Jump to content

Welcome to Horror Night Nightmares

Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to contribute to this site by submitting your own content or replying to existing content. You'll be able to customize your profile, receive reputation points as a reward for submitting content, while also communicating with other members via your own private inbox, plus much more! This message will be removed once you have signed in.


Sign In Sign Up


Gluten Free / Pork Fried Rice

Recommended Posts

This is an admittedly ridiculous off-topic-topic :)  


Hence, "General Discussion." 


Wifey is gluten-free, along with other stuff, so when we order from Chinese takeout places she ends up ordering very picky stuff, and she always orders a ton of pork fried rice.


Okay, I've had this picture of what a Chinese takeout kitchen (or even more so a Chinese buffet kitchen) looks like and runs like .... And it leads me to two questions... 


First off... The stupid general question of how the heck these places keep so much stuff going at once in the same kitchen. HOW DO THEY DO IT? I've obviously seen these kitchens, but only from the front of the place, and I've never worked in one or known anyone who has (I had a friend a while back who had a full half hour ramble about how Chinese Restaurants only employ Chinese Employees which was not at all racist but just completely paranoid and absolutely MAD that I literally told him he should do as a standup routine. A cut 30!). Seriously, has anyone worked cooking at a Chinese takeout place?  HOW DO THEY DO IT? Every time I see into those places, their kitchens are as big as mine in this apartment I live in, but they have 5000000000000 things on the menu! And one of them is the &#*(#&% Pork Fried Rice (or whatever-fried-rice, which makes this even more baffling)..... Leading me into..


Second...Can anyone tell me how to do this at home? I've tried every reputable recipe I can find on the net, I have a wok that I know ... w... works? .... and I still can't make it the way Chinese Takeout places do. HOW DO YOU DO IT? Wifey also has a very specific trait that apparently some people have where they take the peas out of ... I mean, she'll take fifteen peas out of 500 pounds of rice.  So I don't add peas. Is that why it's wrong ? If so, wh.......... what............... WHY?


Third, implied by that thought: WHAT'S WITH THE PEAS? I think they're to bounce around in the wok to make the rice not stick together, but the people in busy Chinese Takeout Restaurants don't monitor the pork fried rice that closely. The places we go where we live have pretty good stuff, but I lived in NYC for .... however long (this is anonymous!) ... and its the same there. In NYC the place I got it from poured all of it out of the wok directly, like, to order. HOW DO YOU DO THAT WITH FIVE HUNDRED THINGS ON THE MENU? 


I hope someone out there has answers for me beyond "you work hard," which is the answer I've heard before that does not satisfy at all. My wife is gluten-free, so I have to order her a separate pizza from Pizza Hut (I think their gluten-free pizza is gross), but that takes the same amount of time..They just make it with ...... Not...... Well, I don't know, I don't get it, especially since the whole warning reads to me like "LOL this isn't gluten-free; it's just more expensive." 


So Pizza Hut can barely keep two things going: a pizza with flour and with ........ a different kind of flour.








Because ....... Floridonians, ignore all the NYC people. It's the same here. The food is better there, but all food is better there, because the water isn't recycled toilet water (Sad But True).


But in either case.......



I can order up $100 of Chinese Food from China Nonsense next door, and they'll have it in a few minutes. 


This is true throughout the country.


Then you show up to pick it up and you see the weird strip mall the place in and you see the back door from the front door.


What t........the..........f... ARE CHINESE RESTAURANT COOKS MAGIC?



......... Idk. That is all. I have many, many, many more illustrations. But people are gonna tldr me on this probably. I hate that.


Don't respond to this unless you know the answer. To be like "this is long." 



TLDR VERSION: What is it like cooking in a Chinese place making 2000000 things, and how do you make the damn rice taste so good??? 




Seriously, what's it like, and can I do it here? 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't speak to the gluten-free issue, but you're not going to make an exact replica of take-out fried rice, because it's not possible in a home kitchen to get the wok consistently, rippingly hot the way an industrial cooktop can do. You can replicate some of the flavors, but that's about the best of it. 

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't tell you how many times I have gone to an Italian restaurant and asked the waiter for extra gluten on the side. 

Usually makes their day; I assume the rest spit in my food.

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.