they're wearing them in Pahhhhhris.

1- According to one girl who's known me since approximately 8th grade, the reason she still talks to me after so long is this: "I'm pretty sure you're going to start a revolution as soon as I turn my back." So. There's that. And I wouldn't say I'm a nihilist ........ then again, neither would a nihilist, because that would be declaring a belief, wouldn't it?

2- I wasn't contradicting anything. Most of the people I know fall well within what I consider 'normal' .... That is, in all personal characteristics, they fall between -1 standard deviation and +1 standard deviation, just like 68% of people are wont to do. There are outliers, but I don't want to start integrating the normal curve equation again. It angers me. Yes, there is an integral that causes me real, actual, palpable anger - once you integrate the normal curve from -1 to +1 you eventually get to a point where the proper solution involves ERF, the "error function." Which translates to "math made it up." Don't get me started. What were we talking about again? Stupidly Advanced Calculus, right? W.....why would we bother talking about that?

3- You're right - I suppose I was thinking of the coopers, and jail. "I killed fiddy men - what are you in for" "I...forced..someone to vote....uh... a lot. Like, many, many times. :::becomes somebody's girlfriend right away, before even finishing his explanation::::"

4- We're all also whores. Everybody has a price. Hey, now, wait a minute . . .

5- The crane thing is a real tradition. It's equally inconvenient too - it makes a great gift. Next time you're trying to woo a guy/girl/whatever else, give them a thousand paper cranes and tell them they're all hand folded just like Japanese tradition dictates, and attach as much importance as you can to the gift. Be sure to constantly look for the cranes. Ask, even. "Hey where are my cranes?" That way they have to keep them. It really is amazing what kind of self-amusement you can conduct with enough time on your hands...

6- If you were lying about this, you will lose a finger within the next four hours.

7- Screw the stupid water nuns - go watch The Usual Suspects right now. RIGHT NOW.

8- I know - I was bs'ing. Duh.

9- I *really* wish I could link you to the skit I was referencing but I can't find a version of it online . . . . DANG. ..... sorry for cussin'.

10- Ain't no way you gonna get a full education on Sin from the Internet .....

October 8, 2011

I would just like to point out that, as a public service, I have avoided posting in this forum, or even reading it, and will continue to do so in the future. Consider that a favor. Once I get started with random thoughts.... God help us all. It's why I blocked Twitter on my main computer and took the app off my phone. Because THAT will go on all day. I have so many Random Thoughts that my stream of consciousness itself has an Erdos number of 4, am I right?!

October 8, 2011

...lol.

Well most of the time its more active at night, so just keep checking in. Its hard to schedule chat meetings.

Me: Hey LostAlice and the rest of the HHN Mafia, why don't we say that every night at 10:30 we can all meet in the chat room for all sorts of fun times?

You and the rest of the HHN Mafia: Wow, March, You just accomplished more in one sentence than Obama has in the past 18 months!

Me: Can has piece of Triforce?

You and the rest of the HHN Mafia: No. You BUM.

Me: That is mean. Will you at least pray with me, you and the rest of the HHN Mafia?

Us, a United People: May the way of the hero lead to the Triforce!

There's nothing complicated about that!

I never see more than one person in the chat room, and I never catch them. And this is all I do besides go to HHN - I haven't seen noontime sunlight since I started staring at the HHN page hitting F5 back in May.

October 8, 2011

Isn't Envy's universal symbol a snake? I mean besides "green with". I'm pretty sure there's some sort of Adam and Eve reference somewhere. Jealous fake snake always ruining stuff. Jerk. I mean, I think that they made the sins the most recognizable for the "LCD", or "Normal People", or "Peons" (AKA Gluttony). But yeah, that's cool. I got them pretty quickly when I saw them. I like it when Lust wears the Las Vegas Showgirl feathers. I mean, yes, I guess the "Vegas, Lust, Showgirl" thing is clever but I really just like the feathers. LOVE Dante's Inferno. Did a research project on it.

You're going to be a little disappointed/excited for Poe: No Cask. But YES a scene from Poe's actual life! WOO! I expect that there are a bunch of references in there that aren't rooms, too.

And yeah, there's this stone wall that has holes in it in Winter's Night. There's some pretty stuff behind the walls!

B-b-b-but ... one person in the reviews for Poe said that

he was disappointed the Poe sealing up the bricks didn't scare anybody .... Though I guess there's a wall-burial in The Black Cat too... Poe sort of had a Thing for that, didn't he?

I didn't get to go on the Tour Where You Get To Harass A&D After on Wednesday but I think it'll be good to go through Poe in the dark before seeing it in the light. I'm sure there are *TONS* of Easter Eggyweggs for Poenerds like me.

How come the Lust girls look the same as the acid assault people? Is the idea that they were so lustful they went to NY? It is a pretty gritty place...

October 7, 2011

Because I can think of no other way of doing this, I'm done with the lists. Done. We would just keep conversing forever on the same topics with no foreseeable end. So, the lists are done. For me, anyway.

Yes, my friend who licks people's faces is quite a character.

Reiterate wasn't the right word, but it was the first word that came to mind.

JUST KIDDING LISTS ARE BACK IN STYLE imahypocritesometimes

1. I wrote that down and I'm holding you to it. I looked up Cooping, and it's only a theory as to how Poe died. Nevermore: The Madness of Poe, disagrees with the Cooping theory.
2. Nothing to say... again
3. I thought their dancing looked more like strutting around in circles. I've never seen a stripper, but I don't think that's what they do.
4. This x 1000
5. They can be annoying. I just really want to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic.
6. I think I may be one of your loyal fans now... And I'm obviously the best one as I noticed what all the rest did not and then ruined it for them. Oh no! You spoiled the ending to the book I already read and the movie I already saw! How terrible of you!
7. She made no sense. At all. Not even the littlest bit.
8. Next time, tell her a thing or two.

Your background info may have been necessary for some, but not for me! Ahm liek da smartezt kidd i no. Not really, I just had a messed up childhood. I still liked reading your background info. I was able to amass all of that knowledge in an hour, how about you?

Blasphemer.

You would be a

poo

fashion designer: saying stuff's out of style then just bringing it back without any change whatsoever? Lame. I'm going to change it up and start a NEW list.

1-I have been conversing on the same several topics for over ten years with some of my friends. Conversations don't end unless they're boring or worthless, like me.

2- I don't wanna know about your weird face-licking friend - such people as these are not welcome in my Normalcy.

3- Cooping is a theory - and actually closer to a fact - about a factor that contributed to his death, not caused it. You can't be cooped to death, can you? .... That would be the worst thing ever! You'd be hanging out at the water cooler in heaven with people being like "i was killed in world war two killing some nazis [pronounced NAH-zees] - so how'd you get in?" and you'd be like "mumblemumble they made me vote a lot mumblemumble" ... I'd venture to say that the rampant drinking and syph were probably closer to cause. The cooping would just leave you exhausted. ..........

.........

..........

Or, you know, maybe Courtney did it.

4- Any girl who removes any article of clothing under any circumstance in any setting is a stripper.

5- Why would you say "this" 1000 times? Is it like that thing where you fold a thousand origami cranes and give them to someone for good luck / to throw out for you ?

6- "I just wanted to see a tree bleed and be melodramatic" = something to say to the cashier at 7-11 next time you go in

7- I'm glad I have a fan. We are turning my thread into the most popular discussion forum since Athens. The movie needed the Tyler-Durden-In-A-Palm-Tree-Shadow image from the book. Also, do you wanna know who Keyser Soze is?! Be careful man - I've seen a lot of movies I can ruin! And not just popular ones!

8- Yes, she certainly is

poo

. I can't stretch that to make sense, and I am basically a phD in BSing.....

9- I made the universal "turn the mirror around dumb-butt - you're supposed to be looking at you" gesture .... That's as good as saying something. The waiter, being dyslexic, mistook the gesture for the international sign for bring table 5 a wheelbarrow full of beets.

10- You've amassed a thorough and complete knowledge of Sin in an *HOUR*? Holy heck, Batman, what did you do in that hour?! It ain't a race! As far as LITERARY knowledge, yeah you can slam that all together on the internet pretty quick but then again my summary was brief (at least by my standards.... My thesis was like 120 pages and I thought that was kinda short). I didn't even mention Augustine. Or get further into the differences between the sins, or say WHY Dante did what he did with them, or describe the dozen developments between the pope writing 'em down and Dante playing with them. There's always more to say.

Nor did I get into how The Beautiful People isn't a song encouraging sin but pretty strongly lambasting it.... "hey you what do you see, something beautiful something free, hey you are you trying to be mean? you live with apes, man, it's hard to be clean" ..... But don't get me started on Manson because that thread would get really long.

October 7, 2011

Hey MarchOfProgress I think we agree on most of the alcohol stuff. I was just saying the security guard could have been worse. I agree with you when you say if 1 person out of 1000 puking in a bush keeps HHN alive then make it 2 out of 1000 and add more scares. Alcohol is already grossly overpriced at the event so there isn't much more they could do to stop people from getting hammered. It brings in money and they'd be fools to ban it. I think the main problem is people showing up already drunk and then drinking a few more drinks at the event. Oh and get a straight shot and it's not near as watered down as the mixed drinks.

Are you saying 50 wrote bub then actually said buh? Because I clearly hear bub. You can call a cat a kit but it's still a cat. It's not a big deal either way. I have more important things to do that argue over a gangster rap lyric. If you call beer buh then that's all you. I call beer buurr most of the time anyway.

Security guards can always be worse, but that goes backwards too: he could've been understanding and been like "finish your beer you got thirty seconds" ... Oh well, eff'm.

Gotta remember that alcohol itself isnt the only moneymaker at Uni - the manufacturers of the stuff they serve are paying for advertising and all as well. . .QUICK: What kinds of beer can you get at HHN? Bet you know! If you're a beer drinker anyway.

About the shot... the whiskey I got tasted watered to me. But what do I know? It doesn't matter anyway since the shot cost more than a mixed drink - I seriously think the neat whiskey was $12.....

Now, to address the most important point of this discussion (and most others that I have) : Fiddy. What matters - what he thought, what he wrote, what he said, or what he meant? Because what he thought/meant/(probably)wrote is bub. That's a given. But what the man *said* was "buh" I hear it cluhrly. In fact, I'm going to go listen to the song right now. I'll be back in Three Minutes and Thirty-Nine seconds. Why do I know that? Because back in 2003 my roommate's new years resolution was to listen to the song once a day every day. He made it all the way to May when he blew out his speakers. For some reason nobody wanted to give him a new set....

There, I listened. Clearly Buh.

We can agree to disagree. Either way, this thread seems to have been hijacked by absurdity, which was not my intention! Never a full hijack!

October 7, 2011

You people put me to shame and I don't know why.

I went 1 night and saw 2 houses. That's it. Are you people who end up seeing the houses 155 times in 2 days the people I see literally running from house to house? If so ..... I'm not one of you. And that makes me sad because I'm not one of anybody, and I thought that on this forum I could be one of you because you all are possibly as strange as I am.

But the shirt I have that says "Bomb Squad - If you see me running, try to catch up" is true.

If you're not crazy runners, how do you do it?! It seems like it'd have to be just luck, because I had several routes people mentioned logged in my head and none of them seemed like they wouldve worked - you'll always end up waiting 45 minutes (so uh, more than an hour) for more than one house, I think. I've only *EVER* been able to go through a house more than once : Scary Tales in 08.

HOW DO YOU SEE THE SAME HOUSE 9 TIMES IN TWO DAYS?!

I mean... we got right to it but only saw 2 houses Sunday. Also I guess it doesn't help that we didn't get in the parking line til around 8 and we left the park around 1130 so .. not much time. Really wish I went tonight to see it on a Thursday! I'm extrapolating based on what I saw and I think I have to go every remaining FFP night to see everything, and I still think I'm going to play Pickup (that's where I go on Halloween, when HHN is - for some reason- supposedly empty).

October 7, 2011

1- It was the way he did it. He jumped out, stared at her for a moment, and then (passionately) licked her face. It was very out of place for Saws N' Steam... and scareactors. However, you are right, people do get their faces licked all the time. My friend once used it as a greeting, as it apparently spreads less germs than a handshake. That was an odd time.
2- I mentioned the nine I walked through when I began interacting with you directly, but you chose to ignore it and say you'd walk through it 37 more times. You could have said you were going to walk through it 45 more times, thus beating me, but you didn't. I'd read my bible more often, but it's written in modern English. Exodus 14.14: "Don't Question God. You can shut up." I kid you not, it says that. So, I can't really trust anything it says.
3 Why wasn't there a hyphen here? It distressed me. I'm pretty sure posts are only deleted by mods.
4- I laughed out loud at this. Sure, I could have said "lulz," but where would the fun be in that?
5- I sometimes forget how odd it is to be apathetic towards someone I've never formally met before. Especially when they throw tantrums.

Your background giving was unnecessary, as I once watched a special on The Seven Deadly Sins on the History Channel before it became the Pawn Shops and Conspiracy-Theories-Presented-as-Fact Channel. However, it was still a very enjoyable and informative read, and I appreciate the time you spent explaining it because most people would give up halfway through writing that. However, I must cut it from this quote, because it takes up a lot of space, and that would make this annoying to read. See? I'm not always insensitive!

Also, I'm glad you are reiterating The Inferno, as it's been three years since I last read it, and it was terribly boring. However, it was much more interesting than the other two-thirds of The Divine Comedy.

1- Better yet, her stage could have been a giant, horizontal fan that pushes her tumbling through the air, like those sky diving simulators! That would've been impressive.
2- I don't really have anything to say here. \
3- And her minions could joust the whole night on real horses! Man, you're right; this zone could have been so much better ! I actually liked Greed the way it was, how she became imprisoned by her jewelry and her minions were choking on their own success. I thought it was cool.
4- Sloth is generally considered the least of the SDS. However, Sloth was originally Apathy, and was considered the most deadly; being incapable of love, you can't love God, and then your soul is severed. I think the whole wasting away idea was interesting, but I don't think many people understood it. The called her "zombie girl." I would have had her doing heroin or something else 'life destructive', but that would probably hit a little too close to home.
5- I would have loved this zone so much more if on the stage there was a giant tree and the minions were cutting it apart with chainsaws, while the tree bled and said melodramatic things. That was my favorite chapter in The Inferno
6- Why, there is no six! How odd! I'll just skip down to seven.
7- I didn't think Envy made sense in 7 at all. What do snakes have to do with Envy? They're green? So are salads. Her stage should have been one giant salad bowl filled with all kinds of edible leafy greens.
8- When I was there, Vanity (I think that is more applicable in the case of 7) just danced around while looking into her mirror. She didn't interact at all when I was there. So, at least one came out exactly the way you wanted it too!

7 was the Seven Deadly Sins, not really Hell. However, if they somehow covered the Hollywood in ice, had people frozen up to their necks in it, and the Devil making more ice with his giant wing-flapping, 7 would be the best scarezone ever made in history.

I hope you had fun at HHN for ... like ... an hour!

Lacking any other navigational system whatsoever, my brother once drove a ride-on lawnmower into an above-ground pool.

I'm not that bad, but lacking no other reasonable navigational system, I'll respond to your listed lists as lists:

The First:

1-People who hear handshakes are one of the most popular ways germs are spread and decide to change their behavior by beginning to simply lick others' faces upon meeting them = My Kind Of People. I say, instead of being a wuss and compensating by - psh - washing your hands if you have a cold, you should just go all the way with it. Good job. If I knew your friend, I would award him a Piece of the Triforce, but since I only know you vicariously, I offer you .... I don't know, five arrows, or a rupee or something. Just *a* rupee- one of those green ones. Don't get any ideas - you're not LIl Wayne.

2- I said I was solipsistic I didn't say I have a good memory. So, SENILITY TRUMP CARD! ... I was saving that one for when I'm actually old and make an actual mistake ("Who killed a prostitute? What's a prostitute? :::pees self:::") but it'll have to do here. Should've brought smoke bombs.

3 The real question is ... Why did you not put one there? Maintaining the integrity of the original, or just ripping it off? Scoundrel.

4- I think I mentioned my broken Compass in my original post (I don't know - who has time to read all that?) but my Internal Compass points me to just do whatever's funniest to me at the moment. Saying "lulz" ? No win. If you really want to Charlie Sheen it up ..... I got a few more tricks up my sleeve.

5- I'd respond with something clever but here's the thing ... Madness drips out like molasses between the corner formed by the wall and the ceiling. And it gets real sad when you see it coming. You have to not pay attention for a really long time, but once it gets on you, it isn't coming off. I've been hit with more than a few sticky drops - it's no fun. HOWEVER...... apathy is smarter - it comes in through the floor. You can be knee deep before you know it and it can make you care so little that you dont even compl

Reiterating Inferno? That wouldn'tve been good. The seven sins aren't represented in Inferno.

1- Write this down and hold me to it: any plan - ANY plan - which involves the phrases "giant" "horizontal fan" "tumbling" and "simulators" is a plan that I will vote YES for as many times as they'll let me, and I will even gladly participate in a large number of Coopings (if you don't know what a coop is, you should look it up, since it was part of Poe's death) to enact this plan. Let's do it now.

2- Yeah gluttony's easy... You don't even need a stage, really : at HHN you're bound to find someone doublefisting expensive beers and someone doublefisting anonymous huge animal legs (they *say* they're turkey legs but, cmon...)

3- She was choking on her own stuff and stuff? I missed that and stuff. See, whenever I saw the minions, three of them were doing something: the Pride girl was looking at herself in the mirror, the Gluttony girl was eating, and the Envy girl was ....... having a snake.... ...... ..... But yeah the rest of them were just dancing semi-seductively (think Uni told them during casting that they were supposed to dance like enchantresses, or just went ahead and said "Strippers"?)

4- How about this : Don't have Sloth dancing around, or I *will* be prone to attack on the basis of Incorrect

5- What you described is the best idea I've ever heard. Plus it'd keep at least one of the stupid Drill Team off the streets. Yes I hate the chainsaw drill team. They wouldn't leave us alone back in 07 when we lost somebody and we were on phones trying to find them and stuff. Just kept revving the chansaw even after we were like 'seriously man, go away, this is kinda important...' ...... AHem, sidetrack.

6- I wanted to see if any of my loyal fans on the forums - I'm sure I have at least a thousand by now - would notice that the list went up to 8. Then you come in and ruin it. Oh yeah? WELL

BRAD PITT AND ED NORTON ARE THE SAME GUY

7- I will say this about Envy's snake: it totally helped that the snake was the fakest looking thing I've ever seen in my entire life!

8- VANITY FTW. When I walked by her the last time she TURNED THE MIRROR AROUND TO FACE ME. I almost had to ...like ... tell her a thing or two.....

If they turned the whole park into Inferno, I'd just let whatever was down at the bottom eat me and die happy because that would be the coolest thing I have ever seen. For now we're stuck with scantily clad women and Marilyn Manson - Psh! How lame is th- -- actually, that's kinda cool. More Manson, Less Clothes!

Incidentally, the second time we walked through on Sunday, a burny face guy and a doctor guy got up in my Lady Friend's face and were menacing, and between that and the beautiful people I was like "wow, I have been to concerts EXACTLY like this. At least five of them!"

Yes I've seen MM at least five times! Yes I've seen him so many times I've lost count and have to say "at least"! That's not the point!

I didn't go to HHN tonight for reasons discussed elsewhere, but thanks for asking, and for telling me my background info was unnecessary! Psh, you know how long it took me to amass that amount of knowledge on Sin? Not everybody knows!

.... Sinner.

(PS I didn't get the Lil Wayne reference either)

October 7, 2011

yeah it was like 2 pages of posts with all this advice, damn, I should have not been so lazy

ARE YOU JUST

BUTT

ING LYING!?

October 7, 2011

lol wtf

If you were wtfing the "pronounced 'shheduled'" just think of an old English guy in a powdered wig shaking his jowls being serious.

That old English guy in a powdered wig shaking his jowls being serious is, of course, me.

If you were wtfing the whole post .... I can second my own motion, can't I? Are you one of those people who runs for office and doesn't vote for himself?

(me = ran for president of senior class back in high school and didn't vote for myself - I thought it was improper manners!!)

October 7, 2011

I often work at HRRR and didn't clock out until 3:40am last Friday night. It usually stays around 40-50mins every night peaking at 60-70mins.

So when do you suggest? On Sunday the line was 45+ every time we checked (and we kept checking - I want to ride that coaster and the only time I go to Uni is HHN!)

October 7, 2011

Be happy the cop could have taken you to jail instead of just making you pour out your buh.

Oh and by the way it's You can find me in da club, bottle full of BUB. As in bubbly or as most humans call it champagne. So you can call it beer again if you want.

I saw 2 people throw up at EPCOT last year when I was there. It was a warm day but they we're both hammered. As Hush said some people can handle their alcohol and some can't. If someone gets drunk at HHN most likely their going to do the same at a football game or rock concert. All public events that serve alcohol have problems with people who can't handle their drinks, not just HHN. So to those who think there's a problem with alcohol at HHN, should we just ban alcohol outright? Ban it at all public events? What should be done about it because it's not just a problem for HHN. Like I said before get drunk be happy but know your limits.

In decreasing order of importance:

Re: relevant stuff. Agree: People get drunk at public events. Agree: foolish to ban liquor outright. But.... Think about this. In order to curb smoking habits in interest of public health (among other reasons), the taxes on cigarettes in NYC are enormous - last I heard a pack cost 9 dollars in Manhattan. Same logic at HHN. Ninety dollars for a beer means that the people who get drunk are spending a whollllle lot of money to do so, which means two things: A- The people who are drunk would get drunk whether the beer was sold there or not, because they are committed to it, and B - Universal's never going to stop selling alcohol at HHN, ever, ever, ever, until they are forced by the gubment - it's too big a moneymaker (and makes people spend even more money because of impaired judgement!). What you and others see as a Problem, Uni sees as a HUGE Bottom Line. And they can always hide behind "you don't like it? Don't go!" and even if many many people boycotted the event because they sold alcohol ("Puritans," I think they're called), they wouldn't make a dent in Uni's Bottom Line. There's a lot of artistry and wonderful fantastic things that go into HHN, but when it comes down to it, it is a profit machine. This is not a public service Uni provides for fun. They're doing it because when you walk in the gate they've already got 50 bucks from you. Next time you go, look around you. Every one of those people gave Uni at least 50 bucks. I gave them 90 for my ticket, and if all goes as planned I'll have given them well over 200 bucks by the end of it all. Some of that may even be ninety dollar beers - who knows?

So, you say some people can handle their alcohol and some people cant........ I'd like to add that some people can handle their drunks and some people cant. I know Uni can. Uni squeezes them for profits! Another suggestion for next time you're there : hit one of the bars and get a shot of something that you know the taste of. For me, that was a whiskey, neat. Taste said drink. Does it not taste watered down? Did you not expect it to? The beers are ninety dollars each and I don't know about you but I'm 6' just under 200lb and not a drinker, but I could put away a six pack and my size + the time that passes = me maybe having a cool little buzz but there's no puking or bad decisions involved. I can say the same thing about my Lady Friend, who's almost 80 pounds lighter than me. Maybe if SHE sat and drank six beers in a row she might be pretty drunken but ... Meh.

Now think about the DRUNK people you see at HHN and try to think of how much it took to get them that drunk. Keep in mind that the liquor is watered down. Keep in mind that the beers are ninety a pop, and that the liquor drinks are five hundred a pop. Extrapolate. Do math. Carry the ones. Look at that DRUNK person. How much money did they drop to get that drunk?

I have literally tried to get smashed at HHN. I budgeted 60 bucks to get drunk throughout the night. Maybe around 10 I started feeling a little lightheaded and tipsy, but when the park closed I was fine - I drove home, which was against the plan. I had a friend meet me there to drive me home because I planned on being too bombed to drive. Nope. Would've taken twice that much.

So suppose you're the average HHN goer. You probably go on a peak night, so you probably pay about 70 right away. Then you probably want to show up to get the most out of your ticket and be there when the event starts, so you get there before 8, so they hit you for another 12 for parking. Then you're in the park. You've already spent 82 dollars. If you take the results of my experiment and say that it takes 2x as much to make you drunk.... then.... by the time you're puking in the bushes making a fool out of yourself, Uni's probably squeezed you for 300 bucks, at least.

Now look around at everyone else. And imagine you're Uni. Do you really care at all if the guy puking in the bushes ruins someone's experience? Eff someone else's experience - they got 82 dollars out of that someone else too. Bottom line, bottom line, bottom line.

This discussion has happened every year since as long as I can remember. Every year people say thisandthat has to be done about alcohol... Well, once you realize that alcohols never ever going to be banned from HHN, you'll see that not only is the "what can be done" already occurring (that is, charging way too much), but it's fueling the fire to make it enough of a moneymaker that there's never going to be any ban!

On top of that, I bet that for every person that can be assembled to boycott HHN until it becomes a dry event, there's at least two who will boycott it if they hear liquor is not served.

So, let's get real here. People get drunk at HHN, some of them get stupidly drunk, stupid people do stupid things, let them do it, who cares ? I certainly don't. I welcome it. Want to know why?

Because the past few years have been economic Poo, and I believe that the profit margin on the liquor is part of what's keeping the doors open at HHN to begin with, and I am grateful for that. Uni is a corporation - a legal entity designed almost specifically to make sociopathic urges allowable - but HHN is way more than that to me. To all of us.

And I say that if it takes one out of every thousand people getting stupidly drunk and puking in a bush to keep HHN alive........Make it two out of every thousand and add more scares.

Re: Fiddy: Sure, the lyric sheet says bub as in bubbly ...... But .... If I believed everything that people were *supposed* to say (or supposed to have said) rather than what they *did* say, then I could no longer rank Neil Armstrong's first words on the moon as one of the most Epic Fails of all time. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" ? In that sentence, 'man' and 'mankind' are referring to the same entity. He obviously *meant* to say "one small step for A man," to offer that juxtaposition the entire phrase depends upon to have any value beyond the tautological or just absurd...... But that isn't what he *did* say. Similarly, what's written in 50 Cent's lyric sheet/Faustian contract - whatever is written is written, what he *says* is "Buh"..... And if that isn't enough proof, I have a photograph of me and a friend holding up what are clearly labelled bottles of Buh. So that's proof itself! PHOTOGRAPHIC proof!

Re: Cop taking me to jail: I grow weary of talking about this since it's at best tangential to the topic......I don't believe there was any possibility of me going to jail, and if I was breaking a law, it's the stupidest law I've ever heard of because if I met him coming the other way, I wouldn't be breaking it. I don't think laws should depend on which way I'm facing. But, okay, fine, I'm grateful the security guard didn't call OPD to send a squad car with two armed uniformed policemen to come pick me up and take me to 33rd street on charges of ...what are we saying I did again?......doesnt matter....charges of Whatever, then spend an hour or so filling out a bunch of paperwork being grateful they got one more sober non-violent guy off the street, because then I'd have to be booked into the jail, wait to be bonded out, then wait in the mail for a notice of Hearing from the Court, then show up at that hearing, have the cop not show up because cops don't waste their time showing up at hearings that are wastes of their time, then having the charges dropped as a nolle pros because there's no witness or at the very worst case, I'd be issued a citation for .... what? Public intoxication is a Real Crime. Underage drinking is a Real Crime. What would I get ticketed for? Possession of buh? Fine of 12 dollars? ..... No, sorry, I'm not actively going to be grateful I wasn't taken to jail because that is ridiculous. If I lived in constant gratitude that I'm not being taken away to jail, I'd shoot myself in the face right now. It's that kind of thinking - gratitude for not having basic rights violated - that leads to a fascist state. We must be careful with acceptance and complacency. And be even more careful with unrealistic expectation: the only reason that security guard would've called the cops was if I started trouble, and then it wouldn't be for Possession Of Buh (which carries a mandatory life sentence), but for Punching A Stupid Security Guard In The Throat or some other unrelated but Real law. He may as well have said he was going to count to 3 or that Santa would know I'd been naughty.

(PS - Seriously how do you eff up the first words spoken on the moon? Did he not have enough time to rehearse during the trip?)

October 7, 2011

Last year Saws n Steam was in sting alley. You're thinking of the year before.

W ... Wow, that was the year before, wasn't it?

Jeez - am I losing my hair yet!?!?

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