Mr. Cleaver

About a third of the 2012 set don't have artists attached to the tracks. My computer doesn't even know what a bunch of the titles are for these.

Alright, so by now I've downloaded all the collections. I had a problem with a few of the tracks. It doesn't display any track info other than title, doesn't register how long the tracks are, and it won't burn them to CDs. I had this issue with track 12 on 2004 (Diso Pt I), and on 2011, tracks 21, 22, 25, 31, 38, 42, 44, 45, 48, 49, 53, 54. Any idea what this problem is? Every track on every other year has loaded perfect other than these.

...I think I love you.

I'd almost venture a guess that it's possibly sitting outside a window or something, like we'd be out side of a house during christmas at that point. Or maybe it's pre-decorated (i.e. out of box, permanent decorations) where all trimmings remain in place so they don't have to decorate it every time they use it, and they just haven't brought it in yet.

I want a combination of 2004 and 2005. An event that spreads out through two parks, with an over arching story behind the entire event. I would (possibly literaly) crap myself out of joy if it happened. Giant story, giant event, with endless chainsaws. Yeah. That's my dream.

And I thank you for that scare, even if it may not have been you. I love it when people try to get me and they actually do. Usually the only ones going for me are drop windows, which I loathe.

One problem I always face in terms of scares is my size. I'm another one of those 6 ft 230lbs guys with a beard and long hair, so not many even try for me. About 90% of actors at every event and every house go for someone either in front of or behind me. I mean, yeah, I'm not always the easiest/best scare in the world, but I'd like it if more actually tried.

I take pics for those like me: those sentimental bastards whos spend all year staring at the facades of old houses. Maybe it's just me, but not enough people seem to take pics of the facades. Everyone tries to be artsy. Not I; I take pictures on a more archiving basis. Which makes me feel more important than I really am. And what better way to get into the mood when we have no updates than to remenice about last year?

The legacy vids worked fine for me. However, the "Iconic Era" page loaded much slower than usual. Even though nothing seems to have been added.

Wishful thinking. Yes. I would LOVE an event like Tales of Terror, where the whole event is one theme, one cohesive story. And, seeing the 20's casino theme and the talk of a WWI hospital, I could see a whole event being just the "Horror History Lesson," a whole event themed around horrifying events of the past (20's casino, WWI Hospital, Spanish Inquisition, Radioactive Experiemntation (~50s)), etc. I would love that. but I may be alone in that little boat. I can dream, can't I?

Looking over Nick's update checker, the longest we've gone with out an update is about 24 days; but that was the transition from archives to new site. It looks like that usualy between June 22 and July 16 we've been given some sort of update. After that, it's usualy less than two weeks in between updates. I want to say 'be patient,' but they're letting the site get stale. We can only hope that Uni hasn't changed their method, leaving us with a teaser until August. We've got our late June update, so the clock's ticking if they want to keep somewhat on track. 2010 updates 2009 updates 2007 updates Cheers.

You know you're late for a review when the next season is already starting to move ahead. I think it's the perfect time. --------------------- I'll cut the sentimental bullocks about this being my first HHN Orlando and move straight into the show. HOUSES: (in order of visitation) *Legendary Truth: The Wyandot Estate: So this was my first ever HHN Orlando house and, well, I think I could've picked a better start. After standing like cattle for about an hour, we got into the soundstage. The facade was absolutely stunning, with so many tiny little details strewn about that I cannot fully describe it. Through out the entire house, the scenery was just jaw dropping; about as true to a victorian era house as I've ever seen. Sadly, that was the best of the whole house for me. My guess is that I really crapped out in terms of timing, because the entire time I never had any scares; I saw maybe a total of about three actors? Not impressive in my book. Set:5/5. Truly one of the best dressed houses I've ever experienced. Story: 3.5/5. The begining had the ghost hunter guys, but the rest seemed like random house staff in wierd masks jumping through curtains. Scares: 2/5. I found no scares at all the whole time. Being as I heard plenty of screams through out the house, I'm guessing someone got a scare or two. 10.5/15 *Horror Nights: The Hallowed Past: This was, above all else, the one I was anticipating the most since it was in essence a recap of the last 19 years of HHN. Parts of it were a collection of props and set pieces from years past, while other rooms were a sort of "greatest hits," including a set from the S.S. Frightantic and the Body Collector's 'spine ripping' scene. I was never certain of where actors would be at any given point, so they got me a few times. I specifically remember an Eddy hidden in the wall and Jack hiding around the corner at the very end. I was, in all honesty, an easy scare here because I was so busy admiring the entire building. So they get a few bonus points there. Set: 5/5. It was a true smorgasboard of HHN delights; the rooms that weren't just 'archives' were still done extremely well. Story: 2/5. It was indeed a realm of HHN. But no coherent story was present. But that's not the point of this house, now was it? Scares: 4/5. Again, they got more scares simply because I was so busy looking around. 11/15 *Catacombs: Black Death Rising: I, having a black plague fetish, had extremely high expectations for this house. And, believe it or not, I was underestimating it. The facade here seems almost like an after thought, but it still seems to work(plastic sheeting and pipes, anyone?). But inside, it was more than I could've asked for. Actor, actors everywhere! I turned a corner- plague doctor. Turned another- plague victim. Every now and then I had the urge to look up of all places. Whenever I would, another actor would be dropping down on top of me. The best scare of all of 2010 (including HHN and the other events/houses of that year) was here: I came around a corner, and turned around to express my infinite and irrelevant knowledge of the black plague; when I returned forward, there was a doctor. I jumped aside; another doctor. To the other side; another doctor. Never, in my seven years of haunting, have I been the victim of a 'pinball scare' to that level. It was awesome. The museum at the end seemed odd unless you actually read the story of the house, but I liked it. Set: 4/5. The facade seemed weak, but much of the interior matched up with the real catacombs in Paris. Story: 4.5/5. It was indeed catacombs where the dead return; it even drops us off in the musuem exhibit. Scare: 5/5. I got more scares in this house than almost any I've ever gone through. Awesome. 13.5/15 *Havoc: Dogs of War: All I knew about this one was bald people and some Silvester Stallone reference my dad was making about it. Great start, eh? But we get inside and I find- dark. A lot of it. Most of what I remember about this house was as follows: Dark. Dark. LOUD NOISE. Dark. Dammit, I'm wet! Dark. LOUDER NOISE. Yep. I don't remember any specific details about the set or any actors, except that they had the dedication to shave their heads for this house. I vaguely remember some good looking walls and a lot of tubes, but that's it. But they did get a few startles outta me. Set: 3/5. The facade was pretty good, but you couldn't see much inside when everything is bathed in a dark, dark red light. Story: 2/5. The military/government facility thing was evident if you could see anything, but not so much for experimental soldiers. Scares: 3/5. Not too many memorable scares, but they did get me at least once. 8/15 *The Orfanage: Ashes to Ashes: I wasn't sure what to make about this one before I went in. From what I'd heard it was an orphanage. WITH FIRE. So that got me fairly excited. Going through, I found mostly black rooms with blacks walls and- CHILDREN. Yeah, I know they were just short people, but still. CHILDREN. So that got me a bit creeped. I don't remember much for scares, but they were creepy dammit. And near the end, there was, as advertised, FIRE. But only if you looked out the window at the right time. But, still. FIRE. They get points for that. Set: 4/5. It definately looked like a burnt orphanage. Yeah. But, dammit, FIRE! Yeah! Story: 4/5. Orphanage. Burned down. Cindy. Got it. Scares: 3/5. Not exactly frightening at all, but them kids sure were creepy little bastards. 11/15 *Zombiegeddon: Ah, the joke house. Zombies have taken over, and we're in training to fight back. I love it. I personally loved the fact that the whole building had a slight industrial feel to it. It seemd... right. I'm also glad that just about everyone in the house was a zombie. Less victims, more bad guys. Yeah. A few startles here and there, but I think this was a bit more entertaining than scary. But, y'know, I don't think they loose any points for that. Set: 3.5/5. While the whole thing was well done (especially the facade), it got a little bland seeing basically the same room over and over. Story 4.5/5 The queue video really set the story up, and the house itself at least tried to hold it up. Scares: 3.5/5. A startle here and there, but not much that was memorable. 11.5/15 *Hades: Gates of Ruin: The first thing I remember about this house was the facade. Holy Jesus.I was not expecting a mountain with a giant face you walk through. Kick ass. I loved the number of mythical creatures used (including those lovely lizard people), and the fact that they used so many different creatures. I didn't pay much attention to the scenery here, since the action was constant and never ending. Around every corner there was another creature waitin to hop on you. I was actually very surprised with this house. I didn't put much faith in it since the name was in "Clash of the Tiatns" font. Sometimes it's good to be wrong. Set: 4/5. The facade was massive and impressive. The rest of the house was equally good looking, even though the sets started to get a bit repetitive. Story: 4/5. Not much in terms of a plot, but you could definately tell you're in a mythological hell. Scares: 2.5/5. I didn't get many scares, but they tried by God. 10.5/15 *PsychoScareapy: Shadows od Shadybrook: Ah, yes. HHN's favorite franchised house, Psychoscareapy. I had HUGE hopes for this house. And I believe they were met. The whole house had a very dark, grimey feel to it. It felt, of all things, real. The actors were very much into their parts. Some of the sets looked like they had just been ripped out of some movie. One of the best parts of this house was something that you had to be 'in-the-know' to experience. The Red Button. When found and pressed, a dark corridor would light up, and a ghostly Jack would appear at the end of the path. The lights would cut out and an air blast would hit. Damn it was awesome. The big problem I had with this house was the fact that it felt so damn depressing. The colors, sets, actors just made it feel so...pained. So I think they accomplished their task. Set: 5/5. Felt very much like an asylum, and very ghostly in color. Story: 3/5. The ghostly feel added to the idea of ghosts of Shadybrook, but there wasn't a whole lot holdong up the story of tortured spirits. Scares: 3.5/5. There wasn't much in terms of scaring, but these were some of the best actors I've had the pleasure of jumping out at me. 11.5/15 SCAREZONES: *20 Years of Fear: The best part of this was all the old props sittin out. And of course a bunch of old characters running about. It was like the Hallowed Past house, but outside and ready for photos. 11/15 *Fear Revealed: Except for Eddy, not too many seemed interested in scaring. But, yes, it was awesome seeing every Icon from past years. Really nothing more than a giant photo op. 10/15 *Zombie Gras: I didn't care much for this zone. Not many seemed like they were actively trying to scare, just sorta fumbling about. Maybe I caught the end of the shift and they were all tired. I dunno. 8/15 *Saws and Steam: This lost some serious points simply because I do NOT like steampunk. The things with yellow eyes were pretty cool, and the chainsaw guys got some good scares, but overall it didn't impress me a whole lot. 10/15 *The Coven: I didn't expect much from this, since it was basically birds and witches. I was fairly amazed at how well it turned out. The sets were good, the actors (namely the actresses) were spot on, and I didn't have to deal with a lot of birds. Yay. ( I hate birds. F_CKING HATE THEM!) 12/15 *Esqueleto Muerte Day glo party! That's what my thoughts about it are. Not scary at all, but it is really fun to stand around and watch glow in the dark skeletons run around. It was pretty cool here. 11/15 ------ For more photos, CLICK. This will give you pics from through out the event, and also a bunch from HOS 2010. Cheers.

Oh, the stories I could tell. I'll start by saying that if you're offended by language, stop here. This past october, I worked in a haunted house (the Asylum) that's located in a predominately white, upper class suburban neighborhood. This means that every little rich high-fashion-skinny-jeans wearing prick in the state turns up. And they all think they're hot shit. Every room they go through, they jump around corners trying to scare the actors, or scare other guests, or the usual shit. These little piss ants think that they're funniest little fuckers the planets ever seen: "oh, you're not scary!" "He's right there! Let's jump his ass!" I swear, at least 60-70% of guests we'd see a night would shout "You're not scary." Y'know, you little dumbfucks could at least try to be original. No, instead you make the same goddamn joke they all do. And then, if you're lucky enough to have security remove their asses, they'd try to sneak in through the emergency exits. Go hump a land mine. Again, being in a richer area, we'd get ALOT of people who're stoned off their asses or far beyond three sheets to the wind. The room I was in, the Cannibal Hillbilly section, always got either the best scares of the night, or the biggest dicks. Now, hitting/slapping/throwing myself against the walls was one of the staples of that room. I kicked a wall that had several planks loose so it made a nice slapping noise; some drunk prick threw himself against it. He almost brough the entire damn building down around him. We once had one drunk woman who bitched at every thing and everyone. She comes into our area after leaving the 'strobe room,' threatening to sue us because she 'could've had a seizure. She gets to the first person in the room, Jess, and keeps shouting about sueing all of us. She gets to me and bitches about how I could've broken her legs (although I was no where near her legs). Through out our room she threatened to sue all of us individually at least five times. And, as rumor has it, she nearly broke the finger of the last cast member at the end of the house. I don't remember the story, but I know some drunk broke an actors nose at some point. I could go on longer than any bandwidth on earth would allow, but I shall refrain.

My money's on me being wrong (per usual), but, seeing as we've already had "Fear himself" as an Icon, how far off would it be to see "Death himself" used at somepoint? If that's the case, where the hell do you go from there? Father Time?

Now, soundstage 23, with 'impaled,' makes me think Vlad the impaler. But we just had a dracula house, so I doubt that's it. Unless we're getting a whole history themed event? 22 kinda sounds like a 'haunted house' tyype house (IE Legendary Truth). Again, just had one. Floating head? sounds like LT type to me. But I'm probably way off as usual. I'm just gonna guess that I'm running vaguely with one or two vague ideas.

Right now, I want to know exactly what every park and every event is having this year. Being in CO, I get one chance to hit these events, and I can only make it to one area each year. This year, I'm not sure where my haunting location will be, so I really want to know what every place will have so I can compare and make the best decision.

Horror Nights Hollywood, 2009: I had just entered the park, right into Welcome to Hell. I remember Superbeast (Rob Zombie) was blasting, with fire in sync with the music. Some point in the song, a SAW pig jumped on a pile of bodies. At that same time, a huge pillar of fire went up. It was glorious. Horror Nights Orlando 2010: Catacombs. I was leading the group, and I turned around to share my (infinite) knowledge of the Black Plague. When I returned to face forward, there was a plague doctor. I recoiled, and another one popped out. Recoiling from that, I went face first into a third. Damn things were everywhere. The last one isn't from the event itself, but from the House announcements on the old Vault back in 09. The discussion post for Leave it to Cleaver had just been posted. I hopped on and said quote :"...ahem."

I, for one, would love to see almost every house from the past return (particularly Run and All Nite Die-In), mainly because I've only been to HHNO once, and wish that I could experience every year that I've missed.

I need to know everything. Being as I get at most one night there a year, I want to imagine that I'm there and experiencing it in my head. And, being me, I must know the layout, themes, etc. I'm a planner, so I need to know what to hit when, what to avoid, and what to be excited or no-expectations about.