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Grime

Grime's Super Short Reviews (and maybe updates later) (and definitely in the right subforum this time)

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THIS IS A REVIEW OF THINGS. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS. NO BITCHING. I also haven't read any other reviews besides Alice's and Ringwraiths. And honestly I can't remember what they ranked things. So this is my unbiased review.

 

BUT GRIME! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU ACTUALLY LIKED X HOUSE/STREET OVER Y HOUSE/STREET? WHY SHOULD ANYBODY TAKE YOUR REVIEWS SERIOUSLY!? HAHAHAHAHAAKAFADSFJLKAJFL

 

Neat. The cool thing about humans is that we're all different and prefer different things. If you don't like the house/street/whatever, then don't do it. I like it for my own reasons and will continue to do so. Be your own person :D

 

So, I haven't had an internet connection at home for a week due to Irma somehow getting a power surge through the coax line on my 1500VA 900W UPS/battery backup and frying my brand new $300 DOCSIS 3.1 modem. Still pissed about that. Also mildly impressed. But mostly pissed. So, since I'm typing this up at work while I await my RMA, I'm going to make it short. Like, very short. Easily digestible reviews. I also may have been intoxicated and don't remember every single detail. Reviews will also be done in the order of my favorite to least favorite.

 

Let's begin!

 

Houses -

 

1) Scarecrow: The Reaping - Loved every second of this house. I dig scarecrows. Scarecrow might be my favorite Batman villain. But my favorite thing here is the room with all of the crows overhead. IMMEDIATELY followed by the room where the crows are "attacking" or just flying around idk. But it's super cool and whoever came up with that idea did a great job. Very well executed.

 

2) Dead Waters - Might be my favorite facade of all time. Good scares, I liked the costumes, but the set was beautiful. I really want to walk through this one every night just to admire the set design.

 

3) The Hive - I was skeptical about this because oooo vampires. But it felt grittier. I also really enjoyed the sets here. A couple good scare points I wasn't expecting. I'd really like to see the costumes in better detail up close.

 

4) Ash vs Evil Dead - I haven't seen the show, but I have seen all of the other Evil Dead stuff. While I may not have recognized the scenes, it felt like there was enough stuff here from the other movies that I recognized. The Ash actors were still getting their groove, but I liked the lines they had and it felt just campy enough to get a passing grade.

 

5) The Fallen - I love the theme, but it fell short in almost every aspect. I need to go through it a few more times, but the conflict between heaven and hell is so broad and there's so much cool shit you can do (just rip off content from the Diablo franchise by Blizzard Entertainment) but I feel like it was just missed completely.

 

6) SAW - I like SAW, and traps, but this house felt empty. I don't think I've ever had a house in the Shrek queue that I really enjoyed. Maybe I was expecting something to the level of SAW from 2009 but nothing really stood out. Flat and uninspired is the only thing I can think of here.

 

7) The Shining - Oh boy I don't even want to get into this one. Easily my most anticipated house, and probably one of the biggest reasons I purchased a FFP+ this year. The Shining is probably my favorite horror film of all time. I love the grandiose scale, the psychological thrill, the shaping of Jack Torrance throughout the film. This house had so much potential and opportunity to play with perspective, so many cool scenes to walk through. And what do I remember from the house? Walking through an endless hallway of doors with axe holes in them, and little recognizable pieces from the movie just thrown up on the wall with seemingly no rhyme or reason. It's like they just grabbed a handful of stuff from a bucket containing The Shining references and just threw it all over the place as they walked through. God damnit I was sad when I left this one.

 

8) American Horror Story - Haven't seen AHS, so that's my own fault. The Roanoke set was cool. Not much to say here. Would probably most definitely rank higher if I was familiar with the content. But for those unfamiliar, it just goes from one scene abruptly into the next with no cohesion and makes little sense. Just seems like it's there to make people go "OH I RECOGNIZE THAT!".

 

9) Blumhouse - Not really a fan of Blumhouse stuff in general. Had no scares here, everything was predictable. Maybe it was just our set, but the one thing I was anticipating was aggressive scareactors and everything we got was extremely lackluster. Actors seemed bored. Again, might have just been tired (it was 11pm on Sunday and I understand the first weekend can be rough, especially to newcomers) but I'll definitely be giving it several more tries in the coming weeks.

 

Zones - 

 

1) The Purge - After my above review of Blumhouse, who'd have thought? The actors are lively, New York works as a great set for this type of zone, and the costumes and props are great. I also like that there's plenty of room to stay on the side, out of the way. And the lighting is good enough for photos, but not overwhelming. Keep it up guys and gals.

 

2) Trick 'r Treat - Easily the most ambient and beautiful of the zones. This is my must-watch movie of the season, and I watch it every year. I love the costumes, I love the interactions, I love the props and lights and everything. Bravo to the designers here. The only reason I rank it lower than The Purge is because it's much more difficult to hang out in. To no fault of the zone, I just like being able to be out of the way and watch people get scared. Every time I hang out in this area year after year I always just feel like I'm in the way. A+ though, keep it up.

 

3) Invasion! - I love love love this zone and especially the costumes. My only problem is that there needs to be more aggressive scareactors mixed in with the elegant beautiful ones. I've seen a few, but it just feels too stagnant. And the couple of times I've been through here the actors are almost all taking selfies with guests. I know it's hard for actors (especially in slower more relaxed roles) to get away from cameras, but maybe coordinators could me more aggressive about it? Idk, it looked like a photo op for everybody.

 

4) Altars of Horror - Needs more props. Felt barren, as if the whole area was simply an afterthought. Only walked through once but wasn't impressed. Honestly just felt like they took whatever amalgamation of leftover ideas they had and went "ehhhh, yeah. just toss it there I guess". Will have to come back.

 

5) Festival of the Deadliest - See "Altars of Horror"

 

Misc - 

 

Bill & Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure - Honestly, felt weak for a farewell show. I got the references and stuff, and the jokes were alright, but I feel like the could've gone all out. More actors, more fireworks, balls to the wall. Cmon guys, you're losing one of your most iconic shows this year. Go all out. It felt just like any other years show. The montage at the end was neat and felt really good, but the show itself was pretty disappointing for a farewell tour.

 

Academy of Villains: Afterlife - Haven't seen it. Heard good things. Now that I've done all the houses I'll probably do it next weekend.

 

Das it.

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Decent review.  So far I only went Friday and for whatever reason,  we did just 3 houses. We were busy Sat and Sun so I'm looking forward to getting back this Thursday.

Now I'm ever so curious on The Shining. I'm like you, it's my fave horror movie. Loved the book, and the book sequel.  More importantly, I thought Kubrick's adaptation was phenomenal.  I think I posted last week that my plan was to go in with low expectations, on purpose.  What did you think of the soundtrack.  Did they utilize the movie's high pitched shriek when transitioning scenes or those deep flat ones - for example, when they'd show "Tuesday" on the screen in the movie?  I've read that they play the opening score from the movie at the beginning of the house. That sounds cool.

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I did catch the opening score at the beginning of the house, but I couldn't tell you past that. I only did the house once and usually if I'm going in for details, I have to pay attention to either the visuals or the audio. I'm not great at catching all the details of both simultaneously, especially the first time through.

 

Sorry :(

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