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marchofprogress

MoP's overall

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Come...Come closer childreenn......I *coughcough* I'll...I'll share my *coughcough* opinion...Of Halloween.. Horror Nights.......... ....25. *hackhack*

Now I ... I recognize, children, that I am an ancient being at the ripe old age of 31 *cough hack cough* ... And I've been to HHN .. *hack* several times..but... Here.. Here we go........

I'll ... I'll have my gggrrannndddssonnn type the rest..... *coughcough* ... I'm 31, you see...so it's hard for me to see the screen......................

====
HOUSES
====

==
25
==
What is there to say about this house nobody said already? It's almost annoyingly amazing. Eff off with your amazing incredible every-room-rules house.
GRADE: A+

==
AWiL
==
What I gather is that they voted on the house they wanted to have re-done from the past 25 years, and they came up with this house, from 45 seconds ago. That's bull. Sure the house is still awesome, but it was awesome the first time.

It's like you locked me in a dark room and just played "Bohemian Rhapsody" - I can't do anything about it. 
GRADE: INCOMPLETE

==
FvJ
==
First off, there's no way Jason would win. These are two immortal non-dying beings, but in the FvJ movie, Freddy surrounds Jason with a curtain of water and he turns into a child and curls up quivering like a wuss. So how's he ever get out of that? Eff that. But the house was cool. Even though the Phillip sculpture was lit up so much it looked like a light bulb. And they just left the phallic Freddy-eating-Patricia-Arquette sculpture pink, where they had to paint it pink for the movie because ... Well, it looks like a wang. Also Patricia Arquette's nipples stick out. Seriously. ............. Wait, does that increase or decrease the score? I don't know.  
GRADE: A

==
Body Collectors
==
They should've built a wall and made this part of this soundstage freezing cold. Also, I saw a wall give birth to a ......Guy?
Grade: A

==
Insidious
==
These movies are rambling nonsense but the house is creepy. I .. T.....Th..... An...... Nope. --Conclusion Here--
GRADE: B+

==
Run
==
Various people various weapons I don't care. Luckily this garbage house earns the C.
GRADE: C+ (TAKE THAT! A TWIST!)

==
The Walking Dead
==
Eff this stupid nonsense. I don't care anymore. Stop doing this. 
The above helps in no way. It's personal opinion, and if I were of the mind that shared personal opinion I wouldn't obsessively go to HHN every year.

That said, this has been the damn house for the past, what, 15 years? And every year I take the UTH tour and it's like "Oh and this is the supply room and the hospital and the woods and blahblahblah". .......... Uni, you handed in the same project you've handed in twice before. I can't grade this bullhonky.
GRADE: INCOMPLETE

==
The Purge
==
LOL, STFU. This should've been Scream. And then they obviously repurposed it in six minutes. I can't grade this.
GRADE: INCOMPLETE

==
Asylum
==
This is the best thing that ever happened.
GRADE: A+

Overall: B+
Yeah, that's right - B+. But you know what, that's what it deserved. In fact, it's what it started with. There was no way for this year's houses to earn above a B+ because one of the damn houses was exactly the same as another house from just TWO years ago.

 


==================
SCAREZONES
==================

I have nothing to say here I ain't done didn't did say other place. 

Overall, I give it an A, not an A+, because of all the #$*(#&($#*&)()*#) FOG. YOU DON'T NEED IT, UNI, AND THOSE OF US WEARING CONTACTS HATE IT

 

===================
SHOWS
===================

===
Bill and ted
===
The worst thing that ever happened. Hunt down what I said in the thread if you care. I don't want to rethink it.
GRADE: F-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

===
Jack's Show
===
Just a photo op and sucking the GP wang. But I got some good pix. Whatever.-
GRADE: B-

 

 

THE EVENT

Overall .............. HHN25 was awesome. Every year is awesome though. Even when there's poopy garbage. 

And even the comparison from my first run (second day) to my last (last day) ............ wow. None of you people sucked. I wrote better nonsense than Bill and Ted in middle school, but other people disagree so whatever.

I GIVE THIS EVENT AN A. AND THAT IS OFFICIAL. 

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